


from here to neverland

by asiannoodles



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Domestic, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Kids, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Romance, Slow Burn, Tags May Change, spoilers have been omitted in tags and warnings but tread carefully
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-05-19 06:35:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 73,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14868602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asiannoodles/pseuds/asiannoodles
Summary: Hoseok figured that a promising career and a fiancee was all he wanted in life. But when he meets a certain man named Yoo Kihyun and his three sons, he tries to come to terms with the fact that maybe there's more he wants in life than what he has.But he can't have it all.





	1. lost boys

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: certain tags were omitted for the sake of spoilers  
> will add possible trigger warnings in the future if needed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoseok goes to the park to feel less stressed and meets some lost boys in the process.

The thrill of being on stage was the single most strongest motivation in Hoseok’s life. It filled him with exhilaration and elation as the crowd stood up to give him a standing ovation when he came out for the curtain call. Nothing in the world could beat something like this. He had always dreamed of being an actor and had intended to be one ever since he was young. Becoming a theater actor had been a slight deviation from his original plan but after experiencing the feeling of appearing on stage after the curtain raised and seeing the audience get emotional right in front of him, Hoseok realized that the stage might be the place for him.

It was after all the audience had left and the backstage crew were cleaning up did Jooheon come bounding up to Hoseok, his hand reaching to pat him on the shoulder. “Hoseok! Great job out there today!”

Jooheon was one of his closest friends in the company. Hoseok thought he was brilliant and warm in ways that he envied. Jooheon never seemed to get the big roles though. He always did justice for the important side characters but Hoseok always wondered why Jooheon had never gotten anything better despite his skill.

Hoseok beamed as he embraced Jooheon back warmly. “Aw, thanks, Jooheon. You did great also!”

“No, no, don’t compliment me. I’m here to tell you how much I loved your performance today!” he grinned brightly and it was infectious. “Your acting was so great today, Hoseok, an actual perfect way to finish off the last play this season.”

“You’re too kind, Jooheon!” Hoseok exclaimed dramatically, touching the back of his hand to his forehead as if he were about to faint. Jooheon laughed at him and he straightened back up, asking, “Are you staying for the cast meeting?”

“Maybe?” Jooheon said as they started walking out of the theater together. “Probably not, to be honest. I think I’m probably going home to take care of my dog.”

“Wait, you’re not going to stay?” Hoseok pouted at him. “You gotta come, Jooheon, who else is going to keep me company during those long speeches?”

Jooheon laughed at him and winked. “Just for your information, I got casted for next season’s play already and may have gotten the intern to sneak me a copy of the script. So it’s more like I want to go home and practice my new lines with my dog so I can get ready for the first rehearsals.”

With his eyes opening wide in shock, Hoseok exclaimed, “The casting is out already for next season? We don’t even know what play we’re doing.”

“Word is that the casting director was torn between you and Kibum for a role and he was deciding through tonight’s performance. Plus the stage director is most definitely announcing the new play tonight as well as passing out the scripts. So most people have to stay.” He pulled a coy smile on his face. “But not me because I have _leaked_ information.”

Hoseok hung off of Jooheon playfully and cried out, “You’re ditching me so you can get a head start!? You’re going to be so much better than me next season, I can feel it.”

Jooheon scoffed lightheartedly. _“Please._ We both know that the rising star in this company is _you._ You’re already getting some articles written in those theater magazines and we all know where it’s heading.”

“No, we don’t,” Hoseok insisted, a frown tugging at the corners of his lips.

So many people had been saying that for the past couple weeks. _Hoseok’s the rising star,_ they said. It was sort of true, Hoseok supposed—he had been getting a few articles written about him here and there for his performance as John Proctor in their company’s production of The Crucible and their theater company had been getting some more recognition from the public because of it. But he was nowhere near a viral sensation.

Jooheon gave him a look and placed a knowing hand on his shoulder. “Listen, you’re a few articles away from getting casting invitations for actual television shows. That’s got to be exciting for you and Minah.”

“Minah is probably more excited than I am,” Hoseok murmured with a blush.

Jooheon’s eyes flickered to the right and he pulled his hand away from Hoseok’s shoulder quickly. “You speak of the devil and she appears,” he muttered with an amused chuckle. “Anyways, Hoseok, I’ll see you later. Want to do lunch tomorrow?”

“Oh, definitely! Want me to walk you to your car?”

The sound of clicking heels became noticeably louder and Jooheon smiled with a raised eyebrow. “Mm… I’ll pass,” he said slowly as he backed away. “I’m sure you’d like the privacy.”

“Hoseok!” a high voice called out to him.

Hoseok turned to see his fiancée strutting towards him and he turned to make an apologetic face to Jooheon. “Sorry,” he whispered. “But lunch tomorrow, yeah?”

“Tomorrow,” Jooheon agreed. He pulled out a pair of earbuds, plugged them in and walked away. “Text me details!”

Once Jooheon was out of sight, Hoseok turned around right when his fiancée stopped in front of him. “Hey honey,” he said softly.

His fiancée and fellow actress, Minah, looked up at him sweetly but with a small pout. “Did I hear you were making plans with Jooheon for lunch tomorrow?”

He nodded as they both began walking out from the backstage area and into the main seating where most of the cast sat expectantly. “Yeah. We’ll probably want to discuss the new script and show. Speaking of which, you wouldn’t happen to know what we’re doing, do you?”

Minah laughed at him, her hair fluttering over her shoulder. “Of course I know what the next play is, silly. But I won’t tell you! I think you’ll be quite surprised though.”

“Hm,” Hoseok hummed to himself. He sat down in one of the cushioned seats with Minah next to him to wait for the director’s announcement. The director didn’t seem to be anywhere in sight though.

“Did you read that online article the critic wrote about your John Proctor?” Minah asked him, hanging off of his arm. “Said you were absolutely perfect for the role,” she said excitedly. “We should really start looking into some local agents, you know? It’s time to start planning your career.”

Hoseok smiled and replied, “Babe, you know I’m not that interested when it comes to branching out of the theater. Maybe I’ll consider a few opportunities but I’m not interested in becoming a full time actor that works in front of a camera.”

She pouted and leaned onto his shoulder. “You _used_ to,” she said. “And besides, don’t you want a job that will make you more money and make you famous?” She bat her eyelashes and continued, “So you can take care of your wife for the rest of her life?”

“We’re _engaged_ , not married,” Hoseok snickered. “And I thought you liked acting?”

“I _do_ ,” she agreed slowly. “But if I have to drop that to become the full time wife of a celebrity actor, then you know I will.”

Hoseok rolled his eyes with a smile. “Minah, I’m not going to become a celebrity.”

“Not with that attitude.” She winked.

Minah was a nice girl, she truly was. They had both met because they entered the company around the same time and started dating shortly after. Now the entire company was aware of them and their engagement and they were the red carpet couple there, so to speak. Of course it was only within the bounds of the company but Hoseok knew that if Minah had a chance to break into the mainstream industry, she most certainly would. She was a strong willed girl—stubborn at most—but Hoseok knew there was never any malicious intent behind her greed for stardom. Perhaps ambitious would be a better term to describe her.

Hoseok was going to respond again, saying how he wasn’t planning on becoming a big hotshot actor but was willing to explore different opportunities that were brought to him. Getting his name out there would be another dream come true and if he could slowly branch out and get there on his own terms then he would be happy to do it. But with everyone around him calling him a rising star, all he really wanted to do was focus on his acting so that a man of his title wouldn’t be a mediocre actor.

“I know it interests you,” Minah said, her sharp eyes glinting. “Some agencies have been reaching out to the director asking for your contact information and the boss is also really interested in furthering your career also. You know, for the sake of the company. You’re starting to interest a lot of people.”

Hoseok’s face warmed up as he replied, “Maybe. Maybe it does. But I’m not giving up the place I have in this theater for fame.”

Minah looked like she was ready to get into an argument when their director came out on stage, clapping his hands to get everybody’s attention. The cast members quieted down as the director looked across all of them excitedly.

“Good work this past season everyone!” he said. “Our production of The Crucible was so high in demand that we had to add a few more shows!”

Everyone cheered at that, more than happy that more work gave them more digits on their paychecks.

“And I’m sure that part of that can be attributed to the wonderful performance Hoseok did as John Proctor.” The director gestured to Hoseok who beamed at the polite applause. “He kept the critics coming back for more! So thank you Hoseok, once again, for your stellar performance.”

Hoseok bowed his head in acknowledgement and the director continued his announcement,

“Anyways, since our last season ended late, we will not be doing our usual round of auditions and table reads. You will have to learn your script and get together with others to read together on your own time, but that is optional. It is mandatory, however, to have memorized your lines in two and a half weeks so we can run a dry rehearsal. I know it’s all very inconvenient but we’re short on time and we still want to put out a quality production. Unfortunately, we’ve got to speed up some other things in the process.”

The cast members nodded in understanding. This wasn’t the first time they had to skip part of the auditioning process. Most of the time roles were almost already predicted and set to begin with, auditions were just formalities. Hoseok had a good feeling in his chest that he could land the main role of this play, whatever it was. He had been receiving a lot of main roles for the past couple of seasons and he had a great feeling that his streak wouldn’t be broken.

“Before we pass out the scripts, I would like to announce which play we will be performing!” The director clasped his hands together excitedly. “I am very eager to announce that we will be doing Peter Pan!”

A murmur broke out between all the cast members and Hoseok’s ears perked up in confusion. “Peter Pan?” he asked his fiancée. Minah looked up at him and nodded in return. “Why Peter Pan…?”

“The company has been doing too many dramas,” Minah explained to him casually, “so they thought we should do something to attract some younger audiences also. A family show. But don’t worry, we’re going to be performing the original one by J.M. Barrie so it’s a little more sophisticated.”

“Oh…” he murmured.

It seemed like a strange choice for him because if the boss was really interested in furthering his career, wouldn’t he have chosen a more serious play? Or a play with characters that Hoseok could play very well? There were rumors that they were going to put on The Glass Menagerie and that Hoseok had been in serious consideration for the role of Tom Wingfield. He supposed that there weren’t enough roles for their current amount of active cast members but he would have preferred taking up Tom Wingfield to becoming a mischievous boy in tights.

He didn’t have much more time to think about it before the director was speaking again. “Alright, if you will please come onto the stage I can hand you your scripts. Your parts will be highlighted and your name is at the top.” He looked off to the wings where he was beckoning to someone. “Changkyun—? Changkyun! Yes, bring the scripts now!”

A smaller young man came stumbling out to the center stage with scripts in his arms that piled so high it nearly passed over his eyes. Hoseok recognized him as the newest intern at the theater. He was majoring in theater tech or something similar. He must have been the one who snuck a copy of a script to Jooheon.

The director pat his shoulder (Changkyun nearly dropped all the scripts from that alone) and said, “Please come collect your scripts from Changkyun and we’ll send out some more emails regarding rehearsal times. That’s it everyone, good work with the last show once again and we’ll see you very soon.” Everyone got up from their seats after that to shuffle onto the stage, waiting to be handed their roles.

“Hoseok?”

“Hm. What—?” He turned sharply to see had spoken to him and then relaxed. “Oh, Changkyun.”

Changkyun looked at him strangely as he handed him his script with a smile. “Your part.”

Hoseok took the script Changkyun’s hands and nodded his thanks. Changkyun hadn’t even walked away before Hoseok flipped to the character list to see which character had been highlighted for him. His heart skipped a beat suddenly as he furrowed his brows and frowned at the page.

“Captain James Hook?”

  
  


 

 

 

 

“It doesn’t make any sense!”

Jooheon stared at Hoseok, mildly amused, as he chewed at the end of his straw. “It doesn’t?” he asked.

Hoseok flicked at the lettuce on his burger. “It doesn’t!” he repeated. “Why would Kibum get the role of Peter Pan over me?!” He rolled his eyes as he brought his soda to his lips. “I mean, he’s good but is he _better_ than me?”

With a snicker, Jooheon popped a couple chips into his mouth and said, “Well, you got Captain Hook, didn’t you? I think that’s an equally big role.”

“But Hook is a villain.” Hoseok frowned down at his food. “Kibum is better at playing sly character than I am… I’ve never played a villain before! Even if I don’t get the main role, I usually get one of the protagonists. It’s ridiculous.”

“What did the casting director say?”

“Said something like Kibum was more suited for the youthful, sprightly character than I was.” He scoffed under his breath. “Isn’t that ridiculous? If the director was really interested in furthering my career and getting me noticed, he would’ve made sure I was casted as Peter Pan, don’t you think so?”

Jooheon raised an eyebrow as he set his burger down. “Wait. Weren’t you the one who said you didn’t care about the whole fame thing? Why should the director care if you want to get noticed or not?”

“I… I _don’t,”_ Hoseok said after a moment of being acutely flustered. “Minah was the one who said the director was interested in pushing me forward to get the company more recognition. So if that’s really his agenda, why wouldn’t he cast me as the main lead?”

Jooheon raised an eyebrow because it certainly did sound like Hoseok wanted the role for more public purposes. “But Captain Hook _is_ a main lead, if you really think about,” Jooheon put in helpfully. “He’s just a villain.”

Hoseok gave him a big eyed look, gesturing largely with his hands. “Which is the problem! I can’t be playing some sort of negative character! Especially in a children’s play, there’s going to be more kids and less adults to really judge my acting. And who will their favorite be? Obviously Peter Pan. It’s all a conspiracy to make Kibum the primary actor instead of me, I can feel it,” he grumbled.

Jooheon wanted to say something. He wanted to roll his eyes and tell Hoseok that he was kind of being a diva but he bit his cheek because he didn’t want to upset Hoseok any further. Hoseok was always saying how he didn’t want his slowly acquiring recognition to get to his head and that he’d always choose the theater, but it was times like this when Jooheon didn’t really know any better because honestly, Hoseok only sounded like he wanted the main role for the upcoming recognition.

“I’m sure the critics will be able to recognize a good Captain Hook performance when they see one,” he said instead, reassuring Hoseok. “It’s always fun to play the villain once in awhile, you know?”

Hoseok sighed in resignation and turned back to the burger in front of him. After a second, he finally picked it up and shrugged. “Well, what can I do about it?” he mumbled. “Anyways, what role did you get, Jooheon? I don’t think you told me yet.”

Jooheon brightened at the question excitedly and proudly said, “I’m Mr. Smee! I’ll be your right hand man the whole time,” he joked.

Hoseok smiled. “Hey, no way! That’s great, Jooheon, we’ll get to work a lot together then.”

“Yup!” Jooheon beamed. “I’ve memorized most of my lines already, so if you want to practice some dialogue, I’m always open.”

“Thanks, man, I really appreciate it. But before that I need to memorize the lines myself.” Hoseok grinned as he bit into his burger. His eyebrows raised—it was pretty good.

“So,” Jooheon said in between bites, “what part did Minah get?”

Hoseok paused his chewing in thought and replied, “Mrs. Darling, actually.”

“Really? She went from playing Abigail Williams to Mrs. Darling? That’s surprising.”

“Yeah, it is. Apparently, she asked the casting director to not give her a large part since she’s doing most of the planning for the wedding.”

Jooheon snickered into his fries. “Right. How is that going, by the way?”

Hoseok shrugged as he sipped from his straw. “Minah just shows me some color samples from time to time but so far she’s been doing most of it. And it’s not like I want to get in her way of planning so I’m just standing back for the most part.”

“You’ve already chosen your venue and reception hall, right?” Jooheon asked.

“Yeah, that was the only thing I really had a big say in. Otherwise it’s mostly been color themes, decorations and food. It’s been easy so far,” he said, biting back the urge to sigh. He widened his eyes and gave Jooheon a knowing look. “But you know how overbearing Minah can get and we haven’t gotten to the stressful part yet. The stress is all in the details so I’m not really looking forward to that.”

Jooheon chuckled under his breath. “Then it’s a good thing she’s got control over most of the reigns. I can’t imagine how she’d be if she had to argue with you over colors.”

Hoseok shivered at the thought and snickered. “Well, she’s glad I’m laid back about the whole thing also. Did you know she spent, like, a week on what flowers she wanted for her future bouquet? It’s wild.”

Jooheon just shook his head and laughed.

The rest of their lunch continued calmly after that, talking about whatever crossed their minds as they finished their food. Jooheon had paid against Hoseok’s will as he insisted that Hoseok would need to keep his money for his wedding.

  
  


 

 

 

Instead of heading back to his own apartment, Hoseok figured he would try reading his lines in the nearby park instead. He had always enjoyed the peaceful serenity of nature and maybe he’d be able to get into character without Minah distracting him at home with color swatches being shoved in his face. So here he sat, on a bench in an empty park save for a few kids running around. There wasn’t enough people to bother him though, which was exactly what he hoped for.

Hoseok always considered himself a pretty good actor. Otherwise how would he have gotten all those main roles in the previous productions? At the very least, he always thought he was good. But despite having a pretty decently high opinion of himself, getting into the right mindset to play Captain Hook was proving to be a little harder than he anticipated.

“I shouldn’t have gotten this role,” he muttered to himself, leafing through a few pages of his script.

He was never going to let go of the fact that he was Captain Hook instead of Peter Pan because he sat on this bench, reciting pirate talk, looking utterly ridiculous. This kind of character was undeserved. He didn’t have any clue as to what kind of character Captain Hook was. Clearly he was a villain but every angle Hoseok tried just didn’t seem to work.

“Most of all,” he murmured to himself, “I want their captain, Peter Pan. Okay.” He took a sharp inhale through his nose and looked up and straight ahead. _“Most of all,_ I want their captain—Peter Pan!” he said with gusto. He glanced down at his script to continue. “Twas _he_ cut off my arm. I have waited long to shake his hand with this! Oh, I’ll _tear_ him!”

Hoseok cleared his throat and sighed briefly through his nose. Something just didn’t feel right about the way he approached this character. He’d never had this kind of trouble getting into character before.

He hummed and said to himself, “Let’s try this one more time.” Straightening his back he cleared his throat again and recited his lines. “If I was a mother I would pray to have my children born with _this”_ he raised his left hand up, his index finger curled into a hook shape “instead of that. Smee! Pan _flung_ my arm to a crocodile!” He threw both his hands in the air dramatically. “A crocodile! That happened to be _passing by!”_

The sound of leaves rustling in the empty breeze was an indicator to Hoseok that he looked and sounded absolutely _stupid_.

“Okay, that’s obviously not it,” Hoseok muttered as he brought his arms down as quickly as possible. “Peter Pan isn’t a drama,” he reminded himself softly. “I can’t be that dramatic.”

“How did a crocodile eat your hand?”

“Oh—!” Hoseok jumped in his seat when a small, high voice came out of nowhere. He turned around and found a small little boy staring at him curiously. With a relief, he let out a large sigh, “Whoa there kid, you nearly scared me to death.”

The small boy looked at him with wide eyes. “Your hands!” he exclaimed, pointing at Hoseok. “You have both of them! Is the one that was eaten by a crocodile fake?”

Hoseok looked at his hand and laughed. “Oh, no—my hand wasn’t really thrown to a crocodile. I was only saying that.”

“Are you _sure?”_ the boy asked, scrunching his face and tilting his head.

Hoseok smiled at him. “Do you want to see for yourself?”

The boy nodded enthusiastically and scurried over to join when Hoseok said to come sit with him. With a small hop, he plopped himself right down next to him and picked up his hand to inspect it. His hands were so small compared to Hoseok’s, his small fingers poking and prodding at every protruding vein on Hoseok’s hand.

“What’s this!” the boy asked in exclamation. He held Hoseok’s hand up to his face, tracing a scar that was on his wrist. “Is this where they sewed your hand back on? After the crocodile ate  it?”

Hoseok snickered at him. “No,” he said gently, “that’s just where I fell when I was a little kid.”

“Oh.” The small boy frowned, kicking his legs. His feet couldn’t touch the ground. “Can you move all your fingers?” He watched as all of Hoseok’s fingers wiggled around. “Hm… okay. I guess it wasn’t eaten by a crocodile.”

“Nope, it wasn’t,” Hoseok chuckled.

“Then why did you say that earlier?”

“I was practicing,” Hoseok told him, showing him his script. The boy looked confused at the packet of paper. “I’m going to be in a play and my character got his hand eaten by a crocodile. A boy cut off my hand and fed it to a crocodile!”

“He did?!” the boy asked with eyes wide open.

Hoseok nodded, smiling at his reaction. “That’s why my character is so mad. His hand got cut off by a little boy just like you!”

The boy laughed. “Really?” he asked, looking up at him with sparkling eyes. “Why’d he cut it off?”

“Oh uh,” Hoseok faltered as he looked down at his script. He scratched his head and said, “I… I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” The boy frowned. “Why would he cut off someone’s hand?”

“Hm… you know, that’s actually a good question.” Hoseok exhaled through his nose as he stared down at the script in his lap. “Maybe finding out why would help me get into character…”

The boy opened up his mouth to speak again; he had a glint in his eyes that told Hoseok that maybe he knew the answer. But before he could get any words out, a voice from behind startled Hoseok again.

“Jibeom! Jibeom, there you are!”

The boy next to Hoseok (who he assumed was Jibeom) turned around and grinned brightly. “Papa!” he exclaimed. “Hi!”

A man came running up around the bench, taking Jibeom’s hands and kneeling in front of him. “Jibeom!” he said, nearly out of breath. “Jibeom, how many times do I need to tell you not to run off like that? You have to stay with your brothers or at least where I can see you!”

“Sorry, papa,” he replied with a small smile. “I stayed in the park though!”

The man sighed and closed his eyes while nodding. “Yes, you did, but I couldn’t see you and your brothers didn’t know where you were. And you didn’t tell me where you were going! You have to do at least _one_ of those three things in order to stay safe.” He smiled at Jibeom calmly and ruffled his hair. “Your brothers are on the swings, go play with them.”

Jibeom nodded as he crawled off the bench and bounded off to the playground to the right of them. His father watched him run off with a sigh, his body relaxing when Jibeom joined two other small boys on a swing set.

“Cute kid,” Hoseok said to him.

The man glanced over at him and smiled. “Oh, yeah. Jibeom is a bit of a handful but he’s very cute. Sorry for bothering you, by the way.”

“Oh no, don’t worry about it! He didn’t bother me at all.” Hoseok grinned at the other. “He actually made me realize something I needed to do, so I should thank him.”

“Really?” The man raised an eyebrow. “And what would that be?”

Hoseok smiled sheepishly as he lifted up his script. “He asked me why someone would cut off my character’s hand. And I think if I find out why it’ll help me get into character.”

“You’re an actor?” the man said, his eyes piqued with interest. He hesitantly sat down next to Hoseok, who nodded.

“Well, I’m not a television actor,” Hoseok clarified. The man next to him looked at him with curious eyes that mirrored the one of the child who had sat next to him earlier. “I’m a theater actor. I’m out here learning my lines.”

The man’s eyes widened as his eyebrows raised in realization. “Oh!” he blinked. “You mean like the theater a couple streets down?”

Hoseok smiled widely. “Yeah, yeah! You know it?”

“Oh yeah, a friend of mine just started working down there. Uh, Changkyun? Do you know him?”

“Changkyun is the one who gave me my script!” Hoseok exclaimed with some excitement. “He just started interning there for theater tech. What a small world.”

With a smile, the man chuckled, “Yeah. It’s a big town but it feels like everyone knows each other. Or at least, everyone knows each other in the neighborhoods.”

Hoseok nodded at the comment. “Yeah, everyone knows each other somehow.”

The man smiled and it took Hoseok a moment to really take in his features. He was pretty, by any standard, with his sharp eyes and soft skin. There was something kind and mysterious about him. Hoseok chuckled to himself—maybe it was the aura of a father. He was only half aware he was staring when the other man cleared his throat and stood up.

“Oh, uh… I better go,” he stammered with a weak laugh as he stared at the playground. “My kids are getting into the dirt and—Jangjun! Jangjun, you get that worm away from your brother!” He shot Hoseok an apologetic look. “Sorry! Oh, and if you see Changkyun again tell him that Kihyun says hi! Yoo Kihyun does!”

He ran off after that and Hoseok watched as he scooped up his smallest son with a big swing of his arms. The tiny boy squealed happily in his arms and he could sort of hear Kihyun start talking in a deeper, gruffer voice, saying that he captured them.

_Yoo Kihyun._

Hoseok smiled to himself as he got up from the bench and began the walk back to his home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

He saw Kihyun again the next time he went to the park to study his lines. By then he had memorized a good third of them and was still working on getting the character right. Every time he had read the dialogue to Jooheon over the phone, Jooheon had made a face saying that he was taking the character too serious. But Hoseok didn’t understand—Captain Hook was the villain and if anything, he was _supposed_ to be serious. He is playing the complete opposite to the childish Peter Pan, so a serious character had to be the most viable option.

But instead he told Jooheon that he’d keep working on it.

“The game is up!” he hissed to no one. “The _boys…_ have found a mother.” He scratched the back of his head, murmuring, “That doesn’t sound that good either.” He leaned his elbows onto the the picnic table he sat at and let out a deep sigh.

“Look! It’s the crocodile man again!”

“Jibeom, we don’t point.”

Hoseok looked up and saw Kihyun walking in his direction with all of his three children. He recognized Jibeom as the second tallest one and waved at him.

“Hi there,” he said as they approached. “Nice to see you again.”

Kihyun smiled at him warmly, though he breathed like he had just finished a marathon. “You too,” he replied. “Are you here learning lines again?”

“Yeah, something like that. You’re back here with your kids again?” he said with a grin.

With a chuckle and shrug, Kihyun said, “Yeah, something like that. We come here nearly everyday when we can so they can run off all their energy.” Kihyun reached down to ruffle all of his boys’ hair and they laughed so happily as he did so. “Because these boys will run around the house and knock something over otherwise!”

Hoseok chuckled himself, glancing at the three boys separately. “I can imagine. Three boys running around a house must be a handful.”

Kihyun snorted. “A little more than a handful, if you ask me.” His eyes widened for a moment suddenly as he snapped his fingers. “Oh! I forgot to ask you your name last time we met. I ran off so quickly and I felt so bad that I didn't know who you were!” He smiled down at his middle son and said, “Plus, Jibeom kept asking me who you were and I didn't have an answer for him.”

“Oh, my name is Hoseok,” he replied, holding out his hand. Kihyun took it and gave it a firm shake. “Shin Hoseok.”

Kihyun smiled at him warmly and said, “It’s nice to formally meet you.” He looked down to his children and nudged them gently. “Jibeom? You wanted to know who he was, didn’t you? You can introduce yourself to him.”

Jibeom immediately brightened. “Oh yeah! My name is Jibeom!”

Hoseok grinned at the boy and reached over to pat his head. “Hi, Jibeom,” he chuckled. “My name is Hoseok.”

Kihyun smiled down at his two other sons and asked them softly, “Do you guys want to introduce yourselves also? We always introduce ourselves to someone new, remember?”

The smallest of the boys had one hand in Kihyun’s and the other in Jibeom’s. He looked up at Hoseok with a cheeky smile as his eyes became little crescents. “My name is Donghyun,” he said quietly. His small fingers squeezed around the hands he was holding as he laughed to himself over nothing. Hoseok knew Jibeom was cute already but his brother was just equally as cute.

Kihyun squeezed the hand of the other boy who was holding his other hand and gave him a reassuring nod. This boy was bigger than the other two with a glimmer in his eyes as he held Kihyun’s hand tighter. He looked a little reluctant to speak to Hoseok but the moment he did, he spoke up with a loud voice and a tiny jump of his body.

“I’m Jangjun!” he announced proudly, jabbing a thumb against his chest. There was a bit of mischief in the way that he smiled.

Hoseok grinned at the three of them. The sight of all of them made him already kind of light and giddy in his chest. “Hi,” he said to all of them. “It’s very nice to meet all of you.”

They all beamed at his words and Kihyun smiled down at them fondly. “Jibeom’s been asking about you ever since you two met. All he would call you at home was ‘crocodile man’ so it’s good that he knows your name now.” Kihyun laughed and Hoseok laughed along with him.

“That’s adorable,” Hoseok said. He smiled at Jibeom who was staring at the ground, shuffling his foot against Donghyun’s playfully. “They’re all so cute. And I’m just glad they don’t know me as ‘the crocodile man’ anymore.”

Kihyun laughed airily and said, “Well, lucky you’re just crocodile man. Jibeom’s called some people worse things before.” He leaned in to whisper, “There was a whole week where he called this poor old lady Wrinkly Bird Woman.” He shook his head with a laugh. “Poor Ms. Park.”

Jibeom stared down at his feet bashfully and Hoseok grinned. “You seem to know everyone at this park.”

“Yeah, we try to. It’s safer that way. So we usually know the regulars around here.” Kihyun paused and looked at Hoseok for a moment. “You… don’t really come around here often. Do you?”

Hoseok raised his eyebrows. “Oh. Oh, yeah, no I don’t come around here very often. I mean I like to sit outside while learning my lines and I used to come here once in awhile. But I haven’t been here in a long time ever since we got busy at the theater.”

“I guess our paths never crossed until now.” Kihyun smiled at him and something in Hoseok’s chest warmed. “I hope you come by more often! It’s a great park to just sit around in even if you don’t have kids.”

“Papa! Papa!” Kihyun looked down to where Jangjun was tugging on his wrist. “Can we go play on the monkey bars?” It seemed he could feel like his father was about to start conversing for a while so he wanted to play in the meantime.

Kihyun looked over to where the monkey bars were and told him, “Yes, you may go play. Make sure you keep your brothers with you, okay?”

“Okay!” Jangjun grabbed his brothers’ hands and together they scampered off in high spirits.

Hoseok smiled as they ran off and then looked up at Kihyun. “They’re all rather energetic, aren’t they?”

“More than enough for me,” Kihyun said as he sat down across from Hoseok. With a weary smile he continued, “But they’re my life, I absolutely adore them. I wouldn’t trade them for anything.”

“You’re not one of those Facebook moms are you?” Hoseok joked. “The one who posts every other hour about how they hate changing diapers but their kid is their new best friend?” He enjoyed the way Kihyun burst out into laughter in front of him.

Kihyun grinned. “Sorry to say I’m not one of those parents. Unfortunately I wasn’t lucky enough to be blessed with the opportunities to change diapers. But even if I was, I’m not that obnoxious.” He raised an eyebrow. “Why? Do I look like the type?”

Hoseok shrugged teasingly. “Maybe you do. The way you look at them makes you seem like the type.”

Kihyun smiled. “Me? Do I look at them like they’re my best friends?” He covered a hand over his mouth in mock shock. “Uh oh… I’ll need to start hanging out with people my age now.”

“Hey, there’s no shame is constantly being around with your kids,” Hoseok told him with a laugh. “I’d rather spend time with my kids than work. Uh, if I had any kids,” he quickly corrected. “I’ve got no offspring yet.”

Kihyun laughed again and there was something about his laugh that Hoseok found so charming. “Enjoy it while you can,” Kihyun told him. “Life gets so much busier once you get one kid, let alone three.” He glanced over to the playground where his children were playing safely and he sighed contently. “You’ll find you don’t even have time for work.”

Hoseok played with the pages of his script flippantly and said, “Honestly, I think sometimes I could use a fresh pair of eyes for my work. Even if that means having a three year old best friend,” he teased.

Kihyun smiled at him the way he imagined one of his parents would if he made a bad joke. After a moment, he said, “You said you were still learning your script, right? May I ask what play it is?”

“Oh, of course!” Hoseok flipped the script back to its front page and turned it around to Kihyun could see. “The theater is doing Peter Pan.”

Kihyun’s eyes positively lit up as he looked down to the script and then back up at Hoseok with eyes sparkling with awe. “Peter Pan? Really? I love Peter Pan! I read the original novel by J.M. Barrie back in college and I absolutely loved it. Will you be performing the J.M. Barrie version of the play also?”

Hoseok felt momentarily stunned by Kihyun’s sudden outburst of passion. After a pause, he slowly murmured, “Yeah. Yeah, we’re performing the J.M. Barrie version.”

“Who are you playing?” Kihyun asked him with glittering eyes as he picked up the script.

“Captain James Hook,” Hoseok told him. He tried not to let a disappointed smile sneak onto his face but he felt that maybe it might have judging by the look Kihyun gave him. “I’ve been learning his lines for a week now and I’m still getting into character so… I don’t think I really know him yet.”

The glance Kihyun gave him was slightly coy as he peeked over the edge of Hoseok’s script. “You’re Captain Hook? That explains the whole _crocodile-ate-my-hand_ thing that Jibeom kept going on about,” he said with a light laugh. “But that’s so cool, Hoseok, I’ll have to go see it.”

Hoseok nodded at the comment and grinned wider. “You should. I think it’ll end up as a pretty great production.” Hoseok was only half lying because honestly, what production would be great with Kibum at the center of the stage? He couldn’t imagine it.

“When does it open?” Kihyun asked as he looked through a couple pages of the script. “Do you know?”

“Mm,” Hoseok hummed. He tapped his chin in thought then replied, “It’s probably going to open in a couple months. Five months at most because we’re trying to bring this production out quickly.”

“I should try to go see it.” He smiled. “I haven’t been to a play in so long, I would love to see Peter Pan.” He handed Hoseok’s script back to him with a soft smile.

Hoseok stared at him for maybe one second too long because his smile was so pretty, but he cleared his throat after his small moment. “Yeah, Peter Pan is going to be a really cool production.”

They spiraled into a conversation then about plays and the last ones both Hoseok and Kihyun had seen. Kihyun turned out to be an enthusiast and loved the theater, whether it was for plays or musicals. He was rather partial to musicals though, Hoseok found out. He hadn’t watched a production in years though, at least, not ever since he got busier with his kids. But he used to try and see as many as he could.

It also turned out that he recognized Hoseok once Hoseok told him the past roles he played. He had seen Hoseok years ago when he was acting one of his first characters—the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. He had seen a couple other roles Hoseok played as well.

After that they spent some more time together just talking about whatever crossed their minds. Hoseok realized that Kihyun was so easy going and nice to talk to. For someone he had just met, Hoseok felt like he had known Kihyun for longer than just two brief meetings. There was something so friendly and warm about him and Hoseok suspected it was that aura of a father again. They talked for maybe another hour and a half before the smallest of Kihyun’s boys came shuffling up to him.

“Papa,” he murmured as he came up rubbing his eyes.

Kihyun looked away from Hoseok to smile at his son. He reached out to hold Donghyun’s face in his hands softly. His hands were so large compared to the small boy’s face, Hoseok noticed. The difference was charming.

“Yes, baby?” Kihyun asked with a soft voice, brushing the bangs off of Donghyun’s forehead.

Donghyun blinked his eyes drowsily and whispered, “I’m sleepy, papa.”

Kihyun looked at him with a soft gaze and nodded. “Sleepy? Want to go home then?” Donghyun nodded and Kihyun leaned down to kiss his forehead. “Okay, baby, let’s go home.” He shot Hoseok an apologetic look as he gathered up his son in his arms and lifted him up. “I’m sorry about having to ditch you again,” he said with a smile.

Hoseok stood up as Kihyun did, shaking his head and saying, “No, no, don’t worry about it. I was just about to leave also.” He smiled at the way Donghyun had wrapped his arms around Kihyun’s neck, already falling fast asleep with his face nestled against his father’s shoulder.

“Jangjun! Jibeom!” Kihyun called over his shoulder. His kids came running to him a second later and he threw another smile at Hoseok. “If you find out when the official show dates open, find me and tell me, okay?” He smiled as he rubbed Donghyun’s back warmly. “I’ll definitely buy tickets.”

Hoseok nodded to him with a bright smile. “Yes. Most definitely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello thank u for reading :)  
> if ur wondering, this fic is 100% inspired by finding neverland, so if u ever got to see the musical then u basically know how this is going to go lol but in my own way ofc!
> 
> also yes this features golden child as the children. and minah and kibum are nobody in particular but if u wanna imagine them as someone go ahead lol
> 
> anyways thats it! i hope u enjoyed!  
> see u all next time ! <3


	2. the darling family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kihyun's family, Hoseok finds out, is full of darlings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! enjoy ch 2!

 

"Do you know when opening night is?”

Changkyun looked up at Hoseok in surprise. He wrote something down on his clipboard and said, “Opening night? Uh, I don’t think that’s been confirmed yet. Why do you ask?”

Hoseok shrugged. “I just… I wanted the info for someone else who wants to see the show.”

“I thought,” Changkyun said, pausing in his steps momentarily, “that we were supposed to keep what show we were doing next top secret.”

“Just to the public,” Hoseok replied. He followed Changkyun as he stepped away to the stage wings to check on something. “So technically I didn’t break any rules.”

Changkyun snorted at that and put his pen behind his ear. “I guess,” he chuckled.

“Oh! Kihyun says hi,” Hoseok then said quickly. “He wanted me to say that for him.”

“Yoo Kihyun? You know Kihyun?”

Hoseok stared at Changkyun as he was testing out the ropes on the stage wings. “Well, sort of? I only met him by chance at the park.”

Changkyun raised an eyebrow as he lowered a background piece onto the stage. “At the park? He was there with his kids then.” He checked something off on his clipboard and walked away.

“Yeah, he was.” Hoseok followed him. “The youngest one—Donghyun?—he’s really cute.”

“Hm? Oh yeah, Donghyun’s adorable. Really cute kid,” Changkyun replied a little mindlessly as he went to go check the sound equipment.

“Kihyun says hi,” Hoseok told him again. “That’s really all he wanted to say.”

Changkyun laughed as he pressed a couple buttons on the machinery. “That’s it?” he snickered. “Sounds like Kihyun. And that’s _all_ he really wanted to say?”

“Yeah. How do you know him, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Changkyun shot him a strange look briefly before shrugging lightly. “We went to the same elementary school. He was a couple grades older than me though. And our families are friends so we’ve always kind of kept up with each other. Kihyun was my favorite because he always gave me candy when I came over,” he laughed.

Hoseok smiled at the thought. “He seems like a really good guy. I didn’t spend that much time with him but he looks to be really good with his kids?”

Changkyun grinned. “Oh yeah, Kihyun’s a great dad. I’ve seen that first hand and can confirm.”

“How old are they?”

“Hm…” Changkyun paused in thought. “Donghyun is about four now, I believe. Jibeom is six and Jangjun is eight. Pretty even.”

Hoseok thought back to how Kihyun gently held his boy’s hands and spoke to him in a soft voice. He had glowed as he sent Jibeom off to play but he still looked so effortlessly untired. “Mrs. Yoo must be a really lucky lady,” he said offhandedly.

Changkyun’s hands froze above a button as he pressed his lips into a thin line. “Uh. There is no Mrs. Yoo.”

Hoseok felt his smile twitch for a second, feeling an awkward sensation seep into the air. “…What do you mean? How does he have kids?”

 _“Uh…_ through adoption,” Changkyun replied slowly. “He can’t have kids.”

“Is he… Is he sterile or something?” Hoseok asked with a little quirk of his eyebrow.

Changkyun scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “Um, no. It’s more like he, himself, can’t get pregnant because you know… he’s a _guy._ And is never going to voluntarily get a girl pregnant.”

“What?” Hoseok furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Why would he—oh. _Oh,_ I see. So there’s a _Mr._ Yoo then?”

Changkyun opened his mouth to speak but then he closed it promptly. After a moment of thought, he said, “Well, technically there _was_ a Mr. Yoo. But he left a long time ago.” He pursed his lips in distaste.

“Where is he now?”

“I don’t know. Europe, probably?”

Hoseok blinked, his smile completely gone now. “So… Kihyun is divorced? Does the other dad still pay child support?”

Changkyun made a face. “Of course not, they divorced before Kihyun adopted his boys.” He took a moment to look shocked at the information he had given.

“Isn’t that difficult?” Hoseok asked. His eyebrows knit together as he said, “He’s a single dad with three boys.”

Frowning, Changkyun said, “Listen, I think I accidentally told you too much I wasn’t supposed to say already. I really shouldn’t have given you all those private details about Kihyun when you don’t really know him.” He tore his eyes away and cleared his throat. “So I can’t answer any more of your questions regarding his personal life.”

“Right. Sorry,” Hoseok murmured, rubbing the nape of his neck. “I shouldn’t have pressed you about him like that.”

“It’s fine. I probably shouldn’t have let out all that slip out anyways. Um, if you see Kihyun again don’t tell him about this, okay? He really doesn’t like it when people know about his situation and pity him.”

Hoseok nodded. “Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks anyways, Changkyun. Let me know when the first dates open up.”

“I will.”

Hoseok made a mental note to not bring it up the next time he saw Kihyun. But at the same time, he made another mental note to try and help Kihyun out if he had the chance.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Seeing Jibeom’s big sparkling eyes and curious gaze almost seemed customary to Hoseok now. Every time he went to the park to study his lines, Jibeom was always able to find him, scurrying over to plop himself right by Hoseok’s side and always with a question to ask. Sometimes he would ask him something simple and leave, and other times, he would stay.

“Are you a bad guy?”

Hoseok blinked at him in some confusion. “Hm…?”

“My papa,” Jibeom explained as he played with some rocks in his hands, “said that you’re going to be a bad guy. And that’s why a crocodile ate your hand off.”

“Oh.” Hoseok laughed out loud. “A crocodile didn’t take my hand off, Peter Pan did.”

“But the crocodile ate your hand?”

Hoseok nodded. “Yes, he did. That’s why he keeps coming after me!”

“So you are a bad guy!” Jibeom exclaimed as if he realized something. “That’s why Peter Pan cut off your hand—because you’re the bad guy!”

“I don’t think Captain Hook is too much of a bad guy,” Hoseok said with a soft chuckle, “but if you think so.”

“Mr. Hoseok, if you’re a bad guy,” Jibeom suddenly said, “then I have to defeat you!”

Hoseok blinked in mild confusion at the small boy when Kihyun came jogging up to them.

“Jibeom!” he called. “Jibeom, I told you not to bother Mr. Hoseok while he’s working.” He took Jibeom’s hand gently and smiled an apology to Hoseok. “I’m sorry, Jibeom has this habit of running off these days. I’m sure he didn’t mean to bother you.”

“Oh no, he wasn’t bothering me at all,” Hoseok reassured with a smile. “I quite enjoy his company.”

Kihyun chuckled and brushed his hair back. “Even so, I shouldn’t be letting him escape me so easily. I’m really sorry!”

“But papa!” Jibeom said innocently, interrupting him. “You said we had to beat up bad guys for you! We promised, remember? After those bad guys put you in the hospital, you said we could—!”

“Shh, shh, Jibeom.” Kihyun knelt down and covered his son’s mouth quickly. “That’s between papa and your brothers. Okay? Sworn to secrecy!”

Jibeom’s eyes widened as he nodded fast. “Oh, yeah! I remember!” Then he lowered his voice and whispered, “Can we fight this bad guy for you?”

“No, baby, Hoseok isn’t a real bad guy,” Kihyun chuckled. “We shouldn’t bother him while he’s working.”

“He’s not?” Jibeom pouted as if he was disappointed and Hoseok laughed at it. He hummed sadly as Kihyun brushed his hair back. “Who will me, Jangjun and Donghyun chase then? If there are no bad guys today?”

Kihyun laughed. “Who will _I,”_ he first corrected gently. “And you can chase me around. Okay? Like we always do. I’ll be the bad guy again!”

Jibeom pouted and crossed his arms with a huff. “That’s no fun…”

_“Jibeom.”_

“Okay,” he sighed. He nodded obediently and smiled when Kihyun pat his head affectionately. “Are we going to go back to the monkey bars then?”

Kihyun nodded. “Jangjun still has control! We have to get it back from him!”

“Oh! You’re right, I forgot!” Jibeom slapped a hand to his forehead comically and Hoseok’s heart just about warmed at the sight. “We have to make sure no bad guys can take the monkey bars!”

“That’s right.” Kihyun grinned at him. “Now go shake Mr. Hoseok’s hand and say good-bye, okay? So that he can finish studying his lines.”

“Okay, papa.” Jibeom nodded and turned to Hoseok, his small hand outstretched. “Sorry for bothering you today!” he chirped, although he didn’t sound very apologetic at all. Considering that Jibeom had found his way to Hoseok every time he had been to the park so far, Hoseok figured that if he even was sorry, it was definitely not as much as Kihyun wanted him to be. Kihyun seemed to notice, smiling a soft, tired smile at his son.

And Hoseok glanced at those tired eyes and then looked at Kihyun’s other sons dangling from the monkey bars and smiled at Jibeom arrogantly. “You dare ask to shake hands,” he said gruffly, “with a _pirate?!”_

Jibeom and Kihyun looked both equally confused at his words until Jibeom gasped and slapped a hand over his mouth. “You! You are a bad guy!”

“The baddest guy in all the park!” Hoseok exclaimed, crouching over and wiggling his fingers menacingly, laughing inside at how Jibeom’s eyes widened.

“Hoseok—” Kihyun began.

Jibeom interrupted loudly, shouting, “I told you! I told you Mr. Hoseok was a bad guy! Come on, papa, we have to go warn Jangjun and Donghyun!” He tugged at Kihyun’s hand.

Kihyun looked back and forth between them in confusion. “Jibeom—Wait, Hoseok, what are you—”

“Don’t worry about it, I’d love to play bad guy for a day.” Hoseok winked at him. “I don’t mind.” He bent down Jibeom’s eye level and said, “I’ll give you and your papa a head start so can go to the monkey bars first. But hurry! I want to be king of the monkey bars so if anybody stands in my way, I’ll eat them up!”

Jibeom screamed and ran away after that, dragging Kihyun’s hand behind him and yelling his brothers’ names at the top of his lungs. Kihyun chuckled breathlessly as he followed his son, looking back only to give Hoseok some strange looks.

There was something pretty about his sparkling eyes, Hoseok realized to himself. He shook his head when he thought that—thinking himself strange but he was running off to chase them before he could think about it again.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Hoseok thought that Kihyun’s smile was one of the prettiest things he had ever seen. It was weird of him to think that, he realized belatedly later, but it was a simple truth. He figured he only thought that way because Kihyun’s smile was as bright as the sun, anyways. There was something about Kihyun, Hoseok didn’t know what it was, but there was something that attracted him whenever he saw him. Something so kind underneath the bright smile, something so warm underneath his twinkling eyes—he was his own style of beautiful.

But there was something _really_ beautiful in the way that he blushed.

He hadn’t meant to see it—it was only by chance. He was learning the last of his lines since the first rehearsal was a few days away and he had just closed his script, satisfied with his work, when a small rock came flying to his head.

“Hey—!” he exclaimed. Glancing around, he found the obvious culprits peeking at him from behind a park bench. He pulled a playful scowl on to his face as he stood up slowly. “Hmmmm,” he sang out loud as he began walking slowly over. “I wonder who threw that… could it be Jangjun? Jibeom? Or Donghyun?”

A fit of giggles burst from behind the bench as Hoseok neared. He heard rustling and their voices were high as they told each other to be quiet. Just as he was about to peek his face over the edge of the bench and shout a victorious _‘Ah-ha!’_ a bundle of leaves was thrown straight at his face, so a strangled _‘Hey!’_ came out instead.

“Run!” If Hoseok wasn’t mistaken, it was Kihyun who had yelled at them to run.

Hoseok was sure Jangjun shouted out, “He’s going to kidnap us!” And if they wanted Hoseok to play the kidnapper then hell, he would kidnap them.

He had only met Kihyun and the boys a few times in this park, but despite that he seemed to click so well with them. It wasn’t hard to engage with the children—playing with them seemed like second nature. And there was something about the way their faces lit up whenever he played a monster that made his heart flutter.

“Which one of you threw that?!” he exclaimed, rubbing some twigs out of his hair. “I’ll catch you and take you home if I find you!”

Donghyun’s high pitched scream filled the air as he bolted as far away from Hoseok as he could. Jangjun followed suit, holding his father’s hand as he ran behind a tree but Jibeom didn’t get very far before Hoseok scooped him up and tossed him over his shoulder.

 _“Papa!”_ Jibeom shrieked. He flailed around unceremoniously but Hoseok held a tight grip.

“Your papa can’t save you now!” Hoseok yelled triumphantly. “Did you throw that rock at me, Jibeom?”

Jibeom screamed, kicking his legs in the air. “No!” he laughed wildly. “It wasn’t me, I promise!”

“Are you sure?” Hoseok asked him, tickling his sides. “I think you’re the one who threw it at me.”

“I didn’t!” he screamed again. Hoseok tried his best not to drop him since he was wiggling around so much. “Papa!” he shrieked out once more.

When Hoseok looked over, Donghyun had already run over to where Kihyun and Jangjun were hiding and they were transpiring together as Jibeom kept waving around in his arms.

“We’ll save you, Jibeom!” Jangjun yelled from across the way, pointing his finger at them.

Hoseok jabbed at Jibeom’s sides lightly and he broke out into giggles again. “Looks like I’ll have to keep you hostage until whoever _really_ threw the rock will reveal themselves.”

Jibeom’s high pitched reply was cut off by a very different high pitched cry that was coming straight for Hoseok. He looked down and found Donghyun sprinting straight at him, leaping through the air like tiny flying squirrel to attach himself around Hoseok’s waist.

“Oof—Donghyun!” Hoseok exclaimed with a burst of laughter. He stumbled from the new weight added to his body as Donghyun buried his face into his stomach and laughed brightly. “Donghyun, what are you doing?”

Donghyun looked up at him, scrunching his face up in a smile as his chin dug into Hoseok’s side. “I’m the distraction!”

“Distraction? Distraction from what?” Hoseok asked. He struggled to keep Jibeom in his arms as he fought against Donghyun’s weight dragging him down.

Then out of nowhere, he heard a loud scream that was akin to something of a battle cry and when he turned he saw Jangjun running straight towards him with his arms flying behind his back, screaming at the top of his lungs. Hoseok was ready to bark some fighting words at him, something about how he would never get Jibeom back and that Donghyun was next, but before he could say anything, Jangjun rammed into him, effectively knocking the wind out of him with an impressive headbutt.

“Holy—!” Hoseok wheezed as he staggered backwards. In the moment that he let go of Jibeom with one arm to clutch his stomach, Kihyun swooped in and grabbed Jibeom out of his arms in one swift motion. Donghyun jumped off of his waist and took Jangjun’s hand in his as they ran away laughing.

“We got Jibeom back!” Donghyun cried out excitedly. He danced around and stuck his tongue out at Hoseok.

“It’s four versus one, that’s no fair!” Hoseok called back, rubbing the spot where Jangjun had headbutted him. “It’s a fake win!”

“But we still got Jibeom back!” Kihyun replied loudly as he held Jibeom in his arms securely. Jibeom’s laugh twinkled in the air as Kihyun kissed his face. “And you’ll never capture him again!”

“Is that _so?”_

Hoseok ended up chasing the small family for probably an hour. His goal had been to kidnap Jibeom again and hold him captive for a few more minutes but somehow it turned into him trying to fight off all three kids at once as Kihyun goaded them on while laughing.

They were running away again, Kihyun safely guiding them from behind as they laughed at Hoseok. Hoseok pursed his lips playfully and before they were completely out of reach, he grabbed Kihyun by the waist and pulled him back.

“Hoseok—!”

“Papa!” Jangjun exclaimed in terror. All three boys skidded to a halt as Hoseok made a cage around Kihyun’s body and pulled him away from the boys.

He laughed villainously as he held a tight grip over Kihyun’s stomach. “I’ve got your leader! Now you have no choice but to surrender!”

“Hold your ground, boys!” Kihyun shouted as he struggled against Hoseok’s arms.

Hoseok covered Kihyun’s mouth with his palms and Kihyun laughed so happily, like he was being tickled. Hoseok grinned and then turned back to the boys, yelling, “Surrender or your papa gets it!”

“... _gets what?”_ Donghyun asked Jangjun in a whisper.

“He’s going to hurt papa!” Jibeom shrieked, his eyes widening comically as he slapped his palms to his face. “We have to save him!”

“But we can’t surrender!” Jangjun declared. He tightened his small fists and and narrowed his eyes at Hoseok. “We’ve got to fight.”

Donghyun gasped, his little hands going up to cover his mouth. _“Fight?”_

“How else will we save papa?”

As they discussed their options among themselves, Hoseok moved himself and Kihyun into the middle of the sandbox. He kept one arm around Kihyun’s waist and the other hand over his mouth. “Sorry for kidnapping you,” he whispered into his ear.

Kihyun chuckled and reached up to move Hoseok’s hand off his mouth slightly. “Don’t worry about it, the boys are having lots of fun.”

“They are?” Hoseok asked and Kihyun nodded. He smiled happily. “I’m glad they are.”

“It’s good they’re playing with you—especially for Jangjun! I’m not that great with physical play time and Jangjun’s so explosive but I can never keep up with him.” He laughed to himself and whispered, “I’ve never seen him do a running headbutt like that before. Did it hurt?”

Hoseok smiled and rubbed his stomach. “A little, but nothing I can’t handle.”

Kihyun reached down to touch his stomach and pat it teasingly. “I hope he didn’t hurt you too bad.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Hoseok snickered.

“And thanks for playing along,” Kihyun whispered as the boys started approaching them. “I really appreciate it.”

Hoseok only smiled in return as he put his hand back over Kihyun’s mouth. He found himself surrounded by the three kids mere seconds later. With a fake scowl on his face, Hoseok spoke, “Have you come to surrender?”

The three looked at each other and nodded and Hoseok thought all of them were so cute. Jibeom walked up solemnly.

“We’re here to surrender,” he said with a sad nod.

Kihyun pulled Hoseok’s hand away from his mouth to gasp, “Boys, no!”

Hoseok clasped his hand over Kihyun’s mouth again forcefully and shot him a dirty glance. Kihyun pretended to be afraid as Hoseok raised an eyebrow at the boys. “You’ve come to surrender?”

“Yes.” Jibeom sighed and kneeled down on the ground. He looked up with big, misty eyes. “Please give us our papa back.”

“Hmmm…” Hoseok mused, letting go of Kihyun’s waist to stroke at his invisible mustache. “If I return your papa to you… what will you do?”

“We’ll go home! And you can take over the kingdom!” Jangjun told him, gesturing to the entire park.

Hoseok raised his eyebrow at them. “And I’ll get to be king of the monkey bars?”

Jangjun gasped. “Not the monkey bars—!” Donghyun hit him in the side and he closed his mouth. Swallowing with some difficulty, Jangjun stammered, “E-Even the monkey bars!”

After a dramatic pause, Hoseok loosened his grip on Kihyun slowly. _“Alright,”_ he drawled leisurely. “You can have your papa back.” He pushed Kihyun forehead gently and almost laughed at the exaggerated way Kihyun fell onto his knees and scrambled to his kids.

Donghyun latched onto him immediately, his eyes big and large with worry even though his father was alright. Kihyun’s eyes widened dramatically as he gasped, “Boys, how could you surrender?! We never surrender! Not even when papa is in trouble!”

“We know, papa,” Jangjun told him. The smile that grew on his face was sly as he nodded pointedly at Jibeom. Jibeom nodded back and slowly stood up.

Hoseok raised an eyebrow as he took a small step backwards. “What’s going on here?” he asked as the two boys slowly closed in on him. “We made a deal! Your papa for power over the monkey bars!”

“We would never,” Jibeom announced, “make a _real_ deal with someone who stole our papa! You have to go to jail!”

“Jail?!” Hoseok gasped dramatically. “But you said—!”

“We lied!” Jangjun laughed hysterically. _“Now,_ Jibeom!”

“Lied?! Ah— _wait!”_

Hoseok could hardly keep in his laughs as the two boys pounced on him, knocking him over back onto the sand. He screamed playfully for mercy as they sat on top of him and tickled his sides. Hoseok wasn’t even that ticklish, but he was with these babies. Kihyun sat a couple feet away, his arms wrapped around Donghyun and they were both laughing as Jibeom and Jangjun sat on top of him triumphantly. Jangjun laughed at him, saying how he would never give up the monkey bars to the likes of Hoseok.

Eventually Kihyun had laughed enough and he stood up with Donghyun in his arms, asking his sons nicely to get off Hoseok so he could breathe. They did so, but when Kihyun asked them to hug Hoseok as a truce, they only complied when Hoseok admitted his defeat and relinquished all power over the monkey bars to Jangjun.

It was in that moment that Hoseok noticed just how pretty Kihyun’s smile was. Kihyun had Donghyun in one arm and the other hand by his side to hold Jangjun’s hand. He smiled down at his three boys so lovingly; his eyes formed such pretty crescents and his smile was so bright.

Suddenly, Hoseok found himself asking, “Would you guys like ice cream? There’s this shop just around the corner from here.”

Kihyun looked at him, surprise clear in his eyes. “What—?” His boys were quick to start cheering though. Kihyun gave them stern looks, “Boys, calm down. We don’t have that kind of money.” The three of them visibly deflated and Kihyun looked to Hoseok apologetically. “I’m sorry Hoseok, I’d love to but—”

“I’ll pay. For all of you.”

Kihyun’s eyebrows shot up as he vehemently denied him. “No, Hoseok, I couldn’t possibly have you pay for all of us.”

“No, don’t worry about,” Hoseok insisted. “It’s pretty hot outside today and I can’t have you walking home without some ice cream.” He grinned at them as their eyes began to brighten. “Come on Kihyun, it’ll be my treat.”

It took Kihyun a few seconds, looking back and forth between Hoseok and the pleading eyes of his three boys before he gave in with a sigh. He gave a resigned smile and replied, “Okay fine. Lead the way, Hoseok.”

Hoseok was more than happy to walk them across a few streets and to an ice cream shop he liked to go to every so often. When they crossed the street, Jibeom held onto Jangjun’s hand and also reached out to Hoseok’s with his free hand. Hoseok’s heart positively fluttered at how his small hand fit inside Hoseok’s larger one. It made him want to scoop the boy and kiss his face all over.

The ice cream parlor bell jingled brightly as they all sauntered in and Hoseok chuckled at how all of the boys’ faces lit up in excitement at the rows of ice cream underneath the glass. Kihyun set Donghyun down and told the boys to go pick what flavors they wanted and they scurried off eagerly.

“Thanks so much,” Kihyun said to Hoseok when they were alone. “The boys had a lot of fun today. You’re really good at that thing… making things up on the spot? Like with the monkey bars and stuff.”

Hoseok laughed lightly. “You mean improv?”

“Yeah, improv. Ah, well, you’re an actor, it makes sense you’re good at this.” Kihyun nodded with a chuckle. “I was amazed, Hoseok, you’re great with them.” He coughed loudly into his fist and then said, “I-I don’t know why you’d want to pay for us all but I promise I’ll pay you back eventually.”

Hoseok shook his head and replied, “No need for any I-owe-yous, Kihyun.”

“Hoseok—”

“I’m serious, I’ll cover the bill. I said to consider it my treat and I meant it.” Hoseok pat his shoulder warmly. “So don’t worry about it and let me treat the boys. They deserve some ice cream every once in a while, don’t they?”

“Of course they do,” Kihyun agreed softly as he rubbed his arm. “But I don’t want you to spend this much money on us, Hoseok.”

“Don’t worry about it, I _told_ you,” Hoseok chuckled. “This place has great ice cream for cheap, if that makes you feel any better.”

“But paying for three of them—!”

“Four.”

Kihyun blinked confusedly. “What?”

“Four,” Hoseok repeated. Then he paused. “Well, five if I count myself. But you have to get something also, Kihyun.”

With a gasp, Kihyun shook his head frantically and exclaimed, “Hoseok, no! I couldn’t!”

“Yes, you can,” he insisted as he placed a hand on Kihyun’s back to lead him up to the ice cream. “I’m pooped from playing with them this one afternoon, I can’t imagine what you have to do every day. If these three boys deserve ice cream, then certainly their pretty dad does also.”

The pretty part kind of came out as an accident, judging by how shocked Hoseok looked when it slipped so easily from his mouth. Kihyun looked stunned by the quick compliment also but then he broke out into that sparkling smile again and Hoseok felt his chest warm up. His cheeks dusted pink as he thanked Hoseok again.

And though Kihyun’s smile was pretty, Hoseok decided that his blush was much prettier. No, the way he stared at the floor with sparkles in his eyes and pink blooming on his cheeks was beautiful.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Honey, have you memorized your lines yet?”

Hoseok looked up from his dinner plate and connected gazes with his fiancée. She smiled at him and he smiled back. “Most of it. You?”

Minah said, “I’ve memorized my lines already. Luckily, there wasn’t too many. Have you been having trouble memorizing? Usually you memorize your lines quite quickly.”

“Well, I’ve memorized most of them I suppose,” Hoseok mused lightly. “I’m just having trouble really feeling Captain Hook.”

“Mm,” Minah hummed in agreement. “If you ask me, you should have gotten Peter Pan. And you were very close to getting it! I remember speaking to the casting director…” She shook her head. “Ah well. Don’t stress too much, baby, we’ve got bigger things to worry about it. Did you look over the invitation list I sent you?”

“Yes I did, and it looks great.” Hoseok smiled at her appreciatively. “You’re doing a really great job on all the wedding planning, hon. I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you very much.” Minah beamed at the compliment, very clearly happy at the words. “Also you’ve written down the date for the cake tasting, right?”

Hoseok nodded. “Mm-hm,” he sang. “I’m really excited for it!”

“Speaking of exciting…” Minah said slowly. She set down her fork and knife and waited for Hoseok to do the same and pay attention to her then said, “You know the agent I’ve been looking into for you?”

Hoseok sighed and shook his head. “Minah—”

“Just listen, Hoseok. He’s a really well renowned agent, he scouted and signed up some of the highest A-list celebrity actors today and he’s interested in _you._ Don’t you want that?”

“Minah, I’m not looking to further myself like this—”

“You’re not _looking,_ Hoseok, the opportunity is presenting itself to you!” she exclaimed. “He’s agreed to come watch you during rehearsals and to come during opening night. He’s not just any agent, Hoseok, he’s a _talent scout._ And if you’re _really_ interested in your future, you’d do your best so that he wants to sign you.” She stared him down sharply. “Not just your future, _our_ future.”

“I don’t have a say in this, do I?” Hoseok asked with a short glare. “You planned this without me knowing.”

“I have to do _a lot_ of things for you without you knowing because I know you won’t do it otherwise,” she snapped. “Honestly Hoseok, think about yourself for once!”

“Myself or _our_ selves?”

“Ourselves, _our!”_ Minah rubbed her temples and sighed. “I don’t know why you’re so insistent on not looking into agents when it’s obvious you like being center stage.”

“Minah!”

“It’s true Hoseok, everyone saw how upset you were that you weren’t Peter Pan,” she said. “And that you probably secretly want an agent to sign you into a company. I just don’t know why you don’t want to do it!”

“I’d rather be more loyal to our theater than some company!”

Minah stood up with a scoff and a roll of her eyes as she picked up her plate. “Well, your opportunity is here and all I’m asking is that you don’t screw it up.”

Hoseok grimaced, the food left on his plate suddenly unappetizing. “I’ll try,” he agreed reluctantly.

“Thank you,” Minah told him from the kitchen.

Hoseok didn’t finish his food that night, instead wrapping the leftovers and putting it into the refrigerator. He’d deal with it tomorrow.


	3. home under the ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lost boys have a home they're happy to open doors to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> u can find me on twitter @kkulseoki i usually update most of my writing stuff there if you'd like to follow  
> also i'll be making a poll regarding the update schedule of this fic so if u can swing by lol

The first rehearsal was highly anticipated still, despite Hoseok not really wanting an agent there. And also despite the fact that Hoseok still wasn’t quite feeling Captain Hook’s character. He stood up on stage in his white shirt and black jeans and he just couldn’t get into the scene. He wasn’t quite sure why he couldn’t feel his character coming through. Maybe it was because Kibum was across from him, acting as Peter Pan and he felt bitter all over again.

“Put up your swords, boys!” Kibum recited brightly as he pointed at Hoseok with a pen for a sword. “This man is mine!”

Hoseok feinted a stumble and pointed back at Kibum with his finger curled into a makeshift hook. “So, Pan, this is all _your_ doing.”

“Aye, Hook, this is all my doing!”

“Proud and insolent youth,” Hoseok growled as he took a strong step forward. “Prepare to meet thy doom!”

“Dark and sinister man! Have at thee!”

They engaged in an invisible sword fight and Hoseok felt silly. It felt like something he was supposed to be doing with Kihyun and his boys, not up on the empty stage with cast and crew watching.

That particular scene ended and the director stood up with a clap of his hands. “Great work, you two. And excellent work, Hoseok, you did great!” As everyone started mulling about, the director announced, “I would like to introduce you all to someone! I don’t know if you heard, but we do have a talent scout joining us.”

A murmur broke out between the cast and crew and Hoseok shifted his weight uncomfortably on stage. He looked over to the wings, where Jooheon was standing, and shared a glance with him. Jooheon could only give him a shrug and mouth some encouraging words in his direction.

“He’s here to watch a few… select members of our company, but he has assured me that if there are any other standout actors, he would be willing to look at them also. So do your best everyone! Now if you’d all turn your attention to the man next to me, please welcome Chae Hyungwon.” The director gestured to the tall man who stood up from the seat beside him.

Everyone seemed to gasp at his presence and Hoseok could understand why. Chae Hyungwon was well known already as a director and talent scout, and having him here meant big things for whoever he decided to sign to his company. And aside from him being a great connection, he was also quite tall and handsome. Under any other circumstance, Hoseok would have felt starstruck, maybe. But at the moment, he didn’t like Chae Hyungwon’s presence here at all.

“Thank you for welcoming me.” Hyungwon smiled at everybody warmly.

“How do you think that rehearsal was, Mr. Chae?” the director asked. “We’d love any input you have to offer.”

Hyungwon raised an eyebrow and Hoseok could feel his gaze attach to him. “Who are the two up on stage?”

“Kibum and Hoseok,” the director supplied and Hyungwon nodded his head in recognition. He had come to see Hoseok, after all. “They’re doing a wonderful job so far, don’t you think?”

Hyungwon pursed his lips. “Well, I believe that’s up for debate. Do you mind if I… say some words?”

“Oh, of course not, please say anything you like.”

“Thank you.” Hyungwon peered sharply at the two actors on stage in a quiet pause before finally speaking, “The man playing Peter Pan—you’re okay. You fit the look and the attitude all right but you’re missing the boyishness and immaturity that makes Peter a child. You need to be more exuberant but still keep the mischief. You’re not doing that right now.”

Kibum’s face fell and Hoseok snickered. He knew Kibum shouldn’t have gotten that role.

“And _you,”_ Hyungwon continued, focusing his gaze on Hoseok. “You’re Captain Hook, a dastardly, good-for-nothing scoundrel who’s chasing after Lost Boys and Peter Pan because? Because _why?”_ he asked.

Hoseok cleared his throat as he felt everyone’s eyes zero in on him. “Because… they cut off his hand and fed it to a crocodile.”

 _“Precisely._ So tell me why _your_ version of Captain Hook is a deadbeat pirate who looks like he wants to die.”

Hoseok felt his face flush in embarrassment as he stared own at his shoes. “Oh…” he mumbled. “Well, James Hook is a villain. He’s the opposite of Peter Pan so I thought—”

“You thought the opposite of Peter Pan was somebody serious and dramatic?”

Hoseok swallowed. For the first time in his life, he felt somewhat threatened. He nodded towards the agent who clicked his tongue and scanned Hoseok over.

“I see…” he muttered. “Hook is a villain, but he’s still a children’s villain. Try to keep that in mind.” Hyungwon scanned the room, seemingly unimpressed. “You know, I came here expecting much more out of the cast. But I see my expectations aren’t… _quite_ being met yet. It _is_ only the first rehearsal though, so you all have plenty of time. I’m hoping that by the time of opening night, my expectations will have been exceeded. And if any of you plan on getting signed,” he looked directly at Hoseok, his gaze hard and unwavering, “then I suggest you step up your game.”

  
  
  
  


 

 

“Who does that pompous, son of a jerk think he is?” Hoseok grumbled under his breath.

Jooheon cast him a sympathetic look as turned down the music in Hoseok’s car. “A talent scout?” He chuckled at the dirty look Hoseok gave him. “I’m sorry you got chewed out like that in front of everyone though.”

Hoseok frowned as he stopped at a red light. _“A deadbeat pirate?”_ he repeated, feeling offended. “You don’t think my performance at rehearsal today was that abysmal, do you?”

As they pulled away from the light, Jooheon shrugged cautiously. “I mean,” he started slowly, “I’ve seen you do better, is all I’m going to say about it.”

“You agree with him?!”

“Well, he’s a talent scout for a _reason,_ Hoseok, he knows a good performance when he sees one. I would take his criticism if I were you.” Hoseok bit back a scoff and Jooheon sighed. “I don’t know why you’re deciding your above his critiques.”

“I’m not!”

“Hoseok, I’m your friend, and I want to be honest with you,” Jooheon told him earnestly. “And while your Captain Hook back there was much—and I mean _much_ —better than what we practiced over the phone the past few weeks, it’s still got a long way to go. At least, for one of the lead roles, it does.”

Hoseok breathed out slowly from his nose as he pulled up to Jooheon’s house. “Yeah… yeah, you’re right.” He sniffed and parked his car. It was quiet between them for a moment, Hoseok’s head stuck in thought as Jooheon sat next to his silently. Jooheon moved to get out of his seat when Hoseok stopped him suddenly. “Uh, Jooheon? How would you…? I mean, how do you suggest I go about doing Captain Hook?”

Jooheon’s eyes widened as he unseatbelted himself. “You’re asking for my advice?”

“Kind of, yeah.”

“...Well, Hyungwon said Captain Hook is a children’s villain.”

Hoseok nodded. “That’s what I took into account! I’m probably not scary enough for kids.”

Jooheon pursed his lips in thought. “I don’t think you should be scaring kids, per se. Hook’s a children’s _villain,_ not monster. I think you should try to make kids actively want beat you up. They’ll already root for Peter Pan because he’s the protagonist, but make them want _Hook_ to fail as opposed to just making them want Peter Pan to _defeat_ Hook. Make sense?”

Hoseok blinked. “So what then, I become a boring, adult businessman version of Hook so kids will hate me?”

“That’s one way to go about it.” Jooheon snickered as he opened the door of the car. “But he’s still a pirate.”

“Hm.” Hoseok started thinking so hard about it, he was sure Jooheon could hear the wheels in his head turning.

Jooheon laughed at him as he stepped out. “Anyways, thanks for driving me home. I’ll see you at the next rehearsal?”

“Yeah. See you then.” Hoseok nodded at him and Jooheon jogged off to his home. He made sure Jooheon was safe inside his house before driving off.

The agent’s words still kind of bothered Hoseok as he drove through the streets. Having his acting called out kind of put him in a bad mood for the rest of the day and Minah tried to comfort him during rehearsal but he wasn’t really responding to her. In hindsight he felt a little bad for ignoring his fiancée, but he was too wrapped up in his own self pity to pay attention to her. She messaged him as he had driven Jooheon home, saying she would make dinner for them when he got home. He didn’t respond to it though.

Hoseok figured it would be best to go somewhere to relax before heading home so that he wouldn’t feel the want to snap at Minah the whole night. He originally wanted to go get some food and eat in a cafe but instead he found himself driving to the park he had been familiarizing himself as of late.

Hoseok walked through the park sidewalks calmly, running a hand through his hair as he relaxed in the breeze of dusk. Maybe he needed to step up his game, like Chae Hyungwon said. Although, he didn’t really see anything wrong with his acting and he wasn’t planning to reshape his view of Captain Hook. But if Chae Hyungwon was going to come in and berate him in front of the company, then maybe he didn’t have a choice. He didn’t even care about the impending agency contract that much—it was a matter of pride at this point. Hoseok knew he was a good actor, and he was going to make sure Chae Hyungwon saw that.

With a deep breath and a long exhale, Hoseok cleared his head. He wouldn’t be able fix his act if he was angry about it all the time. And if he were honest, the reason he came to the park to relax was because of a certain family that made him feel like he was floating every time he was with them.

And luckily for him, they were there.

“Mr. Hoseok!”

“Ah, Donghyun!” Hoseok grinned and waved at him.

Donghyun and Jibeom were playing on the monkey bars as they waved back. Hoseok walked over with a bright smile, feeling his head already getting lighter just by being near them. He looked around. “Where’s your dad?”

“He went to the bathroom,” Jibeom told him, hanging upside down by his knees. “Because Jangjun had to use the potty.”

Hoseok chuckled as Donghyun hopped off the monkey bars to hug him. “How are you doing, Donghyun?” he asked as he knelt down to receive his hug.

“Good!” Donghyun smiled at him sweetly. “Thank you for the ice cream last time.”

“Anytime,” Hoseok replied with a grin of his own and he pat Donghyun’s hair warmly.

Donghyun’s eyes lit up. “Really?! Anytime?!”

“Well, anytime your _papa_ says it’s okay.”

“Oh,” Donghyun’s face fell and he pouted. “Papa doesn’t say okay very often.”

Hoseok stroked his cheeks and told him, “I’ll try to make your papa say yes more. Okay?”

Donghyun nodded, his eyes turning into small crescents as he smiled. “Okay!”

Hoseok thought Donghyun was the cutest boy in the entire world. He had a smile that was similar to Kihyun’s—bright and sparkly and full of light. Hoseok held his arms out for another hug and Donghyun threw his small arms around his neck to embrace him tightly.

“You’re so cute!” Hoseok exclaimed, squeezing him tighter and swaying with him. “Can I take you home with me, Donghyun?”

Donghyun giggled as he shook his head. “I can’t, I have to go home with my family!”

Hoseok pouted. “No? You don’t want to come live with me?”

“No!” Donghyun squealed as he squirmed in Hoseok’s arms. Hoseok laughed as he kept a firm hold and Donghyun wiggled uncontrollably. “I have to live with my papa!”

“I’ll kidnap you next!” Hoseok warned playfully. “And then I’ll keep you in my house and give you ice cream all the time and your papa will have to look for you.”

“Papa will find me! He always finds me!”

Hoseok brushed Donghyun’s bangs out of his forehead and was going to speak again when a sudden thump and cry caught their attention. Hoseok looked over and saw Jibeom laying flat on his face, tanbark littering the front of his chest as he sat up.

“Jibeom!” Hoseok gasped, holding Donghyun’s hand as he rushed over.

His eyes were wide with shock but after a few moments, Jibeom’s eyes became misty and his mouth curled into a pout as he whimpered and began to cry. Hoseok knelt next to him on the tanbark and touched him gingerly. Donghyun squat next to his brother and asked him in a small voice if he was okay.

“Jibeom, what happened?”

“I-I slipped,” Jibeom answered as he rubbed at his eyes. “I slipped a-and I fell.”

Hoseok’s eyebrows raised in concern as he felt Jibeom for injuries. “You fell all the way off the monkey bars?”

“Mm-mm,” Jibeom whined and shook his head. “I-I fell off when I went d-down the ladder,” he hiccuped.

Donghyun frowned sadly as he looked at his brother. “Does it hurt anywhere?” he asked. Jibeom shook his head again and Donghyun wrapped his arms around him securely.

“Oh my god, Jibeom!”

They all looked over and saw Kihyun jogging towards them with Jangjun holding his hand. Jangjun let go of his father’s hand to sprint over to where Jibeom sat crying and clutched his face. He wiped his brother’s tears away with wide eyes.

“Jibeom!” he exclaimed. “What happened?!”

“I fell,” Jibeom said, calmer. He sniffed as he wiped his cheeks again. “But I’m okay.”

Jangjun leaned over and kissed his brother on the forehead. “Are you sure?”

Jibeom nodded as Jangjun held his hand. “I-I think so.”

“Jibeom!” Kihyun finally arrived, kneeling down in the tanbark to look at Jibeom’s body. “Oh, baby, are you okay?! What happened?” he asked to Hoseok.

“He slipped and fell off the ladder,” Hoseok told him and Kihyun pouted sympathetically.

“Oh, Jibeom,” he sighed, “be more careful next time, okay? Look at how you scraped your knee,” he said, examining the red skin with worry. “We should go home and clean this before it gets infected. Can you stand, baby?”

Jibeom held his brothers’ hands and stood up experimentally, teetering slightly. Kihyun’s face twisted into concern when Jibeom limped a few steps forward.

“Does it hurt?” Jangjun asked tensely.

“A little…?” Jibeom answered softly. He winced as he took another step. “Okay… more than a little.”

Kihyun bit his lip as he let out a deep sigh. “You might have sprained your ankle,” he muttered softly.

“I can carry him, papa,” Jangjun offered, looking up to his father.

“It’s alright, Jangjun, if we need to carry him home, I can do it.”

Hoseok piped up, “Kihyun, my car is right here. I can give you guys a ride home if you want.”

Kihyun looked over to Hoseok and asked, “Are you sure? I would really appreciate it but if you need to be somewhere, we only live a few blocks away so—”

“It’s not a burden or anything, Kihyun. Come on, I can carry Jibeom to my car and you can give me directions.” Kihyun looked like he was ready to protest again and Hoseok hushed him before he could. “You won’t owe me anything, Kihyun, just let me help out.”

Kihyun frowned as Hoseok asked if Jibeom wanted to get on his back and Jibeom nodded. He crawled onto his back carefully and Hoseok held him safely. “Really Hoseok,” Kihyun said, “I can call someone who can get here soon. The sun is about to set, you’re probably heading home and—”

“If you live nearby then it’s no problem whatsoever,” Hoseok told him. Jibeom wrapped his arms around Hoseok’s neck and nodded at his dad reassuringly.

Kihyun looked reluctant still. But after a few seconds, he took Donghyun and Jangjun by their hands and followed Hoseok to his car.

  
  


When Hoseok arrived at Kihyun’s house, he wasn’t really expecting someone else to be opening the door for them. Much less, another man that seemed to be around Kihyun’s age. He looked concerned for the small family as they walked into the household, his eyebrows furrowed as he ran a hand through his dark hair.

“Kihyun!” he exclaimed. “I told you guys to wait for dinner instead of going to the park! I was going to be back from the grocery store in, like, fifteen minutes! And then you were all gone!”

Kihyun smiled sheepishly as he lead his boys inside and made way for Hoseok who carried Jibeom on his back again. “Sorry,” he apologized. “They started getting restless and we hadn’t gone out to the park all day.”

The man sighed in resignation before spotting Hoseok. His eyebrows furrowed slightly as he asked, “...Who’s this?”

“This is Mr. Hoseok!” Donghyun explained. “He bought us ice cream last time!”

“Oh, this is him? You’re Hoseok?” Hoseok nodded with a smile and the other man nodded slowly. He side-eyed Kihyun meaningfully and Kihyun warned him back with his eyes. He looked relieved that Hoseok hadn’t caught their small exchange. “Mm-hm…” he hummed to himself. “It’s nice to finally meet you. My name is Minhyuk.”

“Minhyuk?” Hoseok repeated with polite interest and the other nodded. “It’s nice to meet you as well.”

“Minhyuk, can you go give Donghyun a bath? I’m sure he’ll fall asleep as soon as dinner is done and I don’t want him to stay dirty from the park.” Minhyuk raised an eyebrow and replied with an okay, giving him more meaningful looks as he began to walk away. Kihyun pursed his lips at Minhyuk, murmuring at him to behave as he turned his attention back to Hoseok. “Let’s go to the kitchen, I’m sure my disinfectant is somewhere in there.”

They sat Jibeom down on a chair, Hoseok wiping the last of his wet cheeks away as Kihyun grabbed some cotton swabs and peroxide. Jibeom’s face immediately fell as he saw the equipment and his eyes got wet again.

“Papa, no,” he begged, shrinking away. “It’s going to hurt, _no.”_

Kihyun gave him a stern look as he knelt down in front of him. “Jibeom, if you don’t clean it, your knee could get more hurt. And you don’t want that to happen, do you?”

“No, but—”

“No buts, baby, we have to clean it.” Kihyun wet one of the cotton swabs and asked Hoseok to hold Jibeom still as he cleaned his scrapes.

Jibeom squirmed uncomfortably, holding onto Hoseok’s hands as he bit his lip. His eyes got misty as the peroxide stung his skin but Kihyun kept him calm with soothing words and complimented him on how well he was doing. He asked him to tell Hoseok about the new adventures he went on in the park today and Jibeom just about talked Hoseok’s ear off. Kihyun finished with some bandaids and some wrap around Jibeom’s sprained ankle.

“Good job, baby,” he said as he stood up and kissed his forehead. “You can go sit at the table, okay? You don’t need to help set it tonight.”

Jibeom stood up from his seat carefully and slowly made his way over to the dinner table to sit. Kihyun straightened as he watched him go, smiling softly. Jangjun reappeared energetically, hopping up on a seat next to Jibeom and laying an armful of toy cars onto the table. He handed all sorts of cars to Jibeom and held his hand tightly as they played on the table.

“You’re a great parent,” Hoseok told him under his breath.

Kihyun flushed at the compliment and said, “I’m not a great parent. I’m just good enough for them.”

Hoseok shook his head as he followed Kihyun to a cabinet. “No, you’re great. Look at how much they all love each other. I’ve never seen a brother who doted on his baby brother the way Jangjun does. He’s going to grow up into a great boy.”

Kihyun grabbed some mismatched tableware and smiled crookedly. “Well, Jangjun… Jangjun has his reasons.” He looked at the way Hoseok’s eyebrows scrunched in confusion and let out a small sigh. Then in a whisper, he said, “Jangjun is adopted.”

Hoseok had to feign shock so that Kihyun wouldn’t think he knew that beforehand. “He is?”

“Yeah. They all are, actually.” Kihyun looked down as his hands paused over some bowls. “I had Jibeom first and then Jangjun came second. Before I adopted Jangjun, he… he had been moved around a lot in the foster care system. And I don’t know if you know, but kids in the foster care systems sometimes have a hard time.” He made a gesture with his head towards Jangjun in the other room. “Jangjun was one of those kids.”

“Oh,” Hoseok murmured softly.

Kihyun smiled a little sadly as he continued gathering table cutlery. “Mm-hm. He went through so many households where he was neglected that it was almost impossible to get him to open up when I adopted him.” He nodded towards Jangjun again and said, “He’s the most protective out of the brothers. He’s the most playful but I can see that he’s the one who loves our little family the most. Even of me, he’s protective,” he chuckled.

Hoseok laughed lightly at the thought. “He is?”

With a nod, Kihyun said, “I once tripped and he wouldn’t leave me alone for the rest of the day. Jangjun has come a long way since he became part of the family.” Kihyun paused and broke out into a grin. “He’s my strong little trooper.”

It was quiet between them, Hoseok staring at the way Kihyun’s gaze flickered with a bittersweet warmth. He placed a comforting hand on Kihyun’s shoulder and softly said, “You do a great job, Kihyun. Anyone can tell by looking at any of your sons.”

Kihyun’s cheeks flushed with pink and he smiled bashfully. “Thanks,” he murmured under his breath.

The atmosphere was warm and maybe a little more intimate than Hoseok planned. He swallowed, meaning to say something more but he couldn’t think of anything to say. If he wanted to say something, he couldn’t though, because Minhyuk came bounding into kitchen at that moment and Hoseok quickly retracted his hand from Kihyun’s shoulder.

 _“Hey_ there,” Minhyuk drawled, looking between the both of them. He was holding Donghyun in his arms and Donghyun was still damp from his bath. He wore a fresh pair of pajamas and a towel was still draped over his body.

Hoseok cleared his throat. “Hi.” Then to Donghyun he grinned and waved. Donghyun waved back excitedly as he hugged at the towel around his body.

“Minhyuk, his hair is still dripping everywhere!” Kihyun exclaimed, setting down some utensils and taking Donghyun into his arms. “He’ll get sick at this rate.”

Minhyuk huffed, placing his hands on his hips. “Well, he wouldn’t get sick if you didn’t go out into the park this late into the day! The air is so cold at this time of day, Kihyun, and you went without a jacket.”

“I’m fine, Minhyuk,” Kihyun insisted. “Can you set the table for me?” He set Donghyun down on the counter and began drying his hair with a towel. Kihyun made silly faces at Donghyun while rubbing his hair with the towel and Donghyun laughed every time.

Minhyuk rolled his eyes but smiled warmly. “How many do we need?”

“The usual,” Kihyun replied without looking at him.

“The usual?” Minhyuk raised an eyebrow as he pointed at Hoseok. “You mean he’s not staying for dinner?”

Kihyun looked over his shoulder with eyes wide with slight surprise. “Oh—no, I’m sure Hoseok has somewhere to be. Don’t you?”

Hoseok shrugged. “Not really.”

Donghyun’s eyes lit up as he swung his feet excitedly. “Papa, can Mr. Hoseok stay for dinner?!”

Minhyuk nodded as he made a pile of plates on the counter. “He should stay. There’s enough dinner for an extra mouth, so that’s not a problem.”

“Oh, yes, can he stay please?!” Donghyun squeaked.

Kihyun looked back and forth between Minhyuk and Donghyun, who was nodding excitedly underneath his towel. Kihyun sighed and smiled as he took the towel off of Donghyun’s head and pat his wet hair. “Well, it’s up to Mr. Hoseok whether he wants to stay or not.”

Hoseok felt all of their gazes land on him but he had already made his mind up. With a smile he said, “I’d really love to stay for dinner if that happens to be okay with you guys.”

“It’s more than alright. Right, Kihyun?” Minhyuk told him as he nudged Kihyun’s side. Kihyun smacked him away and Minhyuk snickered. He turned to Hoseok and handed him some bowls. “Help me set the table?”

“Oh, of course,” Hoseok replied as he followed him.

Jibeom and Jangjun looked up when they saw the two adults enter the dining room. Jibeom’s face broke into a wide grin as he saw Hoseok.

“You’re staying for dinner?!”

Hoseok smiled at him, setting down the bowls to ruffle his hair. “Yes, I am.”

Jibeom hopped in his seat enthusiastically. “Yay!” he cheered. “Will you sit next to me?”

“I would love to,” Hoseok replied as he set a bowl at every spot on the table. “Are you going to feed me good food?”

“Yes! Minhyuk’s cooking is the best!” Jibeom stopped himself and and looked up in thought. “Well… Papa’s cooking is the best. Minhyuk’s is second best.”

Minhyuk scrunched his nose as he smiled at Jibeom. “Thank you, Jibeom. I think your papa’s cooking is better too. Jangjun, can you get the toys off the table please? It’s time to eat.”

Jangjun nodded. “Yes, Minhyuk.” And he gathered all the toys in his arms and bounded out of the room.

As Hoseok finished setting bowls, he took the seat next to Jibeom, asking him how his ankle was. Jibeom nodded and said his ankle was doing good. He watched Minhyuk finish setting the plates and utensils, a keen eye wary of all his movements.

“So,” Hoseok said, “do you… live here? Minhyuk?”

Minhyuk looked at him strangely for only a brief second before looking back at what he was doing. “Sort of,” he replied. “I do have my own place but I tend to stay here more often than not.”

“Papa says that Minhyuk’s basically moved in with us already,” Jangjun said as he hopped onto the chair across from Hoseok. “Minhyuk takes care of us like papa does.”

“Does he?” Hoseok asked, eyeing how Minhyuk grinned at Jangjun’s statement. “That’s really nice.”

Jibeom nodded. “Papa says that Minhyuk is here to take care of papa also. Because sometimes papa forgets.”

Hoseok’s eyebrows shot up at the admission and he couldn’t help but wonder what exactly their relationship was. Because from what he was hearing, it sounded like Minhyuk was more than someone who just cooked dinner for them from time to time.

“Okay boys, that’s enough,” Minhyuk cuts in, giving them both funny glances as he goes to the kitchen to bring out some big plates of food. “You’re going to give Mr. Hoseok here the wrong idea.”

Hoseok looked at Minhyuk in surprise, certainly not expecting the wink Minhyuk sent him. “I’m sorry, what idea—?”

“Kihyun and I aren’t a couple.” Minhyuk shrugged. “If that’s what you were wondering.”

“I-I wasn’t,” Hoseok said quickly, not allowing the blush creeping on his cheeks to show.

“Okay.” Minhyuk smiled and left it at that. “Well, in that case—”

“Minhyuk!” Kihyun admonished loudly as he entered the small dining room with Donghyun in his arms. “I told you to behave yourself.”

“I _am_ behaving!” Minhyuk exclaimed, sitting down next to Jangjun.

Kihyun rolled his eyes as he sat down next to Hoseok with Donghyun in his arms. “You’re not and you _know_ you’re not.” Minhyuk smiled cheekily and Kihyun sighed. “Honestly, if you looked younger, Hoseok would probably just think you’re another one of my sons.”

Minhyuk snickered as he started to spoon food onto the kids’ plates. “Hey, who knows, I could be.”

Hoseok smiled at the light conversation that they all seemed to get into. And although he was a stranger in this household, he couldn’t have felt more welcomed. Jibeom kept speaking with him, telling him all sorts of things about his toys and his hobbies and Jangjun interjected every so often with comments of his own. Kihyun held Donghyun in his lap as he fed him, listening intently to the excited stories Jibeom and Jangjun told Hoseok. Minhyuk was relatively quiet throughout dinner, reaching over every so often to wipe Donghyun’s cheek or to softly ask Kihyun questions that Hoseok couldn’t hear.

And even though Jibeom and Jangjun were talking at him so quickly he could barely keep up, he never failed to sneak glances at Kihyun. Kihyun paid attention to his boys as he fed Donghyun with one hand. He chuckled at all the appropriate times and with his other free hand, he had it looped around Donghyun securely, trying to keep him still. It wasn’t until Hoseok heard Kihyun’s stomach rumble that he spoke up.

“Kihyun, why don’t I hold Donghyun for a bit?” he said suddenly. The looks Kihyun and Minhyuk gave him were mirror images of shock and Hoseok laughed at them. Everyone always seemed so surprised at him lately. “You haven’t eaten yet,” he explained. “I can hold Donghyun so you can eat.”

“Oh, I—”

Hoseok didn’t wait for an answer this time and instead reached out for Donghyun who transferred into his arms happily. Hoseok hugged him close, Donghyun’s damp hair tickling his cheeks as he snuggled into Hoseok’s arms.

“Go ahead and eat, Kihyun,” Hoseok told him. “I’m sure you’re hungry.”

Kihyun didn’t have a chance to protest before Minhyuk was making a plate of food and setting it down in front of him. Minhyuk smiled at him. “Mr. Hoseok here is right. You gotta eat, Ki.”

“It’s fine, I’m really not that hungry. I can eat after the boys go to bed—”

“And ruin your eating schedule? I won’t hear of it.”

Hoseok urged him lightly with a nod. “I don’t know where you’re going to get the energy to keep up with your kids if you don’t eat.”

Kihyun sighed at the both of them as he picked up his own utensils and started eating. Minhyuk was all too happy with it, patting his back and cooing at him like he was a baby. It made Hoseok laugh and he realized—he wouldn’t really mind a setting like this for the rest of his life. The atmosphere was warm and homely and there was such lightness in the air. Donghyun was already drowsily dozing off in his arms, his small head nestled between Hoseok’s chest and chin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love these boys too but hoseok whatre u doing m8


	4. live by the hook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hook is a way of life.

After dinner, Hoseok had stayed a little longer, cradling Donghyun on his chest as Jibeom and Jangjun talked to him until they got sleepy also. He hadn’t meant to stay so late, but he only left after all the boys had fallen asleep watching cartoons on the couch. Kihyun had thanked him and told him that they’d love to have him over for dinner again in the future. Hoseok left feeling full and happy inside.

When Hoseok went back to his home later that night, he was met with Minah sitting on the sofa, staring at him intently. Hoseok smiled at her warmly as he took off his shoes.

“Hey,” she murmured.

“Hey,” he replied softly.

Minah looked at him carefully and stood up. “Did you go somewhere?”

“Hm?” Hoseok looked up. “Yeah,” he nodded. “I had dinner with some friends.”

“Oh, you did? Did you… get my text earlier?” Minah asked.

“What text?”

“Well, you looked a little upset at rehearsal earlier so I thought I would make dinner,” Minah told him. “And we could eat together while discussing more things for the wedding.”

Hoseok vaguely remembered receiving that text and ignoring it. But instead he just said, “I guess I missed it.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Sorry honey. Next time, though?” Hoseok smiled at her and she sighed, pulling a weak smile of her own.

“Next time,” she agreed. “There are leftovers in the fridge if you want some tomorrow.”

Hoseok nodded at her as he began walking to their bedroom. “Thanks, Minah, I’ll pack it for lunch or something.”

“Are you going to bed now?” she asked.

“Yeah, I am. Are you?”

Minah shook her head, shuffling to their kitchen and saying, “No, I think I’m going to be up a little late working on some details. Our invitations finally arrived and I need to count some to hand out to the company next rehearsal.”

Hoseok suddenly stopped in his tracks, his head lighting up with an idea. “Oh! That reminds me! Do we have any room left on the guest list?”

Minah looked at him strangely as she leaned on the countertop. “I think so? Why—did we forget to invite someone?”

“Not exactly,” Hoseok replied, shedding his jacket. “I have some people I’d like to invite. They’re a small family that I got to know lately. Is that okay with you?”

Minah paused to look at him for a few moments, her eyes seemingly lost in thought as she stared at her fiance. Then after a moment she said, “Yeah, I’ve got a few extra invitations. I can add their address to the list—”

“Actually, I can deliver it to them myself,” Hoseok said quickly. “I’ll hand deliver theirs. I mean that’s fine since we’re hand delivering everyone in the theatre’s, right?”

“...Yeah, that’s fine,” Minah said.

Hoseok smiled at her and then disappeared down the hall. “Good night!”

“Night.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Okay, spill.” Minhyuk sat down at the dining table, now empty that the boys were asleep and Hoseok had left. He handed a mug of hot tea to Kihyun who took it gratefully.

“Spill what?” Kihyun asked dumbly.

Minhyuk rolled his eyes and said, “Spill about Hoseok. No one meets some family randomly at the park and then keeps meeting them on coincidence. Buying you ice cream and driving you home? And then staying for dinner? Give me details, Kihyun.”

Kihyun smiled into his mug as a blush softened his cheeks. “There’s not much to say, Minhyuk. Hoseok’s just a really nice guy. And he loves the boys so how can I not like him?”

Minhyuk gasped. “You like him!”

“Wait, no, that’s not what I meant—”

But Minhyuk just threw his arms around Kihyun, nearly knocking the tea from his hands as he grinned widely. “Kihyun, you like someone! Oh, I’m so happy for you!”

“Minhyuk,” he wheezed. “I don’t like him, I just—”

“Kihyun, please. I can _see_ the way you look at him.” Minhyuk raised an eyebrow as Kihyun blushed some more. “It’s not hard to catch.”

Kihyun looked away and coughed, concern flitting briefly on Minhyuk’s face before Kihyun assured him he was fine. Then clearing his throat, he croaked, “Minhyuk, I can’t like him. Well… maybe I can, but he can’t like me back. I’ve got so much… _baggage.”_

Minhyuk frowned. “Don’t you ever say that. Hoseok is a very nice man, like you said. I could see that just from dinner today and he adores the boys. What else could you possibly want?”

“I don’t know, I just… I feel… you know, I don’t know how to feel.” Kihyun sighed. “I think I’m starting to like him, Minhyuk, I really do. He’s…. He’s _wonderful.”_ His eyes lit up at the thought as he continued, “I’ve never met someone who’s so attentive and caring and so willing to go out of his way to help me. And handsome, at that.”

Minhyuk smiled at him knowingly. “I know. The way you talked about him when you came back from the park all those times let me know everything I needed to know. Honestly, Kihyun, I think you should go for it. You should have a shot at romance too.”

“I did have a shot, remember?”

“Yeah, except that shot is in Europe.”

 _“Minhyuk,”_ Kihyun admonished. He didn’t look upset though. Not with the thought of Hoseok floating around in his head. He stared down into his tea with a soft smile. “But do you think it’s okay if I like him?”

Minhyuk smiled at him and then brought him into a softer, gentler hug. “Of course it’s okay, Kihyun. And if you ask me,” he said in a whisper, “I think he likes you too.”

Kihyun’s eyes immediately brightened and sparkled and Minhyuk smiled at him as he softly asked, “You think so?”

“Yeah! Here’s what you’re going to do. See him a couple more times with the boys and then invite him over for dinner again. And then maybe ask him to catch a movie or dinner for just the two of you.”

Kihyun blushed at the thought as he looked at Minhyuk earnestly. “You think… you think he’ll say yes?”

“I don’t see why a smart man like Hoseok would pass on dating the greatest guy I know.”

“Minhyuk, you barely know Hoseok.”

Minhyuk just rolled his eyes as he rubbed Kihyun’s shoulder comfortingly. “But you’ll ask him out, won’t you? Or at least tell him that you like him. I think it’s a good time.”

Kihyun bit his lip to conceal the grin that was about to break his face. “I’ll think about it,” he whispered.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Jangjun, take my hand when you're crossing the street!”

Jangjun pouted as he ran a few feet back to grab Minhyuk's hand. “But you walk so slow!”

“We have to stay with your dad and your brothers,” Minhyuk replied. He looked to Kihyun who had his arms full with Donghyun already. “Does he always run this quickly?”

Kihyun smiled and sighed. “I tell him to hold Jibeom’s hand but sometimes he just takes off.”

Minhyuk looked down at Jangjun and scrunched his nose. “Wild child,” he teased.

“What!” Jangjun’s jaw dropped. “I’m not!”

“You are!” Minhyuk said with a grin.

Kihyun chuckled at them as they finally walked into the park. Jangjun bolted off to the monkey bars and Kihyun set Donghyun down so that he and Jibeom could go on the slide together.

“I don’t get how you take them to the park by yourself every day lately,” Minhyuk huffed, his hands on his hips.

Kihyun chuckled. “Me neither, I guess. Although I suppose it's been easier lately.”

“I wonder why,” Minhyuk teased in a sing-songy voice. “Maybe there's someone you want to keep seeing?”

“Stop that,” Kihyun hissed. He looked around despite knowing Hoseok wasn't there. “Honestly, why do you insist to constantly talk about how I kind of like him?” He narrowed his eyes at Minhyuk’s chuckling. “Especially when he’s near!”

Minhyuk rolled his eyes and said, “He’s only been over for dinner like... three times, it’s not _that_ bad, Kihyun.”

But Kihyun frowned anyways. “Stop it, Minhyuk, he’ll figure it out if you keep nudging me around him like you do.”

“Is that even a bad thing? He’s going to have to know at some point.” Minhyuk crossed his arms. “You shouldn’t let this sit for so long.”

“I know,” Kihyun replied, wringing his fingers nervously as he kept an eye on his sons. “I just... I’d like to do it when the time is right. And on my own terms. Is that okay?”

Minhyuk smiled softly at him, bringing his arms around him to hug him lightly. “Of course that’s okay. Take all the time you need.”

Kihyun grinned. “Thanks. Maybe I should... ask him out for coffee or something? You’re right—he’s been over quite a few times and I think... I think maybe I should ask him to do something together. By ourselves." He smiled as the sound of his sons’ laughter floated towards them. "Without my boys, as much as I love them," he chuckled.

“I think that would be good.” Minhyuk nodded. “I’m sure Hoseok would like that.”

“Me too.” Kihyun smiled softly to himself. “I would really like that. Maybe I’ll ask him the next time he comes over.”

He hugged his arms to himself when he heard his boys let out loud yells of excitement and looked up in time to find them running off the jungle gym to run towards the very man he was speaking of. Hoseok walked towards the boys, strong and bright and with the biggest smile as he opened his arms for them to jump in.

“Speak of the devil,” Minhyuk snickered behind his palm. He elbowed Kihyun. “Are you inviting him to dinner tonight?”

Kihyun swatted him away and hissed, “I’m not going to _make_ him come over tonight, Minhyuk. It all depends on if he wants to.”

“Whatever you say,” Minhyuk sang. His phone beeped and he fished it out of his pocket, glancing at the alert on his screen. “Oh, I have to go pick up your meds.”

“Did I run out already?”

“Nearly—so I ordered a refill for you.” Minhyuk slipped it back into his pocket. “I’m going to go pick it up, okay? The pharmacy is only a block or so from here.”

“Are you sure?” Kihyun asked. “We can wait and then drive later.”

Minhyuk smiled with a shake of his head. “No, it’s alright. I’ll be quick and come right back. And maybe you can, you know, invite someone to dinner during that time?”

Kihyun smacked him and Minhyuk laughed loudly as he sauntered away. “Stop saying that! He’ll hear you.”

Minhyuk winked. “I’m just saying! Anyways, see you in a bit!”

“See you,” Kihyun grumbled softly as Minhyuk walked off. With Minhyuk gone, he made his way over to Hoseok and the boys, his face pulling into a smile as he approached.

“Hey there.” Hoseok grinned up at him.

Kihyun smiled. “Hi. Did you have rehearsal again today?”

Hoseok put Jibeom down and stood to regard Kihyun happily. “Yeah. It was alright. Mr. Agent wasn’t as terrible as normal today so I’m in a pretty good mood.”

“That’s good.” Kihyun felt his heart lighten at the way Hoseok grinned at him. It would have been nice to feel that way for a bit longer but Jangjun ran up and circled his arms as far as they could around Kihyun’s waist. “Jangjun—!”

“Careful, papa!” he yelled. “Or the pirate captain is going to capture you again.”

“Oh—”

Hoseok’s smile curled into that of a playful villain, kneeling down immediately to poke Jangjun’s sides. “It’s Captain Hook to you, you barnacle!”

Jangjun let out a screechy laugh as he let go of Kihyun to defend himself from Hoseok. “Run, papa, run! Take Jibeom and Donghyun with you!”

Kihyun laughed as his two smallest boys took his hands and ran as fast as their tiny legs could carry them into the dim mouth of a tube slide. They crawled in first before pulling Kihyun in also. Kihyun was a little too large to fit in the hole like they did, so he sat with the lower half of his body sticking out of the slide.

“Boys!” he whispered urgently. “How are we going to save your brother?! Mr. Hoseok has him captive!”

Jibeom narrowed his eyes into the wall of the slide tube. “That dastardly pirate…”

Kihyun blinked, taken slightly back. “Jibeom, where did you learn that word—”

“Jangjun will find his way back to us!” Donghyun said matter-of-factly. “He always finds a way to beat Mr. Hoseok!”

“Does he?” Kihyun laughed softly. “Like how?”

“He knows Mr. Hoseok’s weakness! And he can always outrun him!”

“His weakness?”

“His _stomach,”_ Jibeom clarified proudly. “Jangjun says to always go for his stomach.”

Kihyun made a face. “Kids, that’s not very nice to keep attacking Mr. Hoseok’s stomach.”

“Only if we need to!” Donghyun added quickly.

“Usually it’s Jangjun who does it though.” Jibeom nodded. “I hope he can escape before that awful pirate catches him!”

As if on cue, the sound of frantic footsteps ran up the jungle gym and the small body of Jangjun blocked the entrance of the slide, blocking the light.

“Jangjun!” Donghyun gasped, his eyes brightening at the sight of his brother. “You got away!”

Jangjun nodded breathlessly. “Yeah, but we have to go quick! Or the captain is going to find us!”

“What do you mean, I thought you lost him?”

“Yeah, but he was right on my trail! We have to go!” Jangjun urged. He reached down to grab Jibeom’s hand in attempt to pull him up out of the mouth of the slide. “Hurry, before he catches up!”

Kihyun gasped dramatically. “Your brother is right! We have to listen to him, boys!” He began helping Jibeom out of the slide, pushing his lower body up so he could climb out. “If we hurry, he won’t even know we were here!”

“Come on!” Jangjun exclaimed as he pulled his brother’s out one by one.

Kihyun was pushing Donghyun up the slide when he felt a large pair of hands grab him at his waist and yank him out the lower end of the cave. With a shout, Kihyun’s hands scrambled to find purchase as he was pulled up but he couldn’t find his balance before he found himself in Hoseok’s arms.

“Papa!” Jangjun screeched at the top of his lungs.

“Ha ha!” Hoseok sang as he tightened his arms around Kihyun’s body. He held him tightly as if Kihyun might really escape if he loosened his grip. “You can try running now, boys, but I’ve got your papa!”

“No surrendering!” Kihyun shouted as his three sons scrambled to get off the jungle gym. “You can prepare to fight, boys! I’ll keep him in his spot!”

Hoseok raised an eyebrow at Kihyun in amusement. “You think I can’t force you somewhere else?”

“Not if I stay put so my boys can rescue me.”

“Oh, you think so?” Hoseok’s grin became increasingly larger as he grabbed Kihyun a little firmer. “You think… _so!?”_ With an exaggerated grunt, he lifted Kihyun into the air and over his shoulder, absolutely laughing in the shocked yell that Kihyun let out. “Can’t keep me here now that I can take you anywhere!”

“Hoseok, put me down right now!” Kihyun exclaimed between his giddy laughs. Something about being lifted in the air made him feel elated despite the absolute humiliation of it all. “I look ridiculous!”

“Put papa down!” Jibeom screamed as he ran towards Hoseok.

And perhaps Kihyun was amazed at the way Hoseok could still hold him up and play fight his sons with just one hand. He laughed every time he bounced on Hoseok’s shoulder. He felt absolutely ludicrous and insane but somehow, he still laughed like it gave him the most joy in the world. Between his laughs, he wondered if this was how his boys felt whenever they played with him.

Because if it was, Kihyun really felt like he couldn’t get enough.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Kihyun wondered if Minhyuk had planned on inviting Hoseok to dinner from the start because when they went home, Minhyuk had started cooking extra amounts of food. He could ponder on where Minhyuk had gotten the extra ingredients from, but he didn't bother too much about it when he had to try to keep his boys in check from how much they were bouncing around. Perhaps it was the excitement from having Hoseok over for dinner again—they couldn't seem to stop bouncing off the walls.

Maybe that was understandable because of the way his heart wouldn't stop bouncing around his rib cage either, but that information was only for him to know.

Dinner passed by smoothly. Minhyuk kept giving Kihyun knowing looks that he would kick him under the table for. Luckily, Hoseok was too busy showing the boys weird spoon tricks to take notice, but Kihyun felt more nervous every time Minhyuk wiggled his eyebrows at him. He hated how his cheeks flushed warmly every time but he was so thankful when dinner was over and he could put the boys to bed. He figured that after a whole day of playing in the park and with Hoseok, they would be tired enough to knock out right after dinner, but he was proven wrong.

“Avast, scoundrel!”

“Not today, pirate!”

Hoseok feigned a gasp as he stood at the foot of Jibeom’s bed, pointing the hook of a wire coat hanger that he held in between his fingers at the boy. “It’s Captain Hook, to you, you insolent pup!” The coat hanger was a bit uncomfortable as the wire dug into his hand from where he held it, but he was having such fun, he didn’t even feel it.

Kihyun walked into the boys’ bedroom with Jibeom in hand, the boy wrapped in a towel and his hair dripping after a bath. He bounced on the balls of his feet as he watched them play.

“Papa! Papa, can I join?!”

“In a second, baby, you’re still wet,” Kihyun chuckled. He dressed Jibeom in his pajamas and took his towel to quickly dry his hair. Jibeom could hardly stand still, constantly craning his neck to stare at his brothers and Hoseok play on the beds. His eyes were big as he tried to stay put long enough for Kihyun put lotion on his face.

“Papa!” he said, unable to stay still. His face scrunched up as Kihyun rubbed lotion into his skin. “Papa, papa, papa, I want to play with them!”

Kihyun grinned with a laugh as he pat the lotion into his cheeks. “I know, I know. Just _one_ more second and… _now_ you can play!” He chuckled at how Jibeom took off faster than light and hopped onto the bed to join his brothers.

“You’re just a silly, old pirate!” Donghyun exclaimed. He was on Jangjun’s back, pointing a tiny finger at Hoseok.

“Silly—!” His jaw dropped. “How dare you!”

Donghyun laughed ecstatically as Hoseok softly lunged at him, tickling his sides until he was in fits of laughter and screaming for mercy. He called help from his brother who jumped in immediately and tackled Hoseok onto their beds.

“Captain overboard!” he yelled as they piled on top of him. He groaned loudly as Jangjun hopped onto his stomach, knocking the wind right out of him. “Captain overboard!”

“Surrender, Hook!”

Hoseok laughed breathlessly as all three boys sat on his chest. His arms flopped onto the bed as he sighed, “Okay! Okay, I’ll surrender!” Kihyun grinned fondly from the doorway of the room, watching over his boys softly.

“You promise?!”

“I promise!”

“Pinky swear?!”

Hoseok lifted up the hanger hook in his hands and looped it with Jangjun’s extended pinky. “Pinky swear,” he said gently.

“Hm… okay,” Jangjun replied.

He and his brothers smiled triumphantly as they climbed off of Hoseok’s body. Kihyun burst out into laughter when Hoseok immediately jumped up and pinned Jangjun down gently on the bed, caging him safely with his large arms.

“Never pinky swear on a hook, boy!” he playfully snarled.

“You tricked me!”

Kihyun allowed it to go on for several more minutes, the boys laughing as Hoseok tickled them or as they tried to tackle him down again and again onto the bed. There was something about the way they jumped on their beds and the pillows and sheets flew up around them and if Kihyun imagined hard enough, it could even look as if though they were flying.

Kihyun could stare at this forever. But he knew he had to put the boys to bed before their sleep schedule would be ruined.

“Okay!” he announced after some more minutes. “Let’s settle down and get into bed, boys.”

“What!” Jibeom exclaimed as the other two pouted. “But I just started playing with them, papa!”

Bending down to scoop Donghyun up in his arms, he chuckled and said, “I know, but it’s still bedtime. And. Mr. Hoseok has to go home and sleep also.” He looked at Hoseok with a knowing gaze. “So he can have more energy to grow and play with you boys again. _Right,_ Hoseok?”

Hoseok’s head popped up from underneath the covers, his hair disheveled from play fighting as he blinked. “Hm? Oh, yes, right. Right!” He stood up and wagged a finger at the boys. “You guys have to go to sleep or I won’t come over to play ever again.”

“A little dramatic,” Kihyun hissed as he walked over and bumped shoulders with him.

“Oh.” Hoseok giggled. “Sorry.”

But it seemed to do the trick, because the three boys were soon rushing to their beds, flipping up their covers to slide under them while yelling about how they would go to bed right that second. Hoseok laughed at them and watched fondly at how they fluffed their pillows and brought their quilts up to their chins.

“Cute,” he murmured to himself.

He watched as Kihyun walked around the room to make sure they were all snug and picked up anything that had fallen onto the ground. He picked up a small stuffed polar bear to hand to Donghyun as he wiggled deeper under his covers.

“Are you warm enough?” he asked them all as he straightened out of the foot of Jibeom’s bed.

Jangjun nodded in his spot, shimmying so he could get farther down as if it would make him sleep better. “Yep!” he said loudly.

Kihyun smiled with a soft chuckle. Leaning down over Jangjun, he touched their noses and whispered, “Good.” He laughed as Jangjun giggled in his spot and playfully pushed Kihyun away. “But don’t go to sleep just yet, remember?”

Jibeom sat up swiftly, his hair bouncing a bit as he gasped. “Oh yeah! I almost forgot!”

“I know,” Kihyun sent him a knowing glance as he went to the corner of the boys’ room and opened a drawer from a nightstand and pulled out two bottles. He poured something from the two into his hands as he continued, “You guys were playing so hard, I figured you would have forgotten.”

Hoseok wasn’t quite sure what he was watching. In Kihyun’s hand, he held two pill bottles that he was pouring out into his hands. Four pills went into his hands before he closed the caps and placed the bottles back into the drawer. On top of the dresser was a tray with a pitcher and four plastic cups that he poured water into before carrying it to sit at the end of a bed.

“Do you… need help?” Hoseok asked as he watched Donghyun and Jangjun come over to sit at the foot of Jibeom’s bed with their father. Jibeom crawled over also, the four of them huddled at the edge of the bed. Kihyun balanced the tray of waters in his hand as each boy took a colorful pill from his other hand.

Kihyun smiled at him as he wrapped his now free hand around Donghyun’s waist. “Don’t worry about it,” he said softly as Donghyun settled on his knee. “We do this every night.”

Hoseok blinked at them with a small smile. “Would you like me to leave?”

With a chuckle, Kihyun replied, “You don't need to worry about that either. I should walk you to the door anyways, you’re our guest.” He kissed the top of Donghyun’s head and smiled. “And the boys want to say goodnight to you also. So won’t you stay?”

Hoseok wasn’t sure what kind of effect Kihyun’s smile had on him, but he would have to be a stronger man than he already was to say no to him and his sons. He nodded silently and sat down on a toy chest near the door. Kihyun mouthed his gratitude towards him as he turned back to his boys.

“Do you want to tell Hoseok what you’re taking?” he asked softly. He glanced at Hoseok with a playfulness in his eyes. “He looks curious.”

Jibeom lifted his hand into the air. “They’re vitamins!” he announced.

Kihyun smiled. “Multivitamins,” he said to Hoseok. “Their doctor recommended it at our last check up.”

It made Hoseok’s mouth twitch into a smile as he stared at the colorful vitamins in their hands. He tilted his head at Kihyun’s hand. “What are you taking?”

It felt like everybody’s eyes zeroed in onto the white pill in Kihyun’s hand. Kihyun smiled softly as he stared at it also. “It’s my own vitamin,” he replied with a soft chuckle.

“Yeah, but it just tastes really bad.” Jangjun made a face. “I licked it once and it was so bitter!”

“Really,” Hoseok laughed.

“Ah, yes,” Kihyun played along, nodding professionally to Jangjun’s words. “It’s practically inedible compared to the boys’ vitamins.”

“Ours taste like fruit!” Jibeom said. “But papa’s tastes like… like _poison,”_ he sneered.

Hoseok teased, “How dreadful.” He raised an eyebrow at Kihyun who only smiled a little wider. “How could you possibly take poison every night?”

“We take the poison away,” Donghyun replied with a grin. It was a sleepy grin; the more he spoke, the drowsier he seemed to get. He looked up at Kihyun warmly. “Right, papa?”

“Yes,” Kihyun laughed, “that’s right. We should take it soon before the magic goes out of the vitamins! Or else, how else will you keep all the monsters away?”

“Right!” Jangjun agreed.

Hoseok watched in slight wonder as Kihyun brought his pill up to his lips and kissed it. “One,” he counted. And he brought it around to each of his sons, counting every one of them as they leaned forward and placed a kiss on the pill also. He smiled widely as Jibeom kissed it last. “Four,” he said. “Ready… set, go!”

And all at once, the four of them popped the vitamins into their mouths and downed their small, colorful cups. The sound of refreshment Kihyun made when he finished his cup sounded like he was so happy, Hoseok wondered how sweet all those kisses could make a bitter pill taste.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Thanks for stopping by,” Kihyun whispered as he closed the boys’ bedroom door softly. “And for saying goodnight.”

“It was my pleasure,” Hoseok replied in an equally quiet voice. “I love spending time with them, I really do.”

After tucking the boys back into bed again, Kihyun turned off the lights and turned on the soft lights from their nightlights as he wished them all goodnight. The boys said their I love yous before closing their eyes and trying to sleep. They even wished Hoseok a goodnight before he left, and Hoseok had never felt fuzzier inside.

Kihyun smiled up at him. “I’m glad. They really love having you around also.” It was quiet for a moment between them, the warmth of the night making them both feel light inside. “I should, um… let me walk you out.”

“Right, right.” As he followed Kihyun out of the hallways, he asked, “You really let them kiss your pills every night?”

Kihyun laughed as he turned back to grin at Hoseok. “Of course I do. I have to practice what I preach, don’t I?”

“And what do you preach?”

“That kisses always take the bitterness away.” Kihyun made a face. “As tacky as that sounds.”

Hoseok smiled amusedly. “It’s not too tacky. So does that mean you kiss them when they’re sad or angry?”

“Oh, of _course,”_ Kihyun sang as they reached the front door. “What kind of father would I be if I didn’t?”

“That’s sweet,” Hoseok chuckled. He put his shoes on fluidly and stepped one foot out the door. “Anyways Kihyun, I’m really glad to visit again. It makes me… really happy? I don’t know,” he said with a soft flush of his cheeks. “But I love being around you and the boys.”

Kihyun felt his cheeks heat up as he tried to suppress the grin that broke out onto his face. “Thanks, Hoseok. We really enjoy having you around too.”

“I’m happy.” Hoseok grinned and took a deep breath. “Anyways, I should go so that you can get some sleep yourself. Goodnight.”

“Oh, um—Hoseok?” Kihyun interrupted quickly, holding the door slightly open as he called Hoseok from his door. Hoseok stopped midtrack on the porch, turning back around to smile such a dazzling smile, Kihyun felt his heart drop to his feet.

“Yes?” he asked.

“I just—” Kihyun shook his head as if to clear his mind. “I was just wondering, maybe. I mean, I really enjoy spending time with you and I wanted to know if—if maybe…?”

Hoseok chuckled. “Yes?”

Kihyun bit his lip. “If—… If you’d like to come over for dinner again,” he breathed out. He mentally cursed at himself for freezing and panicking like this but Hoseok’s bright grin made him forget anything he was thinking.

Hoseok laughed out loud. “Kihyun, you don’t even need to ask me—I’d love to. So long as your doors are open, I’ll always find time to visit.”

Kihyun sighed and pulled a relaxed smile onto his face. He rested his cheek on the door frame and replied, “I’m glad to hear that.”

With a chuckle, Hoseok began walking down to his car before he stopped and turned around again. “You know… it’s funny. We haven’t known each other for very long but,” he tilted his head as he looked at Kihyun, “it feels like I’ve known you and your boys forever.”

Pausing, Kihyun bit his cheek to stop himself from grinning to widely. And then after a moment, he said, “Yeah. I feel that way too.”

“It’s… nice,” Hoseok finished. He smiled and waved one last time. “Anyways, goodnight. I’ll see you later.”

Kihyun let out a breathy chuckle through his nose. “Goodnight,” he whispered. With a smile, he closed the door quietly and locked it with a gentle turn. He bit his bottom lip as his heart sped up—perhaps he didn’t quite get to ask Hoseok what he wanted to ask, but he still felt good. With a soft laugh, he turned around and nearly jumped when he found Minhyuk staring at him. “Oh—!”

“You’re giggling.” Minhyuk pushed his reading glasses up his nose.

Kihyun tried to frown as he pushed past him, but that proved to be unsuccessful as his mouth involuntarily kept smiling. “I’m not… _giggling,”_ he said.

Minhyuk grinned as he followed him to the kitchen. “So what does that mean?” he sang curiously. “Did you ask him out?”

“No.” Kihyun chuckled at Minhyuk’s face of disappointment. He leaned on the counter as he continued, “But… I think I’m one step away from that.”

“Really?!”

“Yeah. I think… I think next time I’ll be able to ask him out.” Kihyun grinned and bit his lip again as he stared down at the counter. “Next time for sure.”

Minhyuk looked like he wanted to let out cries of joy, but instead as to not wake the boys, he simply sniffed and stuck his nose in the air, grinning as he stated, “Well, then, I believe everything is in order. I’m going to head to bed. Will you head up soon?”

Kihyun shook his head, still staring at the counter. “I’ll head up in a few minutes. Goodnight, though.”

“Night, Ki.”

And although Kihyun had said a few minutes, he ended up spending another hour by himself in the kitchen, smiling and laughing to himself as he tried to will his heart to beat slower.

  
  
  
  
  


“They will find the cake and gobble it up, because, having no mother, they don’t know how dangerous ‘tis to eat rich damp cake. They will die!”

Jooheon smiled and blinked up at Hoseok, slightly hunched as he sniveled, “It is the wickedest, prettiest policy ever I heard of.”

Hoseok stretched his hand out. “Shake hands on’t.”

“Stop, stop.” Jooheon and Hoseok froze on the stage and looked to the audience where Hyungwon stood from the shadows. His brow was furrowed as he regarded them. “What’s wrong with you?”

Jooheon looked back between him and Hoseok, softly asking, “Me…? Or Hoseok—?”

“The one who’s playing a deadbeat pirate _again,”_ Hyungwon snapped. “Honestly, what are you so dead for?!”

Hoseok groaned. “I don’t know, I guess it’s kind of hard to get into character when I’m making a hook with my finger.”

It was quiet for a second, everyone on set in a soft shock at the way Hyungwon’s eyebrow raised at the comment. He pursed his lip together as he crossed his arms. “Fine then. Where’s the intern? Bring him here.”

Soft chatter broke out as Changkyun clambored his way onto the stage, his stacks of papers flying in his hands. “Y-Yes? Yes! You called for me?”

“Go grab the hook.”

Changkyun’s eyes widened as he stammered, “Hook? Like _the_ hook?

“I’m not going to say it twice, intern. Get that hook so that Hoseok can act with it, if he insists that it’s so hard to act without it.”

“Um, the hook isn’t quite… done being made yet—”

“Just _get it.”_

Changkyun scrambled off stage and the sound of distant rummaging in the prop room could be softly heard before he came running back out with a half painted hook in hand. The edges were still rough, clearly in need of some fine tuning before dress rehearsals. Changkyun swallowed as he handed it to Hoseok quickly. “Um, she said to be careful with the hook because the glue isn't really set—”

“Thank you, intern,” Hyungwon said loudly, staring straight at Hoseok as Changkyun left the staging area. “Alright, Mr. Shin,” he continued firmly. “You've got your hook. Now show me that you can act.”

Even Jooheon looked nervous as he exchanged glances with Hoseok. The hook felt heavy in his hand as he looked down the script in his hand. They didn't talk for a moment and they could hear Hyungwon sigh loudly as he flipped open the director's script.

“Start from the plan. You,” he said, a strong tinge of annoyance in his voice as he looked at Jooheon, “start at your line at the top of the page. And then stop where I stopped your earlier.”

With a nod, Jooheon resumed his character and spoke, “Unrip your plan, Captain.”

Hoseok cleared his voice loudly in the silent room. He could feel every single cast member's eyes on him, full of expectations and anticipation. Taking in a deep breath, he opened gripped the hook in his hand and something familiar spread through his body as he watched Jooheon in character in front of him. Something about Jooheon's bright eyes and mischievous smile he had for Mr. Smee reminded him of a child.

_Sparkling eyes and mischief._

Hoseok hummed and stroked his chin with his hook. “To return to the boat and cook a large rich cake of jolly thickness with sugar on it, green sugar.” He grew a cynical smile on his face and continued, “There can be but one room below, fore there is but one chimney. The silly moles had not the sense to see that hey did not need a door apiece.”

Something changed in the atmosphere of the room and something in Hoseok's body seemed to change also, his arms surging with a newfound confidence he had never felt before as he pointed his hook at Jooheon and the action felt so comfortable, so familiar, that he felt himself get excited.

“We must leave the cake on the shore of the mermaids' lagoon! These boys are always swimming about there, trying to catch the mermaids.They will find the cake,” he said with some gusto, “and gobble it up! Because, having no mother, they don't know how dangerous it is to eat such rich cake. They will die!” There was some a drunken, maniacal glee in his voice that he had never brought out of himself before. And he could see it in Jooheon's eyes that nobody had seen him sound like this either.

Jooheon seemed momentarily stunned before regaining his character, his eyes forming crescents as he sniffed, “It is the wickedest, prettiest policy ever I heard of.”

Hoseok smirked as he gracefully lowered his hook in front of Jooheon with an arrogance he had never used before. “Shake hands on't.”

The stopped there as instructed before and turned back to the shadowy audience where Hyungwon was still standing with his arms crossed, but the look in his eyes was different.

“So,” Hoseok broke the silence. “How was that?”

Hyungwon frowned and narrowed at his eyes at him. “It was... good,” he bit out. He grabbed the script from the director's hands again and muttered out in annoyance, “Let's take a break on Captain Hook and Smee. I want the Lost Boys on stage in five minutes!”

The cast members scrambled to get all the correct actors on stage as Hoseok walked off with Jooheon, feeling triumphant for once during a rehearsal. Jooheon was staring at him with eyes full of soft shock.

“Hey, that was... something else.”

Hoseok scoffed despite the wide smile on his face. “I know right? Why does the director let that stupid casting agent take over the production like this? It's like he has no integrity as a director. It might as well be directed by Chae Hyungwon at this point—”

“No, no,” Jooheon interrupted. “I mean... that was really good. Like, your Captain Hook? That was the best performance I've seen you do.”

“Oh, thanks.” Hoseok smiled at him. “I think so too, that... that felt good. And not just because I could talk back to Hyungwon.”

Jooheon chuckled. “Yeah, that too. What brought that on? I've never seen that in you before.”

Hoseok looked up in thought, felt the weight of the half finished hook in his hand and his mind suddenly flashed to the image of three specific little boys, crowding their father's arms as Hoseok pointed a measly wire clothing hook at them.

“I don't know,” he replied with a soft smile. “I guess I just got... inspired in that second. Maybe I really did need the hook to perform well.”

“Maybe,” Jooheon said with some awe and amusement mixed in his voice. “Keep up the good work, I could see that Hyungwon was impressed.”

Hoseok nodded. “Yeah, definitely. Thanks, Jooheon.”

And for the rest of rehearsal that day, he kept picturing that precious family in his mind, kept picturing him playing with them and having fun. It felt like he was floating and he hadn't felt so good in so long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello sorry for such a delayed update! i planned to update this weekly but i went abroad for a month and then when i got back i had to prepare for mx's concert in SF ; v ; but i am back now!! 
> 
> hopefully i will be back to posting regularly for this soon!!!  
> see y'all in the next update feel free to hmu on twt @kkulseoki <3


	5. marooner's rock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marooner's Rock is right off the coast of Neverland—close to where Peter Pan and the lost boys have all their adventures. Yet despite that, Marooner's Rock is cold and lonely.

“Remember to RSVP using our custom website!”

Hoseok blinked as he looked at Minah. “We made a custom website?”

She kept smiling as she sang through her teeth, _“I_ made the custom website while you weren’t home.”

“Oh—”

Hoseok stood in front of the entire theatre production company with Minah, announcing the date of their wedding together because Minah had insisted on inviting everyone from there. He felt like a deer in headlights, though, when he stood on the stage with his fiancee only to not really know the answers to some of the questions his co-workers asked. He realized he really wasn’t very involved in the planning process.

“Wow girl, how do you have enough time to attend rehearsals and plan a wedding?” one of their friends asked.

Minah laughed and playfully flipped her hair. “All in a day’s work for Mrs. Darling! I hope you and your boyfriend can make it!”

“Fingers crossed, Mrs. Darling!”

Hoseok chuckled as everybody came to congratulate them. Even Hyungwon, who didn’t receive an invitation, had come up to congratulate them sincerely. But every time someone asked him a question, he redirected them to Minah with a smile. He felt a tad silly. He comforted himself though—Minah had wanted full control after all. It was fine.

“Looks like it’s getting realer each second.” One of their co-workers, Sewoon, came up to him with a grand smile and a pat for his back. He was one of the musicians in their live orchestra for the shows.

Hoseok smiled at him. “Yeah. Yeah, it really is.”

“It’s so exciting to see you guys tie the knot!” He smiled back at him. “How many are you planning to host for the reception?”

“Uh…” Hoseok scratched his head and turned to find Minah, only to find her talking among her gaggle of theatre girls. He nervously inhaled a sharp breath and smiled as he turned back to Sewoon. “I don’t really have an exact number. But—! Our capacity is nearing… three hundred, I think?”

“Wow, that must be exciting!”

Hoseok nodded. “Oh, yes, definitely exciting.”

“Are you going to plan some more after this?” Sewoon asked. “It must take so much time to get all these details in order.”

Hoseok laughed. “Nah, I’ll probably head to the park for some fresh air. But that’s why I usually let Minah handle all the fine details. It’s easier if it’s in her hands. She’s amazing when it comes to organization.” He turned to wave at her. “You’re doing a great job, honey!”

She blew him a kiss and Hoseok turned back to Sewoon who chuckled. “It’s good you have that figured out. Which park are you going to?”

“The one with the… big rock next to the seesaw?” Hoseok grinned to himself as he remembered one of the times he was there. Jibeom had stood up on the rock and jumped off, calling it a surprise attack. It had definitely surprised Hoseok, who screamed as he caught him safely in his arms. Kihyun has scolded him so badly, but none of them could stop laughing. “Yeah, I like to frequent that park lately.”

Sewoon’s eyes suddenly widened in recognition. “Oh! So that _was_ you!”

With a slight furrow of his eyebrows, Hoseok pursed his lips and blinked in confusion. “I’m sorry…?”

“I live by that park! I was walking one day and I thought I had seen you but I figured my eyes were playing a trick on me.” Sewoon grinned at him. “But how nice to know if was really you! I’ll say hi next time!”

“Ah!” Hoseok’s smile returned to his face. “Ah, yes! If I’m not busy then feel free to say hi anytime,” he said with a lighthearted chuckle.

“Busy? Busy doing what?” Sewoon asked with a laugh.

“Hm—? Oh, I just,” Hoseok stammered. He paused to recollect his thoughts and smiled. “I like to practice my lines there, you know? And practice on my own.” He laughed as he scratched the back of his nape. “It’s a tough role, Captain Hook.”

Sewoon made a sound of understanding as he nodded with a large grin. “I can imagine!” he laughed.

And as much as Hoseok would have liked to listen to whatever Sewoon would say next, thinking about the park and the man and boys who frequented it made him all too excited to go there later that day.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“I know you have the code to the safe. If you don’t tell it to me then I’ll have to take extreme measures.”

“I’ll _never_ talk.”

“You’re stubborn for someone who means very little. I don’t need you to get the numbers—I could get them somewhere else.”

“Then get them from someone else because I’ll never talk. My lips are sealed.”

“Really? Even though your life is on the line?”

“My one life versus the three I must protect? It’s an easy choice, Hoseok.”

Hoseok pulled a feline grin onto his face, doing his best impression of an evil laugh as he paced in front of Kihyun. Kihyun sat on one end of a see-saw, practically sitting on the ground because no one was on the other end of it. He held his hands behind his back, imaginary rope holding him as Hoseok’s hostage.

“You’ll never get the code to the safe!” Kihyun retorted loudly. “Not while I’m still alive.”

Hoseok leaned in close, his nose nearly touching Kihyun’s and Kihyun’s heart almost skipped a beat. “And what if I just kill you?”

Kihyun dared to lean forward, challenging Hoseok with his eyes and hissing, “To die would be an awfully big adventure.”

Hoseok took a step back and raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that line from Peter Pan?” he asked, impressed.

“I told you I loved that story,” Kihyun replied proudly with a small shrug.

They smiled at each other for maybe one more second before resuming their silly roles.

“If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you twice—your life means nothing to me.” Hoseok walked to the other end of the see-saw and stepped onto it with his foot. He raised Kihyun off the ground a few inches and snarled, “I could kill you right here.”

Kihyun exaggerated a swallow as Hoseok lifted his end of the see-saw higher. “I dare you,” he said. “Even if I die, I know you’ll never win. Because my boys will never give you the code!”

Hoseok sneered as he stepped his side of the see-saw all the way down to the ground which lifted Kihyun two feet into the air. His feet were still almost touching the ground. “Then it’s time to say goodbye to papa,” he growled.

“Papa, no!”

Donghyun came sprinting out from behind some shrubbery, his eyes glistening with tears as he ran towards Kihyun with his arms outstretched. Kihyun laughed in pity as he hopped off the seesaw to gather Donghyun in his arms and attempted to comfort him lightly. Jangjun and Jibeom popped up from the bush also.

“Donghyun, you were supposed to wait!” Jangjun scolded as he ran over.

Donghyun sniffed and buried his face into Kihyun’s neck. “But Hoseok was going to kill papa…”

“But we were going to save him!”

Hoseok rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as he walked to Kihyun’s side. “Maybe I was too convincing of a villain,” he said apologetically. He stroked Donghyun’s cheek with the back of his finger and pouted. “I’m sorry, Donghyun.”

Donghyun blinked at him blearily and snuggled back into Kihyun’s neck. Kihyun laughed and rubbed his back. “We’re sorry, Donghyun, Hoseok and I are both sorry. Don’t cry, okay? Papa isn’t going anywhere.” He smiled at Hoseok and said, “You make a good villain.”

“Really?” Hoseok chuckled as they all began walking off the playground. “I know a few people who think otherwise.”

“You mean that agent guy who said your Captain Hook wasn’t good?” Kihyun snorted. “Who cares about him?”

Hoseok snickered. “Well, unfortunately, a lot of people do. He keeps telling me I’m not progressing fast enough to be a convincing enough Captain Hook..”

Kihyun frowned. “Really? With that performance just now, I think you’d make a great Captain Hook.”

Hoseok thoughts paused as he considered what Kihyun said. In theory, he should be a pretty good villain if he could accidentally make Donghyun cry. So it gave him the idea that maybe if he performed like he was playing with the boys, his character would be better. Because what better way was there to become a children’s villain than pretend as if he was with children?

He remembered their last rehearsal a little bitterly—Hyungwon had gone at him again, critiquing more and more of his performance like he was scolding a teenager. And it had been embarrassing again but the feeling didn’t linger very long this time. Maybe because he and Minah passed out invitations that day.

“I think… I can become better,” Hoseok told him as they made their way over to his car.

“Is Mr. Hoseok coming over for dinner again?” Jibeom asked as they approached the car together. He had been driving them home from the park lately, whether he stayed over for dinner or not. The boys seemed to get tuckered out much easier when Hoseok was there to play with them and Hoseok didn’t want Kihyun to carry one of his sons’ all the way home while walking.

Kihyun glanced at Hoseok. “If he wants to,” he replied. He smiled teasingly at Donghyun in his arms and asked, “Do you want mean old Hoseok to come to dinner tonight?”

Donghyun peeked at Hoseok before burying his nose right back into Kihyun’s shoulders. “...I don’t know,” he whispered.

Kihyun laughed out loud at his comment. Turning to Hoseok, he said, “I don’t mind if you come over, but maybe you’ll have to convince Donghyun.”

Hoseok chuckled and reached over to stroke Donghyun’s cheek. “I’m sorry, Donghyun,” he said with a small pout.

 

  
  
  
  
  
When they arrived to Kihyun’s house, Minhyuk was reading in an armchair by the window, looking only half surprised that Hoseok was joining them again. He stood up when they came through the door, closing his book and taking his glasses off.

“Oh, I didn’t know Hoseok would be joining us tonight.”

The corners of Kihyun’s mouth twitched upwards in a short smile. “Me neither, but it’s fine.”

“You guys are home early too.” Minhyuk came over and took Donghyun out of Kihyun’s arms and into his own. The small boy still continued to sleep. “But I made dinner already so come and sit down. Donghyun seems exhausted though, I’ll take him upstairs. Warm up the food for me?”

“Thank you, Minhyuk.” Kihyun sighed gratefully. “The boys will set the table.” He looked to the side. “Oh and… Hoseok too. Right?”

Hoseok smiled. “Of course! What kind of guest would I be if I didn’t at least help set up the table.”

“A bad one!” Kihyun sang teasingly as he made a beeline to the kitchen.

Hoseok could hear him turning on all the stoves to warm up the food in the pots as Jangjun and Jibeom grabbed chairs to reach the plates in the cupboards. Hoseok gave them a hand in bringing the plates down, laughing to himself when Jangjun insisted on carrying the plates out himself. The plates were stacked a little precariously on top of each other, but Jangjun was careful not to make a single misstep. And Jibeom was by his side the whole time, keeping a watchful eye.

“Look!” Jibeom flipped a tiny rice bowl upside down and placed it in the center of the table. “It’s the rock we trapped papa on that one time!”

“Oh, you mean the rock that you jumped off into my arms from?”

“That too!”

Hoseok laughed out loud. Their blue tablecloth did seem to make the bowl look like the top of a rock floating in water. He leaned forward and whispered in a gruff voice, “In Neverland, we call it Marooner’s Rock. It’s where the pirates would leave a prisoner and wait for the tide to come in.”

Jibeom gasped. “They… drowned them?!”

“They did.” Hoseok straightened his back and shrugged as if it was not a big deal. “That’s what they tried to do to Tiger Lily. They marooned her.”

“And you tried to do that to papa?!”

“Sort of. I knew you guys would save him,” he said with a wink. “And take him somewhere safe in Neverland. Like…” He grabbed a cup and slid it to the edge of the table before rearranging it carefully. Pointing at it, he continued, “Hangman’s Tree! All the lost boys live under there, you know. Your papa would probably be safe there.”

“What about here?” Jangjun giggled as he placed some spoons at the opposite side of the table. “Is papa safe here?”

Hoseok gasped. “Oh, no! Those are rocks where mermaids like to sit! And mermaid lagoon is known to be dangerous.”

“But mermaids?” Jibeom asked with an interested twinkle in his eye. “Aren’t they just beautiful?”

“Beautiful, yes,” Hoseok agreed with a nod. “But if they wanted to, they could drown you too!”

“Why would they want to drown anyone?” Jibeom blinked.

Hoseok answered simply. “Out of jealousy. The mermaids would be _so_ jealous of your papa!”

Jangjun leaned forward on his arms. _“Our_ papa?”

“That’s right.” Hoseok nodded. “Especially your papa.”

“But why our papa?”

Hoseok made a show of glancing around the room, looking as though he was trying to find any person that could be listening in. When he was sure the coast was clear, he leaned and whispered, _“Legs.”_

The two boys gasped simultaneously. “Legs?!”

“Legs! Your papa has legs and mermaids only have tails. They would be so jealous.”

“Hm… then we can’t let papa near there either!” Jangjun decided.

Hoseok nodded solemnly. “Oh, yes. Mermaids are jealous creatures. Your papa is in double danger because not only does he have legs, but he’s prettier than them too.” He faked a sharp gasp and covered his mouth. “Don’t tell a mermaid I said that! Then they’d drown me for sure also!”

“Papa is prettier too?”

“The mermaids won’t admit it,” he whispered as he leaned closer to the two boys, “but Kihyun is the prettiest in all of Neverland. Every single mermaid is jealous.”

“Prettier than Wendy?”

“Prettier than Wendy.” Hoseok shook his head. “So those mermaids are green with jealousy.”

Jibeom gasped, his eyes widening comically as he hissed, “I bet you papa is a better singer too!”

“Oh, the mermaids hate that the most,” Hoseok sighed dramatically. “Kihyun has no safety at Mermaid Lagoon. No, we must take him to Hangman’s Tree. He’ll be safe there underground.”

“This doesn’t look like a very set table to me.”

Hoseok and the two boys jumped as Minhyuk entered the room, an eyebrow raised and a coy smile on his face. For some reason, Hoseok felt relieved that it hadn’t been Kihyun who walked in on them.

“It’s not a table!” Jangjun exclaimed. “It’s a map of Neverland!”

“Well, only about half a map,” Hoseok corrected. “We still have the rest to discover.”

“Oh, really.” Minhyuk chuckled as he began rearranging the plates and bowls to create an actual set table, much to the boys disappointment. “And why would you need a map of Neverland?”

“To find a safe spot to protect papa!”

“Protect him from what?”

“Mermaids!”

Minhyuk’s hands all but paused as he looked up with the most confused expression on his face. “Mermaids…?!”

Hoseok nodded. “Mermaids. For hell hath no fury like a jealous mermaid.”

Kihyun came in from the kitchen then, holding a steaming pot of stew in his hands. “I don’t think that’s the correct quote,” he said with a smile and a snort. He gave Hoseok a sideways glance. “What are you teaching my sons?”

“How to read a map of Neverland!”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“So, Hoseok,” Minhyuk began as they were finishing dinner, eyeing him curiously. The boys had already finished and raced upstairs to see who could get ready for bed the fastest. “What did you say you did for a living again?”

“Oh, I’m an actor. A theatre actor actually,” he replied with a smile. “For that company in town?”

Minhyuk nodded in acknowledgment. “That place where Changkyun works?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, how nice. I’ve got a couple friends that work there. Is it hard?”

“Sometimes,” Hoseok said with a light laugh.

Minhyuk laughed in return, although part of it sounded somewhat forced. “Changkyun always tells me how hard it is to deal with your director. Says something about how much he has to run around everywhere because the director can’t do his job right.”

“Changkyun isn’t wrong,” Hoseok replied with a snort. “Our director isn’t the greatest despite our productions coming out so well. Changkyun definitely has a hard time.”

Well… no one has it harder than Mr. Full Time Father, over here,” he said, nudging Kihyun.

 _“Minhyuk,”_ Kihyun, who had just been listening quietly, hissed. He smacked him harshly as he stood up from the table and carried the plates to the sink. “I would appreciate it if you kept your mouth shut.”

 _“What?_ I’m just saying! I’m barely enough to help you out around here sometimes, you know.” He shrugged playfully and Kihyun came back to smack him. He winced as he and Hoseok picked up the rest of the dishes on the table and brought them to the sink. “I’m just saying that you need all the help you can get.”

Kihyun eyed Hoseok briefly before smacking Minhyuk again. “Can you go check on the boys or something. Jibeom’s had this bad habit of getting toothpaste everywhere lately.”

“Sure. But then… who is going to help you with the dishes?” Minhyuk asked, a bit over dramatically. He looked pointedly at Hoseok, to Kihyun’s absolute horror, but Hoseok laughed anyways.

“I’ll help, I’ll help,” he agreed. “You check on the kids and I’ll help Kihyun.”

“Thanks Hoseok!” Minhyuk sang. He gave Kihyun a little nudge before skipping giddily out of the room.

Kihyun sighed before turning back to Hoseok. “Sorry about him,” he murmured. “Minhyuk enjoys it when he doesn’t have to help with the dishes.”

Hoseok smiled as he turned on the faucet. “He complains about you having such a hard time—he should probably help out more.”

Kihyun laughed out loud and the bright sound sent electricity to Hoseok’s heart. “Yeah,” he laughed, “he should. Too bad he’s not here for you to tell him that or I’d never let him hear the end of it.”

“I’ll hand it to you though. You adopting and taking care of three boys is really admirable and must be hard work.” He handed a sudsy plate to Kihyun for rinsing. “Why do you do it?”

“Why…?” Kihyun murmured to himself as he let his hands run under the warm water. “Because I want them to have a home. Kids like Jibeom, Hoseok, when I adopted him he was a little on the older side. Once they’re not babies anymore, it’s kind of hard for them to get adopted. Jibeom was a lot easier than Jangjun though… that’s for sure.”

“Is Jangjun still a little difficult?”

“Not in the way he used to be, no. Jangjun used to not talk and he used to just sit inside his room, refusing to get to know me and Jibeom. He was afraid he would be moved again despite me promising him otherwise. It took me months to get Jangjun where he is today.” He smiled to himself fondly. “And he was the first one Donghyun opened up to when I brought him home also.”

“Did you decide to adopt Donghyun to expand your family?”

Kihyun paused. “...No. Donghyun is different. They’re all different in some way. Donghyun was found on the side of a highway as a baby. Jangjun was dropped off at the orphanage when he was maybe three years old. And Jibeom was orphaned from a car crash when he was two.”

Hoseok’s hands stopped over the dishes he was washing. “Oh…” he murmured.

“Yeah,” Kihyun nodded, like the memories personally pained him. And Hoseok figured that a father like Kihyun could feel the pain of his children’s past, even if he didn’t experience it firsthand. “Jibeom had the most nightmares, you know. But sometimes I would wake up and he would be wrapped in Jangjun’s arms and it was the sweetest thing I’d ever seen.”

“Are you a saint, or something?” Hoseok joked lightly.

Kihyun paused, looking up. “What…?”

“Are you a saint,” Hoseok repeated. “Because you sure do seem like one.”

With a chuckle, Kihyun replied, “No, nowhere near. They’re just my little lost boys, Hoseok, and I love them. They need a chance like every other boy out there.”

“Lost boys.” Hoseok grinned. “How sweet. They won’t stay boys forever, you know.”

“No, they won’t… but they’ll always be boys to me.” Kihyun laughed softly to himself. “They’re my lost boys.”

Hoseok chuckled breathily as he scrubbed another dish. “I thought there were more than three lost boys though.”

“Funny you should say that,” Kihyun said cheekily. “I’m in the process of adopting another one, you know.” He smiled at the awed look Hoseok gave him. “His name is Youngtaek and he’s really shy and skinny. I’ve met him a few times and he’s sweeter than anything.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I wanted to meet him earlier but,” he sighed in what seemed like soft exasperation, “it took so long for the paperwork to even get through. And there’s only more and more paperwork ahead.”

“It must be really tiring.”

Kihyun looked up at Hoseok and nodded. “Oh, yes, it’s exhausting. But it’ll all be worth it once he joins our family.”

Hoseok smiled at him softly. “If you’re not a saint then you’re an angel,” he said softly. “You must be. No one can be this kind without some sort of flaw.”

Hoseok thought that the smile Kihyun gave him was sad though he couldn’t figure out why. “I’ve got my flaws,” he said. “I’ve got plenty.” The wistful glimmer in his eyes disappeared as soon as they arrived. “But I’m still good enough for the boys.”

“You’re more than enough, Kihyun.”

A pretty blush decorated Kihyun’s cheek. “Hoseok, please.”

“No, really.” Hoseok smiled softly at him before turning back to the dishes in his hand. “I see the way they look at you. They love you so much. Believe me, Kihyun, you’re more than enough.”

Kihyun felt that swell in his chest again as he rinsed the last few dishes Hoseok handed to him and recalled what he talked about with Minhyuk a few days ago. Liking Hoseok came like a second nature and Kihyun would be damned if he never acted upon his feelings. Hoseok made him feel so many things that he hadn’t been able to feel for years. And when their fingers grazed each other over the wet dishes they washed, everything in Kihyun’s body wanted to stop and speed up all at once.

So Kihyun turned off the water with only half of the dishes finished and stared at his hands. He tried not to let his vision become blurry from the nerves as he swallowed.

“Hoseok, I want to tell you something.”

Hoseok looked at him curiously before his eyes lit up. “Really? I have something to tell you also. Is yours important?”

“Kind of. Is yours?”

“Yeah, kind of.” Hoseok leaned in a little closer and smiled. “It’s more like I have something to give you.”

“You do?” Kihyun asked, his eyes widening.

And Kihyun didn’t know what to expect. He really didn’t know what he was expecting. Maybe he expected some sort of confirmation that he wasn’t the only one feeling this kind of way. So he wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but he certainly wasn’t expecting Hoseok to pull out a white and gold card from his jacket pocket.

He handed it to Kihyun, who took it reluctantly as his eyebrows knit. “...What’s this?” he asked in a low voice.

Hoseok smiled at him like there was nothing wrong. “I would really like if you and the boys could attend my wedding.”

Kihyun blinked slowly as the words _Hoseok & Minah Shin _became very clear to him on the front of the card. A pair of rings were embossed underneath with some wedding bells and Kihyun felt his eyebrows furrow at it. Something about it seemed so bitterly comical—how Kihyun had stood there as if Hoseok was somebody he could viably like when Hoseok was a taken man himself.

“You’re—?” Kihyun scoffed out a short laugh. “You’re _engaged?”_

Hoseok rubbed the back of his neck and replied, “Yeah. Her name’s Minah—she’s a co-worker at the company.”

“She’s an actress?”

“Yeah, it’s how we met.” Hoseok smiled again and Kihyun felt something twist on his insides.

“But if you’re engaged then why—” Kihyun stared at the ground, his eyes searching for some kind of plausible answer. The edge of lips quirked in a cynical smile as he laughed breathily. “Nevermind,” he said quickly, with a shake of his head.

Hoseok looked at him curiously. “Why what?” he asked with a tilt of his head and a smile.  And suddenly the ring on Hoseok’s finger looked all too noticeable, gleaming right in Kihyun’s eye to hurt his irises so badly that he had to close his lids briefly just to escape it.

Kihyun squeezed his eyes shut as he felt his head getting dizzy. He pressed a hand to his head and pressed his lips into a line before forcing himself to smile. “Nothing, it’s nothing,” he said.

“Does your head hurt?” Hoseok inquired quietly, reaching up to press his fingers to Kihyun’s temple.

“I’m fine,” Kihyun snapped, opening his eyes angrily as he pushed Hoseok’s hand away. Hoseok looked slightly taken back and Kihyun relaxed. “Sorry,” he muttered. Then he softly added, “It’s getting late, Hoseok. Maybe you should head home.”

Hoseok eyed him strangely as he chuckled, “But we haven’t finished the dishes yet—”

“I can finish them on my own, it’s just getting kind of late.” Kihyun made himself smile one more time. “And I’m sure your fiancée is waiting for you at home.”

“Well, yeah, but Minah doesn’t mind,” Hoseok said. “I can really stay to help if you need it.”

Kihyun shook his head, only to regret it afterwards when his temple pulsed. “No, really, Hoseok, it’s fine. You shouldn’t keep your fiancée up waiting so late. I’ll tell the boys you said goodnight.”

And so even though he was reluctant, Hoseok obeyed, leaving his wedding card on the table and telling Kihyun that the RSVP was inside. Kihyun had to take deep breaths to make the floor stop feeling like it was spinning around him.

He didn’t finish the rest of the dishes that night.

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Minhyuk.”

Minhyuk looked up from his bed in the spare bedroom that Kihyun gave him. He grinned as he looked up, taking off his reading glasses and setting down his book on the nightstand beside him.

“Did you tell him?” he asked excitedly. But then he saw Kihyun’s deep frown and his knit forehead and Minhyuk’s smile fell almost immediately. “Kihyun… Kihyun, what’s the matter?”

Kihyun stopped and leaned on the doorframe as he quietly muttered, “I didn’t tell him.”

“Why not?” Minhyuk asked. He slipped his legs out from under the covers to walk to Kihyun’s side. “Did something happen?”

“He’s engaged Minhyuk,” Kihyun bit out. “Engaged to be _married.”_

“What?” Minhyuk narrowed his eyes. “How could that be?”

“He’s getting married to some actress from the theatre company. Minhyuk, he—! He invited me to his _wedding.”_ Kihyun’s hands were tense with disbelief and his eyes were filled with hurt.

Minhyuk felt his face twist into a sneer as he said, “Then why is he so—?”

“Nice to me? Nice to the boys? Why is he always around and helping me out?” Kihyun finished. “I don’t know, Minhyuk. I don’t _know.”_

Minhyuk led him over to the bed and sat him down with a look of concern on his face. “So what, was he just playing with your feelings or something?”

“I don’t think Hoseok thought he was playing with anything,” Kihyun whispered. “He’s probably just… _nice,_ Minhyuk.”

Minhyuk shook his head and frowned. “No, there’s no way. No guy comes into a family’s life and acts the way he does without feeling some sort of attraction to you.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter, Minhyuk—he’s _engaged.”_ Kihyun held his face in his hands, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he said, “He’s going to be married. I _like_ someone who’s going to be _married.”_ And then softer, he muttered, “Maybe I’ve even… _fallen_ for him, Minhyuk.”

With his eyes wide, Minhyuk gasped, _“Kihyun?”_

“I know! I know, that’s so stupid. He’s just some guy I met recently that I kind of started falling for right after my boys fell in love with him! And it’s absolutely dumb because he’s _engaged,”_ he grumbled miserably. “He’s engaged and he’s never going to reciprocate what I feel for him. It’s been so long, maybe I just fell too hard too fast. I haven’t known what loving somebody who wasn’t one of my sons was like in so long, Minhyuk, I—… I just wanted—” He stopped and sighed sadly. “I just don’t know anymore.”

It was quiet between them for a few moments, Minhyuk sighing as he sat in thought. “So what are you going to do now?” he asked. “Are you going to tell him to stop coming over?”

Kihyun grimaced as he sat up straighter. “I can’t do that,” he said softly. “He adores the boys too much and the boys adore _him_ too much also. I’m not going to separate them for my own sake.”

Minhyuk reached over to envelop him in a hug and said, “Kihyun, that’s too—... Kihyun. Kihyun, you’re burning up.” He placed a hand on Kihyun’s forehead and gasped. “Ki, are you getting sick?”

“It’s nothing, Minhyuk,” he insisted.

“You _are_ getting sick! I told you not to go to the park without a jacket!” Minhyuk admonished.

“I said it was nothing,” Kihyun said again.

Minhyuk frowned at him sternly. “Kihyun, you know if this keeps up, we’re going to have to go to the doctor’s again—”

“No!” Kihyun said quickly, glaring at the floor as he covered a cough with his mouth. “It’s not like that, Minhyuk, I don’t need to see a doctor. A passing cold is all.”

“But—”

“Minhyuk,” Kihyun said firmly, standing up, “I’m _fine._ I’m going to bed, I’ll see you in the morning.”

Minhyuk wanted to protest. He wanted Kihyun to sit down and talk about this because this was important. This mattered because this probably crushed Kihyun more than it was crushing Minhyuk at the moment. But Minhyuk remembered the first time this happened, when Kihyun’s first husband left, how Kihyun locked himself in his room for days and how he was only okay after he could heal by himself.

So Minhyuk whispered, “Okay. I’ll see you in the morning.” And Kihyun left.

But as Kihyun lay on his bed that night, he had never felt more stranded and confused in his life. The darkness around him seemed like thick water and he couldn’t see the bottom. Closing his eyes, he willed himself to sleep despite the uncomfortable heat his body gave off while under his quilt.

He would have to deal with whatever the morning brought him tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont forget that angst is in those tags up there ok  
> speaking of tags, btw, remember to keep an eye on them
> 
> twt: [kkulseoki](https://twitter.com/kkulseoki)  
> cc : [quinseok](https://curiouscat.me/quinseok)


	6. the taste of tonic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tonic can be bitter, or perhaps sweet.

“Kibum, I’ve told you what you need to work on already. How come your character hasn’t changed?” 

Kibum bristled on stage, his eyes narrowing at Hyungwon who was standing on the edge of the stage with the director. “I have been working on it!” he snapped back. “You’ve seen me work on it!”

“Working on it and improving are two different things.” Hyungwon narrowed his eyes. “I feel like you’re not taking my advice seriously.” 

“And why should I perform the way you want me to?! You’re just an agent, I shouldn’t have to conform to your definition of acting.”

Hyungwon raised an eyebrow. “Well, considering the amount of people I have signed that have shot to  fame for their talent, I suggest you  _ should.” _

Kibum groaned loudly in disdain as he he threw up his hands in the air and shouted, “That’s it! I’m taking five!” 

“Kibum!” the director exclaimed as he ran after him. “Kibum, come back!” 

Hyungwon rolled his eyes as the cast scattered to take a break. The only person left on stage was Hoseok, who was leafing through his script and reciting them under his breath. Hyungwon stared at him for a few seconds before calling out, “Hoseok.”

The actor looked up in surprise and replied, “Yes?”

With a hesitant pause, Hyungwon slowly said, “You’re doing pretty good. I don’t know what you’ve been doing but you’re improving. I like that.” 

A grin began spreading on Hoseok’s face. “...Really? You think I am?” 

“Yeah.” Hyungwon nodded without a change in his expression. “I think you are.”

Hoseok tried not to show how pleased he was with the compliment on his face, so he just kept it straight and thanked Hyungwon for his words. But it honestly made him so happy that once rehearsal was over, he drove straight to the park to share the news with his favorite people. It was thanks to them that he had improved his role so much anyways. 

But when he made it to the park, he didn’t find Kihyun with his kids. Instead, he found Minhyuk with the boys on the playground. He smiled brightly when Donghyun yelled his name and ran into his arms but when he stood up and Minhyuk approached him, he looked around in confusion. 

“Where’s Kihyun?” he asked.

“Papa is sick,” Donghyun told him.

Minhyuk raised an eyebrow at him as he held Jibeom and Jangjun’s hands. “Kihyun’s at home. He’s got a fever.” 

“He does?” Hoseok’s eyes widened. “He seemed okay when I was over last night. Did something happen?”

“No,” Minhyuk replied slowly, “his health hasn’t been the best lately. I think he’s slowly been getting sick for a while.” 

Hoseok frowned sadly as he murmured, “Oh, that’s not good. Is he alright?”

Minhyuk paused, like he wasn’t willing to share the information. But he glanced back and forth between the boys and Hoseok and hesitantly replied, “He’ll be fine. But he probably won’t be leaving the bed for a few days.” 

“Do you have enough help at home? If Kihyun’s sick, then — ”

“I’ve got things covered at home, thanks.” Minhyuk narrowed his eyes. “And Kihyun isn't taking any visitors today.”

Hoseok frowned. “I didn’t ask if — ” 

“He needs his rest and I don’t think you seeing him will help with any of that,” Minhyuk said, interrupting whatever Hoseok had to say. “I’ll take care of all of them so you can… go take care of your wedding details.” 

Hoseok raised an eyebrow because up until now, Minhyuk had been relatively charming towards him and nothing but. His sudden change in demeanor felt strange. “Is… everything alright?” he asked.

“Everything is fine,” Minhyuk told him. “And Kihyun will be fine. He just needs some time alone to rest without the boys or anyone else bothering him.”

“Does his throat hurt? Is it a bad fever?” Hoseok continued to ask despite the look of disapproval in Minhyuk’s eyes. “Is it okay for him to be home alone right now?”

Minhyuk pursed his lips together as he retrieved Donghyun from Hoseok’s arms. “Kihyun’s an adult; if he needs me he’ll call me. But we should be getting home today anyways.”

Donghyun looked between the both of them confusedly. “Is Mr. Hoseok going to come home with us for dinner again?” he asked.

Minhyuk shook his head and smiled at him. “No sweetheart, your papa’s sick so Hoseok isn’t coming over.” He looked at the other two kids and said, “Alright boys, come on. We should go home and make dinner.” 

As they walked away, Hoseok heard Jangjun ask Minhyuk, “Is papa finally going to eat?” and Minhyuk responded, “I hope so,” before they were out of earshot.

And maybe Hoseok should have minded his own business — shouldn’t have been so concerned — but the thought of Kihyun lying in a bed, sick and tired, made Hoseok want to do something. So when he went back to his car to go home, he called up Jooheon instead. And before going home, he went grocery shopping first. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“I thought I told you Kihyun wasn’t taking visitors.” 

“You said he wasn’t taking any visitors  _ yesterday. _ Didn’t say anything about today.” Hoseok smiled coyly as he held up two armfuls of groceries. “Did Kihyun eat last night?”

Minhyuk frowned at him. “Kihyun’s not well enough to see you.”

Hoseok stepped inside despite Minhyuk’s protest. “That’s not what I asked,” he sang. “Did he eat last night?”

“...No,” Minhyuk answered reluctantly. “But he’s been sleeping since yesterday, so I’m not going to let you bother him.”

“I’m not going to bother him!” Hoseok promised with a grin. “I’m just going to make him some easy to eat food.” He took off his shoes and began walking to the kitchen. 

“Are you saying my cooking isn’t good enough?!” Minhyuk shouted as he followed him. 

“Mr. Hoseok!” Jibeom exclaimed, running to hug him around the waist. “You’re here today!” 

“Hi Jibeom,” Hoseok said with a smile. He set the groceries on the counter and then turned to Minhyuk. “And I think your cooking is great but Kihyun just might need something a bit softer for his throat.” 

“Can we cook with you?” Jibeom asked as Donghyun and Jangjun flanked his sides. “We like cooking with papa but we haven’t done it in a long time.”

Minhyuk blinked unsurely as he said, “Boys, I don’t know if you should bother Mr. Hoseok if he’s trying to — ”

“It’s fine, Minhyuk, I can watch them and cook at the same time.” Hoseok smiled at him as he picked up Donghyun with a big swing. “You’ve probably had no time to yourself since Kihyun got sick so this is your chance to take a break.” 

And as much as Minhyuk looked like he wanted to protest, he paused and thought about it because Hoseok was right. He hadn’t been able to have a moment to himself since Kihyun got sick and he had to balance caring for Kihyun and for his sons. And he did want to finish his book. 

“Can we, Minhyuk?” Donghyun asked with bright eyes. “Please?!” 

“Well…only if you all promise to go take a nap afterwards. You all stayed up too late last night.” 

“We promise!” Jangjun said with a quick nod. 

Minhyuk took one long look at the facial expressions of all four of them and then let out a resigned sigh. “Fine.” Then he gave Hoseok a stern look. “Make sure Jangjun doesn’t go near the stove.” 

“I will,” Hoseok promised with a grateful smile. 

Hoseok wasn’t actually sure how the kids could help him make soup and keep them away from the stove at the same time. He figured having them peel carrots and potatoes at the dining table was safe enough though. Donghyun liked to follow him around the kitchen, waddling behind him as Hoseok unpacked the groceries he bought. 

“Is your papa really badly sick?” Hoseok asked as he began to boil some stock.

Jangjun spoke back from the dining room. “Yeah, papa has a really bad fever, Minhyuk says. But it’s okay, it’s not the first time.”

“It’s not?”

“No,” Jangjun said. “Sometimes papa gets really sick but he’s better in a few days. Because papa is the strongest person in the whole world. At least, that’s what he tells us.” 

Hoseok chuckled at the thought as he sat down at the dining table to chop some onions with the boys. “Your papa is very strong,” he agrees. “He takes care of you three all by himself!” 

Jibeom nodded in agreement. “Papa is the best. Sometimes he lets us stay up late and watch Peter Pan together.” 

“He really likes Peter Pan, doesn’t he?” Hoseok smiled.

“It’s his favorite,” Jibeom nods. “You know he says someday he’ll go to Neverland and be a papa for all the lost boys there. But until then, he’s  _ our  _ papa!” He smiled brightly. 

Hoseok laughed with them, the sound making him feel lighter than he had in days. “What else does your papa like?”

Donghyun scratched his head in thought. “Papa really likes stars. He used to put glow in the dark stickers in our bedroom. He always has the biggest star as Neverland!” 

“Is that so?”

“Yes! He says that Neverland has a lot of lost boys like us that don’t have papas. And he says that one day he’ll go to Neverland and be a papa for them because they need papas too.” 

“That’s very sweet of him,” Hoseok said and all three boys nodded. “What else does he like?” 

“Hmmm… papa likes you!” 

Hoseok’s hands paused in the air, his smile falling slightly before pulling back up. “Uh,” he laughed. He shook his head as he looked at Jibeom. “What did you say?” 

“Papa likes you,” Jibeom repeated again like nothing was wrong. “He likes you a lot. He was happier to take us to the park after we met you. Less tired too!” 

“Really…?” Hoseok asked softly. 

Jangjun nodded. “Mm-hm. He thinks you’re very kind and handsome.”

With a chuckle, he said, “Well, I think your papa is very kind and handsome also.” 

“Do you like papa?” Donghyun asked suddenly. 

Hoseok felt himself freeze again at the question, although he didn’t know why. He and Kihyun were friends, absolutely. There was no reason for him to feel slightly anxious at the question Donghyun asked him.

“Well,” he cleared his throat. “Of course I like your papa. He’s a good friend.” And maybe he imagined it, but the boys seemed to deflate in slight disappointment. 

“But, do you like him a lot?” Jangjun asked with a glimmer in his eyes.

Hoseok felt his mouth dry up as he coughed to clear his throat again. But this time, he couldn’t find anything to say. 

“Mr. Hoseok, the pot is boiling over!”

“Oh!” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Do you know where Hoseok is?” 

Jooheon looked to Changkyun who was staring at him concerned eyes. He seemed to have more papers stacked onto his clipboard than ever. “Hoseok?”

“Yeah.”

“Hoseok… who?” Jooheon asked with a small tilt of his head.

Changkyun frowned. “Hoseok… the one who plays Captain Hook. You know the one the  _ temperamental agent _ out there is here to see?”

“Oh —  oh,  _ that  _ Hoseok,” Jooheon laughed. His smile fell as he stammered, “He’s, uh. He’s sick.”

“Sick.” 

“He’s sick.”

“He’s with Kihyun, isn’t he?”

Jooheon’s eyes widened. “How did you know — ”

“Minhyuk told me Kihyun’s been sick,” Changkyun replied, scribbling some words down on his clipboard. “Doesn’t surprise me that Hoseok went to go see him.” 

“You know about Kihyun?” 

“Of course I do, I’m friends with him and Minhyuk.” Changkyun raised an eyebrow.  _ “You _ know about Kihyun?”

Jooheon blinked. “Yeah, Hoseok talks about him all the time.”

“So you know all about him too?” Changkyun asked curiously. “And his three kids?”

“Yeah.” Jooheon chuckled. “You know, whenever Hoseok talks about him, it’s like Kihyun is his favorite celebrity or something. Like Kihyun is the most amazing man he’s ever seen.” 

Changkyun raised an eyebrow in interest. “Really? Because I was at Kihyun’s last week for dinner with Minhyuk and Minhyuk tells me that Kihyun thinks Hoseok is one of the greatest people to enter his life.”

_ “Really.” _

“Really.” Changkyun nodded. He glanced around them carefully to make sure no one was listening and then leaned in near Jooheon’s ear. “You know… between you and me, I don’t know if you notice but… don’t you think they’re a little — ”

“Close?” Jooheon finished. He hesitantly shrugged and murmured, “Yeah. Kind of. I mean, that’s not my business but Hoseok seems to be more excited to see Kihyun than Minah these days.”

“Who’s Kihyun?”

Changkyun and Jooheon jumped in their shoes as they both turned around sharply with wide eyes to face Minah who was eyeing them strangely. They gaped at her like two fish out of water as they struggled to speak. 

Minah narrowed her eyes at them and repeated, “Who’s Kihyun? And why is Hoseok seeing him?” 

“Kihyun’s just —  someone Hoseok is inviting to the wedding,” Jooheon explained quickly. “He’s this guy we know and has some kids. No one special.”

Changkyun met Jooheon’s gaze and nodded. “Right. He’s… just a good friend of Hoseok’s.”

“If he’s such a good friend then why don’t I know who he is?” Minah asked, raising a perfectly plucked eyebrow. 

“Probably because Kihyun’s too busy to have dinner with you guys or something,” Jooheon said with a fast chuckle. It sounded forced even to his own ears. “I mean, he’s a father of three, after all.” 

“Father of three — ?”

“Uh, I’ve gotta go do a check inside the sound booth.” Changkyun smiled awkwardly before scurrying away.

Jooheon’s eyes lit up as if he remembered something and he said, “And I’ve got to go to the costume room for a sizing.” And he was soon walking away also.

Minah pursed her lips at them, watching suspiciously as they sped away. Hoseok wasn’t here at rehearsal, which wasn’t like him, and these two seemed to know where he was and who he was with. But it felt like they were trying to hide something and Minah wanted to know why. 

“Where’s Hoseok?! I swear, Hyungwon will not leave me alone unless Hoseok is there to get critiqued also — oh, Minah.”

“Kibum,” she regarded. 

Kibum pursed his lips as he crossed his arms. “Where’s your fiancé?” 

“I don’t know,” she replied. “Seeing someone named Kihyun or whatever.”

“Kihyun? You mean the guy with the three babies?”

“You know who Kihyun is too?”

Kibum smiled at her coyly. “Minah, I know you’ve been busy with wedding prep and all that, but a lot of the people in the company know who Kihyun is. Or at least, we’ve  _ heard  _ of him.”

Minah frowned. “And why is that?” 

_ “Well.” _ Kibum took a deep breath. “I was talking to Dayoung who was talking to Sewoon and  _ he  _ said that he lives near this park, right? And Hoseok has been going there really often lately to play with these little kids and their father.” 

“Why is this important?” Minah drawled, ready to walk away.

“It’s Kihyun and his kids.” Kibum smirked amusedly at the way she stiffened. “Hoseok goes to the park with them to play with them a lot. And he goes home with them for dinner lately also. Did you know about that?”

Minah cleared her throat and blinked rapidly to clear whatever emotions could have been showing in her eyes. “No,” she said curtly. “I did not.” 

“I hear Hoseok pretends to capture Kihyun so that his kids can rescue him. And apparently he spends a lot of his time with his arms holding Kihyun around his waist as captive.” 

Minah scoffed. “Now I know you’re just making things up.”

“Am I?” Kibum asked. 

Narrowing her eyes, Minah spat, “What kind of engaged man spends his free time holding another man and having dinner with him and his kids?”

“Funny, I was going to ask you the same thing. Because it’s not like Hoseok has been helping out with wedding preparations, has he?”

“Well… that’s different. He just knows I would like control.” 

Kibum shrugged as he began walking away. “Maybe I’m wrong. Just seems a little weird how much time he’s spending with someone who isn’t his fiancée.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Hoseok knocked on Kihyun’s door with one hand, balancing a tray with the finished soup in the other. The soup had been easy to finish after he and the boys were done chopping all the ingredients and Hoseok had finished the soup with boys standing on chairs around him to see what was happening inside the pot. He let all of them taste test it and they all said it needed salt (and Hoseok laughed and he agreed.) 

Kihyun’s voice came weakly from inside his room. “Come in.”

Hoseok pushed open the door carefully and smiled at Kihyun warmly. “Hey.”

“Oh.” Kihyun gave him a brief glance before closing his eyes. “Minhyuk told me you came.”

“Yeah,” Hoseok replied softly as he stepped in. He placed the soup on the nightstand as he sat in a chair next to Kihyun’s bed. “The boys helped me make you some food.”

Kihyun smiled softly. “I heard you guys laughing from the kitchen. Wish I could’ve joined.”

“You need your rest.” Hoseok leaned over and put a hand on Kihyun’s forehead, feeling for his temperature. Kihyun groaned and tried to turn away as Hoseok tsk-ed. “You’re really running a high fever. What did you do?”

“I just get sick sometimes, like anyone else. That’s all.” 

Hoseok hummed. “Well, sit up — you need to eat.”

“I don’t want food,” Kihyun groaned. “Everything tastes bad when I’m sick.” He let out a harsh cough. 

“If you don’t eat you’re not going to get well again!” Hoseok exclaimed, reaching to prop a pillow behind Kihyun’s back and help him sit up. “Jibeom told me that’s what you tell him when he’s sick; you should follow your own advice.”

Kihyun winced as he sat up. _ “Still.” _

“Come on, I came over and made special soup just for you.” Hoseok moved the tray of soup onto Kihyun’s lap. “At least give it a try?”

“Hoseok, I appreciate the gesture, but I really don’t have much of an appetite for food.” 

Kihyun gave Hoseok a miserable look and Hoseok only clicked his tongue. “If you don’t eat, I’ll have to feed it to you Kihyun.”

“I’m not five.”

“You’re not five, but you’re sick.” Hoseok picked up the spoon from the bowl as Kihyun watched in protest. “And if you don’t eat, you’re not going to get better,” he said again. “And you’ve got to get better for your boys.”

Kihyun frowned at the spoon Hoseok held to his lips. The steam billowed in front of his eyes and Hoseok looked so intent on him eating it that it felt like if Kihyun didn’t, he would never leave. So reluctantly, he opened his mouth and closed his lips around the spoon, making Hoseok smile triumphantly. 

“See! Good soup.” 

Kihyun chuckled weakly as he took the spoon from Hoseok’s hands. “I don’t know about good… because it’s kind of bland.”

He took another spoonful and Hoseok smiled. “Yeah, that’s the point. I’m sure your nose and taste buds are sensitive since you’re sick, so if it’s blander, it’ll go down easier.” 

Kihyun raised an eyebrow at him as he slid the spoon out of his mouth. “And where did you learn that?”

“My friend, Jooheon — I’ve told you about him before, right?”

“Your Mr. Smee?”

Hoseok laughed. “Yeah, him. He got sick really badly once a couple years ago and couldn’t eat anything because his sense of smell was so sensitive. He could only eat some tasteless porridge so I figured that happened to you too.”

Kihyun hummed with a tiny smile as he drank some more of the soup. “So you made me bland soup?”

“Yeah.” Hoseok shrugged sheepishly. “I heard you weren’t eating so I figured that might have been why.” He reached up to feel Kihyun’s forehead again. “Do you feel better though?”

Kihyun gently removed Hoseok’s hand from his forehead. “Yeah,” he murmured. “It was a lot worse yesterday but I’m — ” he coughed raspily in his fist. “I’m fine.” 

“You don’t sound fine,” Hoseok muttered. “I can drop by a convenience store to get you some cough medicine if you like.”

Kihyun looked at him strangely and paused his eating. Then slowly and softly, he asked, “...What time is it?”

“Mm… maybe eleven?”

“Shouldn’t you be at rehearsal?” Kihyun asked with furrowed brows and concerned eyes. 

Hoseok smiled at him softly and reached up to brush his hair back. “I’m here taking care of you. It’s okay.” 

Kihyun shied away from his hand and said, “Hoseok, why are you here? Your rehearsal is important, I can’t possibly be more so.”

“I’m here because I care about you, Kihyun,” Hoseok said softly. “You’re not well enough to take care of yourself, Minhyuk can’t take care of you  _ and  _ the boys, so I’ve got to be here for you.”

“But — ”

“Not buts, Kihyun, I really don’t mind.”

Kihyun narrowed his eyes. “Won’t the  _ theater  _ mind?” 

Hoseok smiled coyly and said, “Jooheon’s covering for me while I’m gone.”

_ “Jooheon?  _ He knows you’re here? He knows who I am?”

“Of course he does, I talk with him about you nearly every day.” 

Kihyun felt his cheeks warm up but it was probably just his fever flaring up again. “You do?” he asked quietly. 

“Well yeah, he’s my best man, I always update him on important things.”

And it kind of felt like Hoseok said something he wasn’t supposed to by how warm the air got and how they couldn’t find words to say afterwards. But it didn’t matter because Hoseok talked with him until Kihyun fell back asleep after eating all of his soup. 

Kihyun looked so pretty when he was asleep. His eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks that were still flushed pink from heat. His forehead was still hot when Hoseok went to brush his hair off of his forehead again. And suddenly he was thinking to himself whether he did like Kihyun or not. But, of course he liked him, he was such a great man, anyone in their right mind would love Kihyun. 

But staring at Kihyun’s sleeping face, Hoseok had a feeling that his idea of liking him might have been a bit different from what he considered it to be. He pushed it to the back of his head. It was probably just him being protective, affectionate, because Kihyun was sick. It was normal to dote after anyone who was sick.

Kihyun shivered in his sleep. With a soft smile, Hoseok pulled the covers up a little higher and chuckled breathily as he watched Kihyun visibly relax under the warmth. He pulled out his phone and considered taking a picture of the pretty man as he slept, but he figured that would have been too much. With a glimpse at the time, Hoseok sighed. It was getting late.

“I’ve got to go,” he whispered softly. “But I’ll be back soon.”

And as he was leaving, Hoseok found himself beginning to lean over to Kihyun’s face. But he stopped himself because what was he about to do —kiss his forehead as a goodbye? Hoseok laughed at the very thought. Reaching up, he brushed Kihyun’s bangs away from his forehead again and smiled to himself. 

Perhaps it was the rosyness of Kihyun’s cheeks from being sick, the pinkness of his parted lips that breathed shallowly, the softness of his eyebrows that were slightly furrowed that made warmness strike deeper into Hoseok’s chest.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Where were you today?”

Hoseok looked up at Minah who was standing in the middle of their living room with crossed arms. “Hm?”

“I said,” Minah repeated, “where were you today? Why weren’t you at rehearsal?” 

“I was out,” Hoseok replied as he walked past her. “Couldn’t make it to rehearsal today.”

“Why? The director was really mad that your understudy had to cover for you. Hyungwon wasn’t pleased that you were ditching either and you  _ know  _ how much you need to impress him.” 

Hoseok sighed. “I just couldn’t, okay?” 

Minah furrowed her eyebrows. “I’m not stupid, Hoseok. You were out with Kihyun, weren’t you?” 

Hoseok felt his sweat go cold and his muscles freeze at the sudden accusation. “What?” 

“Kihyun. You were with him instead of at rehearsal. Weren’t you?” Minah frowned. 

It was quiet between them as Minah stared him down expectantly. After a few tense moments, Hoseok spoke to answer.

“He was sick and I was taking care of him. That’s all.” 

Minah’s frowned deeped. “That’s not something you’re out  _ all day _ for.”

Hoseok scoffed, “It’s not your business. It was my choice, okay, I’ll pay the consequences for it.”

“Hyungwon is not happy about it,” Minah said with an edge in her voice. “He thinks after he he complimented you, you got arrogant and decided to ditch.”

“Well, that isn’t what happened. I was taking care of a sick friend,  _ alright?”  _ Hoseok rolled his eyes and began walking away. 

“It doesn’t change the fact that you skipped rehearsal!” Minah exclaimed, following after him quickly. “And you’ve been so distracted lately also! People at the company are saying you spend your days playing with kids at some park instead of rehearsing or helping with the wedding.  _ Kihyun  _ and his kids.” 

Hoseok stopped and narrowed his eyes. “How would anyone in the theatre know that?” 

“Hoseok, it’s our theatre company — everyone knows _ every _ thing about  _ every _ body.”

“It’s none of their business!” 

“Well, when you’re not focused in your workplace, they make it their business! You’re one of the main leads and you’re important to the entire production, you can’t just  _ not  _ be there! If this Kihyun guy is a problem — !”

“He’s not!” Hoseok barked. “Kihyun is never a problem!”

“Well, he sounds like a problem from what I hear!” Minah snapped back. “He and his kids sound like a big distraction to your career!”

Hoseok angrily retorted, “Do  _ not  _ call them a distraction, they’re some of the greatest people I’ve ever met!”

Minah bit her lip, her eyes flickering in anger. “Then why have you been spending so much time with them?”

“It’s none of your business,” Hoseok seethed.

“I don’t see why you’re getting defensive,” she hissed softly. “I’m your  _ fiancée _ — if anything, I deserve to know.”

“Maybe. But you don’t need to.” 

Minah narrowed her eyes. “What is that supposed to mean?!” 

“It means that the time I spend with Kihyun and his boys is time that is special and personal to me,” Hoseok said. “And whether or not they’re distracting me is none of your business.”

“Too special to share with me? To even tell me?” Minah quipped. “How do I even know that I trust you around this Kihyun guy? How do I know that he isn’t some cheap, good for nothing that’s just using you — ”

“Don’t talk about him that way!” Hoseok yelled bitingly. “Don’t you ever talk about Kihyun that way! He’s the greatest man I’ve ever met in a long time and I will not let you disrespect him.”

Minah took a step backwards in surprise. With a sneer, she softly said, “I wouldn’t need to make these assumptions if you just  _ told  _ me about him.” 

Hoseok frowned at her, the tension in the air creating a wall between them as they stood there and glared at each other. After a few moments, Hoseok tore his eyes away and stepped towards their bedroom.

“You’ll meet him at the wedding,” he grumbled. “I’m going to sleep.”

Minah sighed at him as she looked away, refusing to meet his eyes. “Good night.”

“Night.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jooheon raised an eyebrow as he regarded Hoseok over their table. They were out for lunch again after Hoseok had called him some nights ago, distressed from the fight he had with Minah.

“I mean, she shouldn’t be poking around my personal life like that.” Hoseok frowned into his bowl of ramen. “It’s not her business.”

“I don’t remember her being that confrontational ever,” Jooheon murmured.

“Because she usually isn’t! Overbearing, controlling and kind of arrogant — _ sure _ — but never confrontational like that!” Hoseok rolled his eyes. “I don’t know why she’s starting to pry.”

Jooheon chuckled darkly under his breath. “Was just a matter of time,” he muttered amusedly.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” Jooheon waved his hand. “I was just thinking that I don’t really remember liking Minah when you started dating.”

“You didn’t?”

Jooheon shrugged. “Yeah, but that’s not my business. But,” he gave Hoseok a look, “I also don’t remember you ever getting that confrontational either. Wasn’t that your first argument?”

Hoseok blinked. “I — I don’t think that was our first argument ever — ”

“No, I don’t mean small arguments over small things. I mean this is the first argument where you actually yelled back at her. At least, from the way you described it.” Jooheon looked at him curiously. “What’s that about?”

“I don’t know,” Hoseok murmured. “Sometimes we argue but it never gets that…  _ angry. _ I guess I was just really upset over what she said.” 

“Why were you upset? What were you fighting over?”

Hoseok pursed his lips as he pushed his ramen around. “Kihyun. It was about Kihyun.” He huffed. “She just… said some things that made me so  _ angry.” _

Jooheon hummed in interest as he sipped his water. “Have you two apologized to each other yet?”

“No,” Hoseok grumbled. “I wouldn’t talk to her the next day. Man, if this is it what it’s going to be like when we’re married then I’m suddenly pitying myself.”

Jooheon snorted.  _ “I  _ could’ve told you that when you started dating.” 

Hoseok sighed. “Maybe I should have listened to you back then.”

Jooheon raised an eyebrow but didn’t say any more on the matter. They started eating their ramen after that so it wouldn’t go soggy. After a few minutes of silent eating, Jooheon asked, “So how is Kihyun doing anyways? Any better?”

“A bit better, or so Minhyuk says.” Hoseok hummed to himself. “He’s been eating normal food and getting out of bed so that’s always a plus.”

Jooheon nodded. “That’s good news.”

“His cough hasn’t gone away though, so he hasn’t been able to take the boys to the park still. I wish I could do something for them.”

A strange, curious gaze crossed Jooheon’s face as he stared at Hoseok. “...You really like them, don’t you?” 

Hoseok paused in the middle of his ramen to look up at Jooheon innocently. “Of course I do, they’re great friends.”

“Mm-hm, right,” Jooheon murmured under his breath. Then after clearing his throat, he said, “I don’t really know what you can do for them, but I’m sure something small and considerate will be appreciated. What kinds of things does Kihyun like?”

Hoseok thought back to the other night and smiled softly. “Peter Pan. And stars. Isn’t that sweet?”

Jooheon quirked a smile. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Sweet.”

“There’s always something about spending time with him that makes me feel like I’m floating.” Hoseok grinned softly to himself. “It’s weird because when I was reading the script for our play, I could hardly understand the feeling of it. It felt so weird and scattered and childish. But with Kihyun it's like… it’s like Neverland is  _ real…”  _ Hoseok gasped suddenly, his hands slamming into the table and surprising Jooheon. Then excitedly, he looked at Jooheon with excited eyes as he grinned. “I have an idea!” 

“...You do — ?”

“Yes!” Hoseok clamored excitedly. “Do you still have those blankets we went camping with?”

Jooheon looked up in thought before answering, “Yeah, I think so? Why?”

“I’m going to need them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof is it me or are things getting heated  
> lemme know in the comments! <3
> 
> twt: [kkulseoki](https://twitter.com/kkulseoki)  
> cc : [quinseok](https://curiouscat.me/quinseok)


	7. when your feet don't touch the ground

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chap got a little delayed! had to rearrange and fix things so apologies!  
> anyways enjoy!

_“No.”_

“Minhyuk, come on!”

 _“I said no. I’m not about to_ _—”_

“Come on, please. I need them!”

_“No.”_

“How come?”

_“Because I said so, that’s how come!”_

Hoseok pouted as he wedged his cellphone between his ear and shoulder, stuffing things into a big duffel bag as he continued, “Come on, I just want to see the boys, okay? I need their help to surprise Kihyun.”

 _“And what makes you think Kihyun wants a surprise?”_ Minhyuk’s voice asked in annoyance. _“I’m taking care of him, Hoseok, I don’t have time to bring the boys over to… to what? What do you even want them to do?”_

“Then don’t!” Hoseok said. “I’ll head to the house in a bit, I just want them to help me with a surprise for Kihyun. That can’t be too hard.”

_“It’s not hard, but it’s ridiculous.”_

“It's not!” Hoseok sang. “Besides, the boys haven’t been able to play for a few days since Kihyun got sick, right? I can take care of them and play with them at the same time. Just let me visit them, please?”

_“We’re busy taking care of Kihyun, there’s no time for me to have you here to play around.”_

“I can do both! Remember when I made soup? You were okay with that!”

 _“Yeah, but_ _—”_

“And besides, um,” he glanced around frantically in the costume room, where he had escaped to make the call in the first place. His eyes lit up as Changkyun entered the room while scribbling on his clipboard. “Besides, Changkyun wants to see you tonight though!”

Changkyun looked up sharply. “I what—”

_“He what?”_

“He wants to see you!” Hoseok said, nodding straight at Changkyun as he spoke into the receiver. “He asked me to see a movie with him tonight but I can’t go since I’m planning a surprise for Kihyun. You could go for me, right? We can switch spots.” He grinned. “He really wants to see this movie.”

_“He does?”_

“I do?”

“Yes,” Hoseok seethed with a hard smile. “He does. So wear something nice! He’ll take you out tonight!”

“Hoseok, what—”

_“That’s-That’s real sweet, but I’m busy, I have to take care of the kids.”_

“I can take care of them!” Hoseok offered again, ignoring the scandalized looks Changkyun was shooting him.

_“But—”_

“Don’t worry!”

 _“Hoseok—”_ Hoseok heard a resigned sigh over the phone as the sound of the three boys suddenly clamored through the speaker. They had heard Minhyuk say his name, apparently, and wanted to talk to him too. _“Boys, calm down, please—”_

“I’ll see you over there then, okay? Changkyun says hi to the boys too!”

“Hoseok, would you stop dragging me into this—!”

A large sigh came through the phone and Minhyuk replied, “Fine. You can come over. But not for long.”

Hoseok grinned. “Great! I’ll see you then!” He hung up with a satisfied smile and blinked at Changkyun’s wide eyed stare. “I’m going to have to head out soon.”

Changkyun sputtered, “Well, yes, I heard! But Hoseok, I can’t take Minhyuk out to the movies, I’m working—!”

“Sure you can, I’ll pay.” Hoseok smiled at him. “And you get off earlier than everybody else since you’re the intern, I’m sure you can take him.”

Changkyun frowned and said, “That’s not the problem, Hoseok. I can leave, what about you?”

“What about me?”

“You still have rehearsal?” Changkyun said with a confused furrow of his eyebrows, like he couldn’t fathom that Hoseok would forget. “And your costume fitting is afterwards with Jooheon?”

“Oh… hmmm.” Hoseok furrowed his eyebrows as he slung the duffel bag over his shoulder. “Do you think anyone will notice if I split early?”

“N-Notice—?!” Changkyun stammered. “Of course they’re going to notice, you’re Captain Hook!”

“But all my scenes are over today, aren’t they? All the rest of the scenes schedules don’t include Captain Hook.”

“But what if they need you?! And I just said you have a costume fitting with Jooheon afterwards!”

Hoseok’s eyes shot open. “Jooheon! Jooheon can cover for me!”

“I can what?”

Jooheon entered the costume room with a raise eyebrow at the mention of his name. Hoseok smiled excitedly and immediately pulled him over. “Cover for me! I need to go visit Kihyun.”

“You _need_ to?” Jooheon repeated. “What about—?”

Hoseok begged gently, “He’s sick. And he and his kids haven’t been able to really go out and spend time together and I want to do something for them. _Please.”_ His eyes looked desperate as his hands clasped together at his stomach. He seemed to be pleading them both, chewing on his lower lip as he stared the two of them expectantly. “Cover for me?”

Jooheon and Changkyun shared a glance and heavy sigh.

  
  
  
  
  


Jooheon’s eyes blinked wide in confusion when a familiar, manicured hand slammed his car door shut despite the fact that he was trying to open it. He looked up and found a certain actress staring him down with narrowed eyes that were surrounded by full lashes.

“Where is he?”

Jooheon smiled a little dumbly. “Sorry Minah, I’m not sure what you’re talking about…?” He swallowed as he remembered how Hoseok had thanked him happily earlier for agreeing to cover for him, speeding out of the theater when everybody was distracted by the current scenes on stage. He had gone so quickly, Jooheon would hope no one noticed when he disappeared.

 _“Hoseok,”_ she said sharply. “Where is _Hoseok?”_

Blinking, Jooheon said, “You’re his fiancée, shouldn’t you know?”

“So do you know where he is or not?” She glanced at the door he was trying to open. “Or are you sneaking away from rehearsal too?”

Jooheon scoffed. “No, I just left my dinner in here.”

“Well, if you know where he is then tell him that Hyungwon is calling for him!” she snapped.

“I thought Captain Hook didn’t have any more scenes—”

“Really, Jooheon? You thought we would stick to our _tentative_ schedule for the day? And we aren’t even halfway through rehearsal, he has no business leaving this early.” The way Minah glowered at him almost made Jooheon want to snap something back, but he knew better to keep his mouth shut. “I _know_ I saw him earlier but now Hoseok isn’t in there and his _understudy_ is on stage instead. Now tell me where he is!”

“I don’t know where he is!” Jooheon exclaimed. “You act like I keep tabs on him or something!”

“You’re his best man!”

“Yeah, his best man, not his _mom!”_

Minah groaned in annoyance and looked around the parking lot restlessly. “He has a costume fitting and we have to go get him measured for his tuxedo afterwards—! Am I the only one who cares?!”

Jooheon shook his head, giving her a half hearted shrug as he responded, “Not my business.”

Minah turned back to him with a sharp look in her eyes. “You know about the rumors, don’t you?” she hissed.

 _“What_ rumors,” Jooheon asked uninterestedly.

“The ones about Hoseok,” she said, “and another man. Those rumors.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t play dumb, Jooheon, everyone at the theater is talking about it! Ever since Sewoon told everyone and Hoseok’s been disappearing—!”

“It’s really _not,”_ Jooheon interrupted, “any of their business.”

“It’s—!”

Jooheon continued, paying no heed to how she was beginning to flare in anger. “And I think the first step to a healthy relationship is trust. So if you really want answers, you should ask Hoseok yourself.”

She sighed sharply, pursing her lips and crossing her arms as she went silent. Then after a few moments, she looked back at Jooheon and asked, “Do you think…? Do you think the rumors are true at all?”

Jooheon licked his teeth and clacked his tongue and replied, “I don’t know. Where Hoseok is is none of my personal business since I respect his privacy. But I do know that if you don’t want anyone starting rumors about us, you’d better get back inside and just let me get my dinner.”

 _“What,”_ she said lowly as her eyes narrowed again.

“I’m saying that since the people that work here like gossip so much, you’d better turn around and leave before they think something of this confrontation,” he said. “They seem to like sticking their noses into places they don’t belong lately.”

With a stomp of her heel, she turned around, hissing, “You’re _impossible!”_ as she left.

Jooheon watched as she walked away angrily, making sure she was out of sight before letting out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and slumping on to his car. Hoseok owed him big time for this.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Boys, what’s going on?” Kihyun groaned. He had been cooped up in his room all day when his headache returned but now that his children were invading his room excitedly, bouncing on the balls of their feet as they surrounded him, it seemed to pulse a little harder.

“We have a surprise for you!” Jangjun announced as he hopped onto the bed. “Because you’re not so sick anymore!”

Kihyun smiled at his kids weakly as he sat up. “I am feeling little better,” he agreed. “But what’s gotten into you? What surprise are you talking about?”

“It’s a secret,” Donghyun whispered. “But you have to get dressed for it. Wear a big jacket and a scarf,” he said.

Jibeom nodded. “It’s kind of cold outside because it’s nighttime.”

Kihyun glanced around at how all three of his kids were dressed in warm jackets and beanies. The nights were cold around this time of year but he didn’t understand where they were going.

“Did Minhyuk dress you?” he asked as he got out of bed.

Jibeom shook his head. “We dressed ourselves because Minhyuk is going to the movies with Changkyun tonight.”

“What?” Kihyun asked as he pulled on a big jacket from his closet. He glanced out the window at the dark sky and saw how the trees outside his windows were swaying from a breeze. Maybe it would be best to put on a scarf as well. “Minhyuk left you guys home alone?”

“No—” Donghyun began but then shut his mouth. He let out a giggle and tugged at Kihyun’s hand. “Just come outside, you’ll see!”

“Boys, you know I’m not well enough to go to the park—”

“Not the park, the backyard!” Jangjun told him.

Kihyun made a face of confusion as his boys took his hands and led him out of his room and to the kitchen , where their back door was. Raising his eyebrow, Kihyun asked, “Why are we going to the backyard? What did you boys do?”

“Just come see,” Jibeom giggled excitedly.

They tugged him out slowly and Kihyun smiled at them so fondly. They looked so excited to just be holding his hands again and talking with him. It almost felt like they had been away from each other for some time, since all Kihyun could do these past few days was eat and sleep in his room.

“Okay, but you guys better not have destroyed anything in our yard,” he warned.

“We didn’t!”

Kihyun was ready to speak again, but when Jangjun opened the backyard door, he was left momentarily speechless. Their back lawn had a giant blanket laid over it as well as a makeshift fort on one end of the blanket. On the other end were some big pillows and a burner with a pot on top of it. But more importantly, Hoseok was sitting in the middle of the whole thing, smiling at him warmly.

“Hoseok?” Kihyun gasped softly. The night air chilled the tips of his ears and his nose but he could only feel warm inside. “What are you doing here?”

Hoseok stood up and grinned brightly at him. “I heard you were feeling a bit better but you still hadn’t been outside to the park. So I wanted to make something small here for you.” He shrugged. “Not quite the park, but it’s outdoors. And I’m making you not-bland soup!”

Kihyun laughed lightly as he joined him on the blanket. “You didn’t have to,” he said. He glanced around in awe then asked, “You did this all by yourself?”

“No! I helped!” Jangjun exclaimed. “I made the fort!”

Donghyun nodded. “I did too! I brought the pillows out.”

“And I helped cut vegetables for the soup!” Jibeom said proudly.

“You did?” Kihyun laughed, crouching down to meet his sons’ eyes. “Wow, you’re all very grown up, aren’t you?”

Jangjun nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! I am a big boy now, papa! I can take care of everybody when you get sick.”

“Really? My Jangjun has grown up now, hasn’t he?” Kihyun laughed, pinching Jangjun’s cheeks. Jangjun beamed proudly and Kihyun kissed his forehead. “My big boy.”

"That's right!" Jangjun grinned, clearly pleased. "So next time you get sick, I can take care of the whole house!"

"Wow, if my Jangjun is all grown up, you can take care of your brothers and I can go to Neverland, right?" Kihyun teased, hugging him close. "Papa will go to Neverland and you can take care of your brothers with Minhyuk?"

Jangjun's face fell as he exclaimed, "No! You've got to stay here with us! So that we can go to Neverland together when we're older!"

Hoseok smiled as he stroked Jangjun's hair, also bending down to meet him at eye level. "How can you go to Neverland when you're not a lost boy?" he asked.

Jibeom spoke, "Well... if we go to Neverland, we'll be lost boys, right?"

"But lost boys don't have any parents," Hoseok told him. "And you boys have got a very good, wonderful parent right here." He touched Kihyun's shoulder and grinned at the boys. "Your papa is the reason why you're not lost boys like the ones on Neverland."

"But if papa leaves us," Donghyun asked as he plopped down onto the blanket in a criss-cross position, "then won't we be lost boys? So we can follow him to Neverland if we become lost boys then."

Kihyun laughed and kissed his forehead. "Maybe," he whispered. "If Peter Pan will let you! If I go to Neverland, it'll be so that I can be a papa for all the lost boys! So that way they can come down here, to Earth, and grow up just like you boys," he said as he poked Donghyun's nose.

Donghyun giggled and Hoseok positively smiled at the sound. Jibeom tugged at Kihyun's arm, his eyes big and wide as he asked, "Papa? Where is Neverland?"

Kihyun's smile quirked as he looked up at the sky. Then he looked at the all of their  faces and chuckled. "How about we eat first and then I can show you where Neverland is?"

"Okay!" they all agreed in unison.

Hoseok nodded as he lead Kihyun over to the burner at the edge of the blanket. Kihyun sat down with him and he pulled out two bowls. "I hope you don't mind," he murmured, "but I fed the boys beforehand so they just want to play in the fort."

"Oh," Kihyun murmured as he turned to look at the boys. They were running in and out of a small fort made with blankets held up by some plastic poles. He smiled as they ran to and from inside it, holding up flashlights to make shadow puppets on the cloth. "That's alright," he said softly with a smile. "Let them play."

Hoseok switched off the burner beneath the bubbling pot of soup, smiling gently as he ladled some of it into the bowls. Kihyun grinned at the smell alone, a foreign feeling of hunger entering his stomach.

"That smells really nice," he said. Hoseok smiled his thanks at him and handed him a bowl. "Did you make it?"

"Yup! Glad to hear that your sense of smell is back." Hoseok beamed. "And I promise this time that it's not bland! It's tastes good, I swear."

Kihyun held the bowl up to smell the aroma and his cheeks flushed. "I'm excited," he said. "I've never had anyone but Minhyuk cook for me."

"Then this will be a treat," Hoseok assured brightly. He held up his own bowl and raised his eyebrows. "Cheers?"

"Cheers."

The light that came from Kihyun's eyes as he sipped the soup for the first time absolutely elated Hoseok's heart. Everything about Kihyun at this moment elated him, in fact. He looked so soft and warm in his big jacket and even bigger scarf. His hands looked small in his sleeves as he lifted the bowl up to his mouth and the smile he gave as he sighed happily while steam billowed from his mouth was one that Hoseok would remember forever.

"Hoseok, this is really nice actually," Kihyun told him with a bright smile and even brighter eyes.

Hoseok grinned at the compliment as he drank some of his own soup. "It's good right? I practiced it before I came here so that it was right. I didn't want to mess it up."

"And why's that?" Kihyun asked cheekily.

"Well, because," Hoseok smiled down at the bowl in his lap and tried to will the blush to say off of his cheeks, "because it's like your celebratory _You're-Not-As-Sick-Anymore_ soup. And it can't taste bad, if that’s the case."

Kihyun smiled at him warmly and said, "Hoseok, you've been doing so much for me lately. You really didn't need to. I don't know how to thank you."

"I've told you before Kihyun, there's really no need for thanking or owing anything to me. I just want to help you."

Kihyun paused to stare at Hoseok with soft eyes as he gently whispered out, "Why? You have a pretty busy job and a fiancée at home, why would you get so involved with me and my boys?"

"You know... I'm not all too sure myself," Hoseok admitted with a soft chuckle. "I didn't really know I had this inside of me before I met you guys. And I know we haven't known each other very long but you guys are really special to me. That's why I would really enjoy it if you guys could attend my wedding."

The light in Kihyun's eyes dimmed momentarily before he pulled the smile back onto his face. "Right," he murmured under his breath. "I'll try to be there."

It became silent after that as they finished their soup. Hoseok wasn't sure if he said something wrong or not, since Kihyun seemed to slightly shy away afterwards. They finished their soup to the sound of the boys playing raucously behind them. And Hoseok realized that he could kind of get used to this. Maybe not having backyard picnics all the time but the feeling that was in the air—that feeling of family, warmth and affection—it was something he liked. And he decided that yeah, he really could get used to it.

As soon as they were done, Kihyun called the three boys over and they clambered out of their small tent and ran to him excitedly.

"Turn off all your flashlights boys," he told them as Jibeom took a seat in his lap. He looped his arms around him and pointed up at the sky. "I'll show you where Neverland is."

Hoseok leaned back on his arms and gazed up at the sky as the other boys did. The stars were bright on clear skies like tonight. He was ready for Kihyun to start speaking when Donghyun crawled over onto his lap as well and Hoseok felt himself warm up as he hugged Donghyun close to his chest.

“Is Neverland a star?” Jangjun asked as he held Kihyun’s hand.

Kihyun looked up at the sky and pointed a finger towards the twinkling stars. “Yup. Neverland is all the way up there.” He looked to Jangjun and smiled. “Do you think you can guess which star it is?”

“Is it that one?” Donghyun asked, pointing a small finger to the sky and towards a tiny belt of stars.

“No baby, that’s not Neverland,” Kihyun replied softly with the lightest of laughs.

“What about…” Jibeom hummed. He thrust his hand up towards the sky and to a fat star gittering in the night. “That one?”

Kihyun shook his head. “That’s a star called Cor Caroli. But that’s not Neverland.”

Jibeom scrunched his face up as he asked, “What’s Co-Cor C-Car-Caroli?” Hoseok laughed and brushed Jibeom’s cheek as he struggled to pronounce it.

Hoseok raised an eyebrow over at Kihyun and smiled crookedly. “I didn’t know you knew so much about stars.”

Kihyun snickered. “Well yeah, when I was in college I really wanted to do something in astronomy. But,” he shrugged, “things just didn’t work out that way.”

Hoseok hummed as he stared at Kihyun’s side profile and how his eyes glimmered with something wistful and faraway. He snapped out of it when Kihyun looked back up at the sky.

“Neverland,” he said, “is _riiight_ there.” He pointed and chuckled as all of the boys squinted to see where he was pointing.

“Where?” Jangjun asked.

Kihyun leaned his body over down to his eye level and pointed up to the sky. “You see that big star? That’s the evening star. And Neverland is right there—the second star to the right and straight on till morning,” he whispered.

“There?” Jibeom whispered.

“Right there,” Kihyun replied with a nod. He looked up with a smile and continued, “Nobody gets old in Neverland.”

Jangjun stared up with wide, curious eyes. “Really? How do you get there?”

“Would you like me to take you?” Kihyun asked with a raise of his eyebrows. He chuckled when all the three boys nodded. Humming to himself, he said, “We’ll have to build a boat.”

“A boat?”

“A boat! We have to sail there!”

Hoseok chuckled as he raised an eyebrow. “I thought you had to fly.”

“Of course, there’s some flying,” Kihyun replied with a teasing grin. “But Neverland is so far, pixie dust can only fly you so far of the way. We _have_ to build a boat—that’s the only way to sail on the moonlight.”

“You can’t sail on moonlight!” Jangjun exclaimed.

Kihyun gasped. “You can’t? But that’s the only way to get to Neverland! Sailing to it on moonlight.”

Donghyun blinked up at the skies curiously. “How long does it take?”

“Hm… perhaps a light year. And… a day,” he replied. He laughed at Jangjun’s confused face and leaned down to kiss his cheek. “Or if you’re really good at flying, you can fly.”

“How do you fly?”

Kihyun grinned and chuckled lightly. “Well, Peter Pan has to come get you himself! And then he can give you pixie dust. And you can put it on yourself and on the boat. Pixie dust is the thing that can make sure you’ll be able to fly to Neverland.”

Donghyun jumped up in Hoseok’s lap as he asked, “Is it nice? In Neverland?”

“Oh, very nice,” Kihyun said with a confident nod. “Nobody gets old or gets sick. Everybody lives forever.” He smiled sadly up the sky and softly added, “It’s safe up there. Above the clouds.”

And the stars were so far away but the small family looked so entranced by the twinkling specks in the sky. Hoseok couldn’t focus on the stars in the sky when Kihyun’s eyes were twinkling like stars right beside him. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were brighter than anything Hoseok had ever seen and there was something about this image of him, his beautiful grin bathed in moonlight, that Hoseok was almost afraid to touch him. Something was so softly ethereal about how Kihyun smiled up at the sky and spoke to his children while holding them. He looked so weary but at the same time so young in his large scarf.

Hoseok was sure his cheeks were pink from the night air and not the way Kihyun made his heart flutter.

They spent the rest of their night together looking at stars and making shadow puppets on the blanket walls of the fort. Even as shadow puppet characters, Hoseok’s would always put Kihyun’s in jeopardy and his boys would band together to protect and save him. Hoseok always found it endearing how much they loved their father. And maybe the way he held onto Kihyun’s hand as the boys’ small ones rushed to split them apart also added to the pinkness of Hoseok’s cheeks.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Soon it got late and Donghyun’s eyes were fluttering shut and Jibeom’s head was starting to nod off. Kihyun chuckled and told Hoseok that he should probably get the boys off to bed. So as Kihyun took the boys inside, Hoseok cleaned up the backyard and brought the pot inside to wash in the sink. As he washed the dishes with his sleeves rolled up, he realized that the house was calm and quiet and it felt _different_ somehow. Like something had sparked or changed in the atmosphere, but Hoseok wasn’t sure what.

“Hey,” Kihyun murmured as he stepped into the kitchen.

Hoseok looked over his shoulder with a smile and then refocused on the dishes he was washing. “Are the boys asleep?”

Kihyun smiled as he stood at Hoseok’s side. “Yeah,” he nodded, “just about. It was hard to keep them awake long enough for them to take their vitamins but I managed.” He stifled a cough into his fist and said, “What you did for the boys today was really sweet. Thank you.”

“It wasn’t for the boys, it was for you,” Hoseok told him gently. He turned off the water and shook the excess off his hands. “I know you guys haven’t been able to go to the park together and I’m sure you needed the fresh air.”

Kihyun stared at him wordlessly before looking down. “Yeah,” he muttered. “I suppose. Thank you, either way.”

“It’s not a problem,” Hoseok replied as he reached up to push Kihyun’s hair back. Kihyun moved his head away from his hands, refusing to make eye contact and Hoseok pursed his lip and brought his hand back down. Rubbing his neck, he continued, “You guys mean a lot to me and I really don’t mind helping out. And I was lucky enough for Jooheon to lend me some of his stuff for tonight.”

Kihyun shook his head and laughed lightly. “You shouldn’t have gone this far for us, Hoseok. It’s not necessary and I’d hate to think—”

“Kihyun, it’s fine,” Hoseok insisted. “How many times do I need to tell you that I love helping around? It’s honestly a joy.”

Kihyun coughed again to hide the blush on his cheeks and stammered, “Wow, it’s getting kind of stuffy in here. Should probably, um, take off my scarf to help with congestion or something,” he rambled unknowingly. He moved to take off his scarf but his fingers just couldn’t seem to pull it the right way. “Wish the air in here was as crisp as outside’s. I could just keep this on instead.”

Hoseok laughed as he reached over himself. “Here, let me help.”

Kihyun looked like he wanted to protest but Hoseok insisted on helping him unwrap the big, fluffy scarf from around his neck. He peeled the cashmere away gently, his hands carefully moving around Kihyun’s head. But the backs of his hands, still warm from the sink, would brush against Kihyun’s cheeks and neck anyways despite his efforts and Hoseok thought that this was the first time he had really touched Kihyun like this.

His hand got paused on the softness of Kihyun’s skin as he removed the last of the scarf and he couldn’t pull himself away. Kihyun gazed up at him with wide eyes and red cheeks as Hoseok set the scarf down on the counter.

“Hoseok?” Kihyun asked quietly, but Hoseok didn’t hear him. Or perhaps he wasn’t listening.

He lifted his other hand back to Kihyun’s cheek and then both of his hands were there, warm against Kihyun’s skin. He wasn’t sure if Kihyun’s cheeks were so hot from his being shy or from his being sick. Frankly, Hoseok thought, it could have been both. His thumbs grazed over Kihyun’s skin gently as he stared into those warm, bright eyes and everything in the room seemed to fall quiet. It was quiet and it was right.

And then suddenly, Hoseok found himself leaning in. He found himself tilting his head and closing his eyes as he leaned in and pressed his lips to Kihyun’s; ever so softly, ever so gently and ever so carefully. He felt Kihyun jump slightly before relaxing and returning the kiss as his hands curled into the front of Hoseok’s clothes. Their lips moved so smoothly and naturally against each other’s, it was like they had practiced kissing each other for ages.

It was when Hoseok tilted his head for more, softly sucking on Kihyun’s bottom lip, that Kihyun pulled away with a sharp breath. And when Hoseok opened his eyes, he suddenly felt guilty for the hurt in Kihyun’s eyes that was as clear as day.

“Kihyun,” he began, breathing heavily as Kihyun’s eyes hardened. “Kihyun, I—”

“Hoseok, you shouldn’t have done that,” Kihyun said softly. His voice was soft but it shook as if he were to cry. But still, there were no tears in his eyes. Only a sort of pain that Hoseok hadn’t seen before. “Hoseok,” he sounded like he was begging, “that was wrong.”

Hoseok heart plummeted to his feet as he shook his head. “Kihyun. Please, I—”

“You have to go,” Kihyun said curtly, removing Hoseok’s hands from his face. “I shouldn’t have let you stay, I-I shouldn’t have—” He shook his head as he breathed harshly. “I need you to go, Hoseok.”

“Kihyun.” Hoseok reached for Kihyun’s face again but Kihyun turned away sharply, his hands shaking as he closed his eyes in refusal to meet Hoseok’s.

 _“Hoseok,”_ he pleaded in a hushed voice. “Just _go.”_

And Hoseok didn’t want to hurt him more than he already knew he had, so he obeyed. Quietly, he said his goodbyes and left the home without another word. He wanted desperately to have some kind of explanation and he wanted to hold Kihyun and promise him the world but he couldn’t. So he did what Kihyun wanted and he left.

As soon as he was sure Hoseok was gone, Kihyun went to lock the door. When it was locked, his hands grasped at the wood shakingly as he tried to steady his breathing and steady himself. Everything hurt like he was being suffocated—like there wasn’t enough oxygen in the air and every breath he took just became more painful.

He sat down against the wall and clutched at his chest as he coughed violently. He hated how he was so painfully elated. He hated that even though everything about this down to its very core was wrong, his heart soared like it had wings when Hoseok kissed him. And he wanted nothing more than to be kissed again but Kihyun knew better than that.

He couldn’t understand it. Kisses were usually supposed to take the bitterness away.

Sitting here in the dark, shaking in the wake of whatever confusion he was in, he just wished for nothing more than for Minhyuk to be here to comfort and console him. But Minhyuk was out and he was alone. So Kihyun hugged his knees to his chest and tried his best to steady his breathing.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there. But his reverie was only broken when he heard a soft voice come from down the hallway.

“Papa? Why are you crying?”

Kihyun looked up and found Donghyun standing barefoot in front of him, rubbing his eyes sleepily. Quickly, Kihyun wiped away at the tears he didn’t even realize had fallen and swallowed. “Donghyun.” He blinked away the wetness in his eyes as Donghyun approached him. “What are you doing awake, baby?”

“I couldn’t sleep because I had a bad dream,” he said with a pout. He waddled over, his eyelids heavy as he stepped between Kihyun’s legs and reached out to touch Kihyun’s face. “Are you okay papa?”

Kihyun smiled softly and brushed Donghyun’s hair back. “Are you okay, baby?” he asked instead. He wrapped his arms around Donghyun’s body warmly and kissed his forehead.

“I’m okay,” Donghyun replied. “I can’t remember what I dreamed but I just remember it being scary. But,” he said, “are you okay, papa?”

Kihyun stared into his son’s eyes, the light from the kitchen setting his face aglow in the dark hallway. He wet his lips and forced himself to nod. “Papa… papa is okay. He’s just not feeling well because he’s sick.” He smiled. “That’s all.”

“Does it hurt?” Donghyun asked.

“Only a little.” Kihyun sniffed. He didn’t remember starting to cry. He wiped the tears as quickly as they appeared because he could not cry in front of his child—never. So he pulled his smile more and said, “Only a little bit.”

Donghyun frowned and followed Kihyun’s example, reaching over to brush his bangs away. His small hands were soft and gentle. “Should we call Mr. Hoseok back to make you feel better?”

“No,” Kihyun said quickly. Maybe too quickly considering how surprised Donghyun seemed to look. “No, baby, it’s not something Mr. Hoseok can fix.” But Kihyun couldn’t bear to allow Donghyun to know that Hoseok was the reason for his pain.

“Will Uncle Hyunwoo have to take care of us again like last time?” he asked instead.

Kihyun smiled at him and held him close. “No. Uncle Hyunwoo doesn’t need to come—papa isn’t going anywhere.” He kissed his cheek comfortingly. “There’s no need for him to come.”

“Do you think maybe…?” Donghyun asked slowly. “We could go somewhere?”

“Yeah? Like where?” Kihyun whispered in a soft voice.

“Neverland?”

Donghyun’s answer made Kihyun’s smile drop and his eyes widen in slight shock. He stared a Donghyun in surprise, and asked, “...What?”

Twiddling his fingers and staring down at his feet from the place he stood nestled Kihyun’s arms and legs, he softly said, “Neverland, maybe? You said no one could be sick there.”

Kihyun felt those familiar tears well up in his eyes again as he smiled and stroked Donghyun’s cheeks. “Oh, baby… baby, we can’t go.” He chuckled softly, almost sadly. “Neverland is just… too far.”

Donghyun frowned as he looked up at Kihyun with big, bright eyes. “You won’t even go by yourself? So you could get better?”

“No, baby,” he replied softly. He leaned in to kiss his forehead again. “Even though I’m hurting I can’t go to Neverland. I would miss you too much. And besides!” He tried again at a smile. “Peter Pan would have to take me. He’s the only one that has pixie dust.”

“We can’t go by ourselves?”

Kihyun shook his head, smiling sadly at his son’s dejected look. “No, baby. We can’t.”

It was quiet for a few moments, Donghyun staring at his father with such clear eyes, Kihyun felt as though he was looking into his soul and finding answers. All the answers he tried to hide—all the pain he was to keep underneath his smiles and warm hugs. In that moment he felt as though Donghyun, despite his young age and small hands, could see them all. He could see the way Kihyun loved and hated Hoseok, could see how Kihyun hated how much joy Hoseok brought him, could see all the pain Kihyun felt from keeping everything inside. Donghyun was still a child. Even if he could see all his pain, he still wouldn’t understand. And Kihyun found comfort in his innocence.

But perhaps his son could still feel the pain because to more of Kihyun’s surprise, Donghyun was leaning forward and wrapping his arms around Kihyun’s neck, leaving the softest kiss on his cheek as he placed his chin on Kihyun’s shoulder. “I wish we could go to Neverland. I wish you wouldn’t be sick.”

Kihyun didn’t know why he sat there, frozen against the wall, as his son embraced him.

Kihyun felt the tears prickle the back of his eyes again as his shakingly brought his hands up to hug Donghyun’s small body closer to his. His entire body curled into the embrace of his son and Kihyun had never felt so vulnerable before. He bit his lip to conceal the hiccups that threatened to break the silence as he lowered his head down to bury it into Donghyun’s tiny shoulders—shoulders that shouldn’t have to bear the weight of anything yet, let alone his father’s tears. But despite that, he could feel Donghyun’s small hands come up to pat him on the back, telling him that everything was okay, even if he couldn’t understand.

“I wish you wouldn’t hurt anymore,” Donghyun said.

He hugged Donghyun closer and tried to will the salty tears to stop falling from his eyes but he could feel himself breaking down, crying onto Donghyun’s small shoulders. His shaking hands felt large against Donghyun’s body as he held him close and cried. He couldn’t find it in himself to stop despite trying to keep his crying as small and quiet as possible. Donghyun only tightened his arms around his father’s neck, almost afraid to let him go.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there in the dark with Donghyun in his arms. But they soon fell asleep like that, against the wall, Kihyun’s tears dried on his cheeks. He only woke up when Minhyuk came home and woke him with a loud gasp, his voice dull against Kihyun’s ears as he asked what was wrong and what had happened.

But Kihyun couldn’t find it in himself to tell Minhyuk what had happened. All he knew was that he felt like he was floating but he wasn’t left feeling magical or breathless, instead left feeling like a jettisoned astronaut with no way to come back down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello how are u all feeling we're about to board the angst train
> 
> twt: [kkulseoki](https://twitter.com/kkulseoki)  
> cc : [quinseok](https://curiouscat.me/quinseok)


	8. and the world's turned upside down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for another late update wheeze

Hoseok was sitting on his sofa at home, his head in his hands as he tried to make sense of how he was feeling because at the moment, nothing made sense. Minah wasn’t home yet so he took the time to sit in the silence and really think about what happened earlier. And he still couldn’t wrap his mind around it because he didn’t understand.

He didn’t know what made him kiss Kihyun that night. 

Surely, there was a plethora of reasons that Hoseok could identify. Kihyun looked adorable and the atmosphere was warm — that had to have been the reasons. But even with those in mind, Hoseok still felt like he was missing pieces to his inner puzzle. More than anything, he needed to call Jooheon and meet with him because there was no way he was keeping this to himself. The strange feeling of guilt eating away at his chest wasn’t something he would be able to internalize for very long. 

But before he could take out his phone, the front door unlocked and Minah came home. Hoseok stood up from the couch to greet her but when she came in, he didn’t expect her to look so angry. 

She narrowed her eyes at him, her hand throwing her keys onto the counter angrily as she slammed her purse onto the counter. “Where were you?” she seethed.

Hoseok furrowed his eyebrows. “What are you talking about?” 

_ “You!”  _ she snapped. “Where were you today?! You weren’t at rehearsal,  _ again!”  _

He bit back the urge to groan and roll his eyes. “Kihyun’s still recovering so I’m helping him out. I think that takes more priority over rehearsal.”

“Kihyun?  _ Kihyun?! Kihyun _ is taking priority over you landing a contract with  _ Chae Hyungwon?!”  _

“Yes, he happens to be!” Hoseok barked, anger beginning to flare in his chest. “Minah, I know you’re kind of invested into it but it’s  _ my  _ career. And I will make my own decisions!”

Minah raised her eyebrows, her tongue poking her cheek as she placed her hands on her hips. “Oh,  _ that’s  _ what you think this is about? You think I’m furious because you skipped rehearsal for this Kihyun guy again?” she asked with a lowered voice. Hoseok would have been slightly intimidated if he wasn’t beginning to boil with anger also. 

“Don’t see why not,” Hoseok taunted. “You’ve had  _ plenty  _ of things to say about him lately.”

“While  _ you  _ haven’t! You won’t tell me a single thing about him, Hoseok, and why is that?! Do you even realize how many people at the theater are whispering behind our backs about me, you and this-this  _ Kihyun?!”  _

Hoseok’s frown deepened. “You know better than to believe rumors, Minah.”

“Well, these rumors are the only information I have on him since you don’t  _ tell me anything,”  _ she spat as she crossed her arms. “And where there’s smoke there’s fire, isn’t there? So tell me why everyone at the theater thinks you’re being more intimate with him than me!” 

“It’s none of their business!” Hoseok shouted.

“None of theirs, but you better believe that it’s part of mine!” Minah yelled back. “Tell me why people have been telling me that you would go to the park and have your arms around this man’s waist!”

Hoseok froze in his spot, his eyes narrowing sharply as he hissed, “How do they know that? How has  _ anyone  _ known about that?”

“And why do you keep trying to hide it?” Minah demanded. “Why do you keep acting like this guy is some sort of secret?! Why haven’t you even introduced him to me?! Why are you so bent on keeping him away from me? Are you actually hiding something?” 

“No!” Hoseok snapped. “But  _ I  _ need my own space  _ too, _ Minah, you can’t stick your nose into parts of my life that I don’t want to share with you!”

Her eyes narrowed as she stomped her foot, “Hoseok, listen to yourself! We’re about to be married and you’re hiding things from me?!” 

“I’m not hiding  _ any _ thing!”

“Then why do you keep this man, this  _ Kihyun,” _ she shouted, and held out her hand, counting angrily on her fingers, “that you have put your arms around the waist of, that you have  _ skipped  _ rehearsals for, that you insist on keeping tucked away in your private life —why do you keep his existence such a big secret? ! The only other people I know that’s even  _ heard  _ of Kihyun is Jooheon and Changkyun!”

“Well, it seems to me like everybody has heard about him considering how much they want to talk behind my back!”

“No one would  _ have  _ to talk behind your back if you stopped being so suspicious! And, I don’t know, maybe actually showed up to rehearsals?! Hoseok, you’re playing Captain Hook for fuck’s  _ sake! _ Your  _ understudy  _ has been getting more stage time than you!”

Hoseok scoffed and rolled his eyes. “I don’t know how many times I’m going to tell you that Kihyun is suffering right now and he’s got three boys, someone has to help him out — !”

_ “And _ you hang out with his  _ three  _ boys?!”

The laugh Hoseok let out was incredulous and angry. “Holy shit — do you have a problem with me hanging out with  _ kids  _ now?!”

“It’s one thing if it’s you and some boys but you with a man and  _ his  _ boys?!” Minah yelled back harshly. “And getting caught with your arms around his waist?! What is that supposed to mean?!” 

“For fuck’s sake, you make it sound like I’m in love with him!” 

Minah barked out a short laugh. “For all I know, you might be! All you do is skip rehearsals to be with him! All those times you used to come home late! I  _ know  _ it’s because you’re out with him! I  _ know  _ he’s been distracting you!”

“You don’t know anything!” Hoseok snapped, his eyes narrowing. “You don’t know  _ anything  _ about him!”

“Yeah. You intend to keep it that way, don’t you?” Minah glowered at him. 

She didn’t wait to see Hoseok’s face of shock and offense before turning around on her heels and angrily strutting away to their bedroom. 

_ “God, what the fuck is your problem?!”  _ Hoseok yelled as he followed her, his voice scratching as it raised.

“Don’t turn this on me!” she shouted back without turning around. “You act like I’m the bad guy! I’ve done nothing to warrant you yelling at me!”

“What, I can’t get mad at you for invading my personal business?!” 

“Didn’t really need to think I would have to spell it out for you, but you don’t seem to be catching on!”

Hoseok laughed incredulously and rolled his eyes. “What do you want me to say —to stop seeing Kihyun?!”

Minah turned around in front of the dresser, her eyes sharp and narrow as she poked a sharp, manicured nail at his chest. “Maybe that’s exactly what I want. Maybe what I want if for you to buckle down, think about your future and focus instead of playing around with this _ man—” _

“Minah, I swear, if you—”

“—behind my back! Hoseok, I promise you,” she seethed bitingly, “that if you skip another rehearsal, I’m  _ not  _ going to cover your ass.”

“I see. So I’m supposed to thank you now,” he whispered back in a scoff. “For covering for me?”

She snorted. “Who do you think is keeping everyone off your ass so far? Jooheon?”

“That’s—”

“Nobody part of the theatre is stupid, Hoseok,” she spat as she walked past him and to the bathroom. “And if I didn’t know any better, I would think you were cheating on me too.”

Had Minah stayed back and looked, maybe she would have been able to see the way Hoseok’s face balked as though he was caught committing a crime. And perhaps he felt that he was.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Do you like pepper on your pizza?”

“Like… sweet peppers or spicy peppers?”

“Spicy.”

“Uhhh… sometimes? Really depends on the type of pizza it’s on.”

“Okay, then let’s say pineapple pizza.”

“What—? Who puts pineapple on pizza?”

“You don’t?”

_ “No.” _

Jooheon made a face at Changkyun. “How have we been friends this whole time if you don’t like pineapple on your pizza?”

Changkyun shrugged as they walked together backstage. “I don’t know—I’m just not into it.”

“Sweet and savory is a whole culinary experience, you’re missing out.”

_ “...Am  _ I though…?”

“You literally are.”

“Hm… I don’t know.”

“Okay, after rehearsal, we are going out and I am buying you a slice of my favorite pineapple pizza— _ Holy—!”  _

Jooheon’s scream stopped abruptly when a large hand was put over his mouth. He pushed himself off, panting heavily as he turned to face the person that had yanked him away from Changkyun and into one of the prop closets in the first place.

“Hoseok!”

Hoseok hushed him quickly, his eyes wide as he glanced around as if there could be other people inside of the prop closet. “I need to talk to you.”

“Talk to me—? In the  _ prop  _ closet?” Jooheon sputtered. 

“Yeah.” Hoseok ran a hand through his hair as he locked the door. “I was going to message you but I—” he paused and sighed. “I got caught up.”

Jooheon raised an eyebrow. “...Okay. Hoseok, is something wrong?”

Hoseok breathed out heavily, shifting the weight of his feet in his spot as he stared up at the ceiling. “I… So, you know how I’ve been spending a lot of time with Kihyun and the boys, right? Almost every chance I get.”

“Yeah.” 

“And we’ve been getting really close.” He smiled to himself. “Being with them is so much fun, I can’t believe how… happy it’s made me. I really can’t imagine myself without them anymore.” His smile faded as he took in a sharp breath. “Which is why I need your help because—…because I think I made a mistake. And I don’t know if Kihyun hates me or if—”

“Hold on, hold on,” Jooheon interrupted quickly, raising his hands as if he was calming down  an animal, “what do you  _ mean  _ mistake? How bad is this  _ mistake?” _

Hoseok made a noise and looked away in embarrassment. Rubbing his neck, he quietly replied, “Kind of bad. Like, I’ve been trying to call Kihyun and Minhyuk to talk to them about it but they’ve all been ignoring my calls.”

Jooheon made a face of mixed shock and concern. “Uh… that sounds pretty bad.”

“I know, which is why I needed to talk to you. I’m—” he was cut off when the sound of knocking interrupted him. Hoseok nearly jumped in surprise, his heart racing at he stared at the prop closet door. “Who—?”

“Oh,” Jooheon interrupted, “that’s probably Changkyun. I was kind of talking to him when you yanked me in here.”

“Oh—”

Jooheon’s hand hovered over the doorknob as he asked, “You mind if I…?”

“No,” Hoseok shook his head, “go ahead. Changkyun’s basically part of this too.”

“Cool, thanks.”

Jooheon unlocked the door for them to find Changkyun standing right in front of it, his face dazed and confused as he stared at the two of them. “Okay so… I didn’t hallucinate that I was talking to Jooheon this entire time…?”

Jooheon grinned at him. “Nope. That pineapple pizza thing is still very real. But Hoseok pulled me in here to ask my help because he, uh,” Jooheon’s lips pursed, “apparently made a mistake towards Kihyun and the boys.”

Changkyun’s eyes narrowed. “What  _ kind  _ of mistake…?”

With a nervous sigh through his nose, Hoseok wringing his fingers subconsciously as he lowered his voice and muttered, “You guys can’t let anyone else know. You can’t tell  _ anybody  _ else, alright?”

Changkyun and Jooheon shared an almost worried glance—what could Hoseok have done that they had to keep under such airtight secrecy.

“A night ago, when I went to go surprise Kihyun and his kids,” he said slowly, “we had a lot of fun. And after Kihyun sent the boys to bed we were talking in the kitchen and I—” Hoseok visibly swallowed, “I kissed him.”

Hoseok wasn’t sure if Jooheon and Changkyun’s silence were from shock or disbelief, but either way, he didn’t like the suspense in how long they were taking to answer. Jooheon was first to speak, a type of pained disbelief in his eyes that Hoseok didn’t want to see.

“You  _ what?”  _

Hoseok gnawed on his lower lip. “I-I… kissed Kihyun.”

Changkyun’s eyebrows furrowed softly. “But… you’re engaged. To Minah. How could you kiss—!” The darkening look in his eyes made Hoseok feel unsettled, almost unnerved.

“I know! I’m just—!”

“What were you thinking?!”

“I don’t know what I was thinking!” Hoseok replied miserably. “I don’t even know if I was thinking, I just—! Did it on my own, I don’t  _ know!” _

“Well, does  _ Minah  _ know?” Jooheon asked in a hushed whisper, sounding worried.

“Of course she doesn’t know! I can’t tell her that I kissed another man while we were engaged,” Hoseok hissed. “That would make me look like a cheater!”

“Except you  _ are,” _ Changkyun said. “You  _ are  _ a cheater.” The hard look in Changkyun’s eyes was almost offended and Hoseok wondered if it had been right to tell him. “Hoseok, what the fuck?”

“I’m sorry,” Hoseok pleaded. “I didn’t want to hurt his feelings—”

“It’s a little too late to care about his feelings, isn’t it?” Changkyun bit out, his eyes narrowing. “Why would you kiss him?”

“I—”

“I know you hang out with them and all but remember that I’ve still been friends with them for years,” Changkyun said. “And that I won’t let you hurt him.”

Hoseok frowned. “I didn’t mean to hurt him—!”

“But you did!”

“Hey, Changkyun,” Jooheon said suddenly, “calm down—”

“I didn’t give you information about Kihyun for you to enter his life and lead him on!”

Hoseok’s eyebrows furrowed. “I didn’t ask you so I could lead him on. I didn’t intend to kiss him!” 

“But you  _ did!”  _ Changkyun said again, harder. “Minhyuk had told me that Kihyun had been upset lately but I didn’t think it was because of you. If I had known, I wouldn’t have let you leave rehearsal—!”

“I said I didn’t mean to! I don’t know why I kissed him!”

Changkyun almost rolled his eyes. “You don’t know  _ why?!  _ What, so you kissed him and you didn’t  _ like  _ him?”

Hoseok felt any bubbling arguments get stuck in his throat as he stared at Changkyun’s angered face. He stammered out, “I-I-” 

“Or did you kiss him, knowing full well you’re engaged to somebody else?”

Jooheon looked between the two of them in concern. “Hey, Changkyun, maybe—”

“Hoseok, it’s really not my business whether you’ve fallen in love or out of love,” Changkyun stated chastely, “but even I know that cheating, even if you didn’t mean to, is wrong. And I hope you’re going to be responsible for the feelings of everybody.”

“I know,” Hoseok replied with a deepening frown, “I’m trying. But Kihyun won’t pick up my calls or answer my texts—neither will Minhyuk! And Minah’s doing a great job of watching me like a hawk.”

Jooheon could see disappointment fill Changkyun’s eyes. He had never seen Changkyun like this before—he knew him as the intern who was a little witty and a lot stressed but he had never seen Changkyun get so riled up. It almost seemed out of character, but Jooheon figured it meant that Kihyun was more important to Changkyun than he had previously known.

“I’m not surprised,” he muttered. “Minhyuk does a good job of keeping Kihyun out of pain.”

Hoseok narrowed his eyes, “What is that supposed to mean?” he asked. But Changkyun was already walking out of the closet, his steps stiff and his arms tense. Hoseok stared after him, confused, as he closed the door behind him. Turning back to Jooheon, he said, “That was weird.”

“It was?” Jooheon replied.

“Yeah. What kind of person’s personality flips so fast? I thought maybe I caught him in a bad mood, but he was fine before we started talking.” Hoseok frowned. “He’s being so weird.”

“I think he just cares a lot about Kihyun.” Jooheon didn’t think it was that strange. Blinking slowly, he started to speak cautiously. “Do you think… Do you think Changkyun is wrong?” 

Hoseok went silent, not having an answer for Jooheon. He stared down at his feet, an almost guilty look in his eyes that had Jooheon fearing what was going through his head. In the distance, Jooheon could hear the director calling for all the main characters to get on stage so he shuffled a little awkwardly, heading towards the door.

“We should go,” he said. 

Hoseok followed him silently and Jooheon could feel the confusion radiating from his body. He couldn’t imagine any way Hoseok could justify himself. If he had kissed Kihyun because he liked him, he would be cheating on Minah—but if he didn’t like Kihyun, he would be playing with his feelings. But all of Hoseok’s defenses were up and he hoped that they would come down sooner rather than later.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Is papa not getting any better…?” 

Minhyuk sighed as he pulled  blanket up to his chin and then crossed his arms in front of his chest. The three boys stood behind him, peeking at their resting father from behind Minhyuk. It had been a few days since they could all play in the backyard together. 

Kihyun smiled from the spot on his bed, saying, “What? You don’t think papa is getting better? But I’ve gotten so much stronger because of you boys!”

Jibeom frowned softly. “But you’re still in bed.”

“It’s bedtime, isn’t it?” Kihyun chuckled. He stifled a cough and felt himself sadden at how the boys looked so worried when he did. “So I papa just needs some sleep.” 

“Will you get better tonight?” Jangjun asked. “Can we go to the park again soon?”

Kihyun looked up and exchanged a glance with Minhyuk and slowly replied, “I’m… not sure, baby. Minhyuk and I are too busy to be able to take you boys to the park.”

“Can Mr. Hoseok take us?” Jibeom blinked at him hopefully.

Kihyun could see Minhyuk’s eyes dim at Hoseok’s name, his jaw stiffening as he reached down to ruffle Jibeom’s hair and say, “No. Mr. Hoseok isn’t going to be coming for a while.”

“Why not?”

“He just… he just can’t. He’s has more important things he should be handling right now.” Kihyun smiled at them sadly. He sighed as he watched them deflate in disappointment. “Hey, don’t be too sad, boys—we can still have fun! As soon as I get better—”

“But you’re not getting better, papa,” Jangjun said quietly.

“What? Yes, I am.” Kihyun smiled at them fondly, but it felt strange. Almost as if he was lying through his teeth. “Tell you what—you boys go get ready for bed and you can all sleep with me in my big bed tonight.” He pat the empty mattress spots beside him and grinned when the boys visibly lit up.

“Really?!”

“Really. Now, go brush your teeth!”

Donghyun bounced on the heels of his feet. “Oh, oh! Can I bring a book for you to read to us?”

Kihyun smiled. “Of course, baby. But brush your teeth first!”

“Okay!” 

They all ran away as quickly as they could and Kihyun chuckled after them. With some difficulty, he sat up in his bed with Minhyuk’s help, resting his back on the headboard.

“Kihyun, you should really rest,” Minhyuk mumbled.

Kihyun shook his head and coughed. “No. No, it’s fine. My boys deserve some attention—it’s been a few days since Hoseok came over and they had fun. I still need to be father, whether or not Hoseok is here.”

Minhyuk grimaced at the name. “You know,” he said quietly, “he keeps calling. And texting. He says he wants to explain himself.”

With an almost sad laugh, Kihyun replied, “Let him. I won’t talk to him. I don’t want his explanations.”

“Me neither.” Minhyuk rolled his eyes. “An engaged man, coming here and leading you on like this? Kissing you? God, if I was willing to talk to him I’d tell him that you weren’t some—!”

“Minhyuk.”

“Some conquest! What does he think you are? You’re not a side lover for him to play with whenever he wants!”

Kihyun frowned down at his hands. “I know. I feel the same. I just… If I had known he was going to play around with me like this, I wouldn’t have let him in in the first place,” he said bitterly. “I feel so awful for not letting the boys see him since they love him so much but… I just can’t bear to look at him.”

“I understand,” Minhyuk sighed. He groaned to himself and rolled his eyes as he said, “I swear though, if that asshole comes back, I’ll really give him a piece of my mind—”

“Minhyuk,” Kihyun chastised softly. “Please, don’t. It’s my fault for falling for him.”

“It’s not your fault for him kissing you.”

Kihyun stared down at his hands. “Maybe… maybe not. But please, Minhyuk. I would rather we just not talk about him at all. I’ll just…” he sighed at himself. “I’ll just miss him more.”

Minhyuk sighed at the how broken and defeated Kihyun looked. He knew that the last thing he needed was more stress added to his life, and he had trusted Hoseok to alleviate some of it—maybe even love Kihyun the way he deserved. But Hoseok hadn’t, and in turn, only made Kihyun hurt more. But Minhyuk could see it in Kihyun’s eyes that he missed Hoseok. And even though he had been hurt, he wanted to see Hoseok again more than anything. 

He felt so sorry.

Minhyuk didn’t say anymore, instead grabbing a pitcher of water and a glass to leave on Kihyun’s dresser as his sons came back into the room, one by one, clad in their pajamas. Kihyun was happy for them to join him under his covers, smiling and tickling them as they wiggled underneath. Donghyun was the last to arrive.

“I brought a book!” he announced. Kihyun laughed as he threw the book on the bed first and then climbed up with some help from Minhyuk. He immediately went to sit in Kihyun’s lap, snuggling up to him as he held the large picture book in front of them. “Can you read this one for us, papa?”

Kihyun smiled as he took the book into his hands. “Let’s see… a book on mermaids? Oh yes, I can read this. Minhyuk, will you be staying for storytime?” he asked with a light laugh.

Minhyuk snickered a little before saying, “No, I think I’ll go read a book of my own and go to sleep. You guys have fun though. Good night.”

“Night Minhyuk!” the boys chirped.

Kihyun chuckled as he opened the picture book. “Donghyun, I didn’t know you liked mermaids this much.”

“They’re very pretty!” Donghyun said matter-of-factly. “But only mermaids that aren’t from Neverland because those mermaids try to drown you.”

“Oh, yeah?” Kihyun laughed. “And who told you that?”

“Mr. Hoseok did!”

Kihyun felt his smile falter for a split second before he composed himself and flipped to the first page. “Oh, well… isn’t he just a funny man,” he murmured.

Jibeom blinked up at him with a wide smile. “You know! Mr. Hoseok said you were prettier than mermaids though. So you have to be careful when you go to Neverland or else they’ll get jealous.”

His hands froze on the book as he looked to Jibeom. He glance at all of the boys, who all looked at him with bright, glittering eyes. “He… Hoseok said that?” he asked quietly. “About me?”

“Mm-hm!”

Kihyun blinked rapidly, clearing his throat and forcing the lump that appeared in it back down. “I see.” He took in a deep breath and pulled a smile on his face. “Well! Scoot on closer so you can all see the pictures!”

It felt nice to have all his boys around him, sitting close and interested in the words Kihyun read off the page. Kihyun’s heart felt much lighter than it had before.

  
  
  
  
  
  


_ “Hoseok.” _

“Hm?” Hoseok snapped his head up, looking around him in confusion at the sound of his name being called. Everybody on stage was staring at him and it seemed that Hyungwon was the one who spoke to him. “Yes?”

Hyungwon raised his eyebrows and smiled. “Do you have an emergency? Or…” He glanced at Hoseok’s hands, “are you just playing around on your phone? During our run through?”

Hoseok cleared his throat awkwardly and slipped his phone back into his pocket. “Sorry, I was just… checking the time.” He could feel a million glares on his back. He couldn’t admit that he was still trying to reach Kihyun or Minhyuk and was checking his phone to see if either of them would message or call him back.

“Oh—checking the time. Yes, how necessary. Would you like to tell me what time it is, then?”

“About… nine.” 

Hyungwon smiled amusedly and nodded. “Oh.  _ Nine.  _ Nine in the evening. Lovely, isn’t it? What a shame you need more time on stage.” Hyungwon placed his hands on his hips and said, “It’s almost as if you should have attended rehearsals or something.”

Hoseok felt himself frown and tense up at the sarcastic commentary. The atmosphere was uncomfortably taut, seemingly ready to snap at any second as Hyungwon called for another run through of the scene. He was supposed to be fighting Peter Pan in this scene—circling around a large rock as they did so.

Kibum smirked at him as they resumed their positions while waiting for Hyungwon to call action. “You seem very focused on your phone there, Captain Hook.”

Hoseok narrowed his eyes as he gripped onto his fake sword. “Just checking the time,” he said again.

“Action!”

Kibum sprung forward with his small dagger, a mischievous grin on his face as he said, “Checking the time? Or checking on your little family?”

“What?” Hoseok frowned as he fought back with his sword. “What are you talking about?” he hissed under his breath.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Kibum drawled. “I just hear some things here and there,” he faked a yell as he lunged at Hoseok with his dagger, “and lately I’ve been hearing a lot about you and, oh… what’s his name? Kihyun?”

Hoseok pushed Kibum back slightly harder than he intended. “That’s none of your business.”

“Well, if you’re skipping rehearsals to be with him, you make it all of our business, don’t you think?”

“I  _ think,” _ Hoseok bit out, “it’s not  _ any  _ of your business. And you should keep your nose out of it.”

“Oh, is that so?” Kibum shot him a feline grin. “I hear Minah’s on your ass now. Should have kept your little family a secret, huh?”

“Shut up, Kibum. You don’t know anything about him.” Hoseok narrowed his eyes.

Kibum hit his sword with his dagger again. “Why so tense, Hoseok? You feeling antsy ‘cause you can’t sneak off to play with Kihyun and his babies?” 

“I—!”

“Only they can calm you down, huh?” he goaded on. “We all know how pissed you were when you were cast as Captain Hook. Jealous that I’m number one, perhaps?”

Hoseok scoffed. “Not _ even.”  _

“Looks like the director made the right choice.” Kibum grinned at him. “After all, Peter Pan doesn’t go skipping rehearsals to see a man behind his fiancee’s back.”

Perhaps Hoseok pushed him back much harder than he wanted to, if Kibum losing his balance afterwards and falling flat on his butt was any indication. Kibum looked up with a glare, his eyes hard and angry as he let out a loud,  _ “Hey!”  _

“Stop, stop!” Hyungwon called out. He sighed as he palmed his forehead. Frowning at the stage, he said, “Kibum? Really? You can’t handle some fake sword fighting?” 

“What?! He—!” 

“Sorry,” Hoseok replied with a small triumphant smile. “

“Hoseok, you did pretty good. Kibum, let’s talk in the back about dagger fighting, shall we? Everyone else take five.”

Hoseok was quick to place his sword away and take the fake hook off of his hand as soon he was given the chance to leave. He pulled out his phone quickly and sighed again in the fact that there were no messages.

He hated not being able to reach Kihyun. If he could, he would drive right over to his house and talk to him but with Minah now watching his every step and the entire cast seemingly focused on him, he didn’t dare make any moves.

But if the way Changkyun had looked at him earlier meant anything, Hoseok wanted nothing more than to find his own answers and see Kihyun again. He couldn’t though—not when it felt like the world was watching, waiting for him to slip.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


At three in the morning, Jibeom was first to wake up out of all his brothers to the sound of coughing. The spot Kihyun had taken up between them all was empty, Donghyun’s arms grasping at a wrinkled pillow instead. Jibeom’s eyes focused hazily as he scanned the dark room for his father.

“Papa…?” he murmured as he sat up, rubbing at his eye. He was drowsy, but he was wide awake when he noticed his father standing next to his dresser, a half empty glass of water in hand as he coughed into his fist violently. “Papa, are you okay?”

“Jibeom—?” Kihyun stopped coughing long enough to notice his son sitting up in worry. “Jibeom, baby, go back to sleep, please, papa is okay—” He seized violently, almost doubling over form the force of the cough that rattled his ribcage. 

“Papa!” Jibeom exclaimed. He burst out from under the covers, running over immediately to where Kihyun was struggling to stand. He took Kihyun’s glass out of his hand and tiptoed to set it onto the dresser next to him, then taking his father’s larger hand into his. “Papa, what’s wrong?”

“N-Nothing,” Kihyun choked out. His throat felt as if it were on fire and he couldn’t seem to breathe enough air to soothe it. “Papa is okay, papa is—!” He stopped mid sentence, covering his mouth as he coughed so painfully, he could feel the veins bulge in his neck. 

He could hear Jangjun begin to stir in his sleep as Jibeom gripped his hand tighter. “Papa, I don’t think you’re okay!” 

“Jibeom, please,” Kihyun nearly begged. But one look at his son’s glistening eyes in the moonlight and he couldn’t bear himself to say anymore. He coughed again and he knew that Jangjun was awake now, sitting up and asking what was wrong.

_ “Papa.”  _ Jibeom’s lower lip quivered as he clutched Kihyun’s hand. “You’re _ bleeding.” _

Kihyun blinked blearily, his voice coming out small.  _ “.. _ .I’m  _ what?”  _

“Papa…?” Kihyun heard Jangjun speak from the bed. “Jibeom, what happened?”

Jibeom’s voice shook as he exclaimed, “Papa is bleeding!” 

Kihyun barely glanced at his hand, noticing the red marks of blood across his finger tips, before Jangjun was hopping out of bed and running out of the room, heading straight for Minhyuk. Kihyun wanted to say more but he found himself coughing more into his hand instead. His hands shook when he realized the more he coughed, the more blood he was spitting up and the terrified look on Jibeom’s face made Kihyun’s heart drop down to his feet. 

“Papa,” Jibeom said, his voice wavering as his eyes misted up. 

“Hey, come on now.” Kihyun lowered himself down to his knees, looking Jibeom straight in his big, watery eyes. “Don’t cry. Papa is,” he coughed twice, “going to be just fine. So no crying, okay?”

Jibeom swiped at his eyes uselessly as he nodded, but still held Kihyun’s hand tightly, as if letting go would be letting Kihyun fall even more ill. His breaths were short, panicked and Kihyun could tell he was having a hard time keeping it together. And suddenly he felt so much pain in his heart—Jibeom shouldn’t have to deal with this. He wished Jibeom could just go to sleep peacefully and rest but instead he was up, worrying over his sick father and Kihyun couldn’t feel more pained by it.

“—is bleeding!”

“Jangjun, what do you mean papa is bleeding? Bleeding from where?”

Jangjun ran in, his eyes wide and frightened as he dragged Minhyuk by his hand. “I don’t know,” he replied. “But Jibeom said papa was bleeding.”

Minhyuk froze when he laid eyes on Kihyun, kneeling on the floor with blood covering his hands and staining his lips red. His mouth gaped and his eyebrows furrowed his horror as he rushed to Kihyun’s side at once.

“Kihyun, what happened?!” he demanded.

Kihyun looked up at him and shook his head. “I don’t—I don’t know. I woke up when I started coughing and I,” he retched again and Minhyuk’s eyes seemed to fill with panic, “I got up for some water but I couldn’t stop.”

Minhyuk put a hand up to Kihyun’s forehead. “Good lord,” he muttered to himself. He took a second glance at the blood over Kihyun’s hand and shook his head. “We’re going to the hospital.”

“Minhyuk—”

_ “Kihyun,” _ he snapped, “you’re coughing up _ blood.  _ We’re going to the ER.  _ Now.”  _ He helped Kihyun stand up and looked to Jangjun and said, “Go wake up your brother—I’ll get Kihyun to the car. Grab jackets and meet me in five minutes.”

Jangjun and Jibeom nodded, running off to do what Minhyuk ordered as he walked out of the room with Kihyun on his shoulder. Kihyun kept trying to protest as he kept up with Minhyuk’s pace, insisting, even as Minhyuk was buckling him into the passenger seat, that he didn’t need to go to the ER. 

“Don’t be stupid,” Minhyuk hissed at him as he climbed into the driver’s seat. “Who are you going to help by not going to the hospital, Kihyun? Because it’s definitely not yourself.”

_ “Minhyuk—” _

“And you saw Jibeom’s face. At the very least, go for him.”

Kihyun coughed some more as Jibeom came running up to the car with an armful of jackets while Jangjun carried a still sleeping Donghyun on his back. Minhyuk waited until they had all jumped into the car and strapped Donghyun into his carseat before driving off into the inky night.

“Minhyuk?”

Minhyuk looked into his rearview mirror, able to see Donghyun still fast asleep and Jangjun and Jibeom holding each other’s hands worriedly. “Yes, boys?”

“Is papa going to be okay?”

Glancing over to where Kihyun sat and silently held in his coughs, Minhyuk sighed, “Papa will be okay.”

“Is this going to be like the first time papa had to go to the ER?” Jangjun asked. 

“I… I don’t know.”

Jibeom quietly spoke up. “Is Uncle Hyunwoo going to come over again?”

Minhyuk pursed his lips as he stared at the dark, empty roads ahead of him. “Perhaps,” he said.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes this doesnt seem very good
> 
> twt: [kkulseoki](https://twitter.com/kkulseoki)  
> cc : [quinseok](https://curiouscat.me/quinseok)


	9. run, run, lost boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Run, run, lost boy," they say to me  
> Away from all of reality

Minhyuk hated late night emergency room visits. The chair he sat in was far too uncomfortable for how nervous he was in comparison. It was so quiet that it was nerve wracking. Donghyun was fast asleep in his arms, snoring softly as he went on in his peaceful slumber. Jangjun and JIbeom sat squished together on his right, their eyes glued to videos he had pulled up on his phone screen to calm them down. 

Kihyun had been taken in about an hour ago and Minhyuk would have probably gone in with him if the boys weren’t with him as well. So he had to sit down, waiting agonizingly in the quiet of the emergency room—the only sounds being the rustling of the receptionists and the other patrons that were waiting just as anxious as he was. The entire room was filled with an underlying sense of tension and he hated it.

Soon enough, a nurse opening the door to the room, poking their head out and looking around to ask, “Lee Minhyuk?”

Minhyuk looked up sharply and nodded, shifting Donghyun to lay him down on the seat comfortably as he stood up. Jibeom and Jangjun looked up from Minhyuk’s phone with some curiosity in their eyes but Minhyuk told them to stay there and watch their sleeping brother. 

He jogged up to the nurse. “Yes, that’s me.”

“You brought Yoo Kihyun in?”

“Yes, I did.”

“You can come in and speak with the doctor now.”

“Okay, yes, thank you.”

With a soft command at the boys to stay put, Minhyuk followed the nurse through the doors and the ER. It was slightly calm tonight—Minhyuk figured that it was lucky. He was taken to Kihyun fairly quickly and found him much calmer than he was before with a doctor standing by the side.

The doctor smiled as Minhyuk came in, waving him over and saying, "You're his guardian?"

Minhyum smiled a little crookedly. "I suppose you could say that."

"Wonderful. Well, Kihyun is stable now—most of it was having a really terrible fever. Have you ever experienced a fever like this before, Mr. Yoo?"

Kihyun shook his head from where he lay on his hospital bed. His gaze was a little hazy and he looked exhausted with an IV and heart monitor attached to his arm, but he looked much better than he had before. His cheeks were a little less pallid and he was clean of any blood.

"I've never had one this bad," he said quietly.

"Yes," the doctor hummed. "It would seem so. Turns out the medication your on makes you very susceptible to infections. And this fever probably came because of that."

"I see," Minhyuk replied. Then somewhat apprehensive,, he asked, "Should we... get off of that medication?"

The doctor paused in thought and sighed softly through his nose. "Considering Mr. Yoo's medical history... I'm not sure if I'm the right doctor to say. That's the other part I wanted to address—you said you were coughing up blood?"

Kihyun nodded.

"He woke up around three in the morning coughing up blood, yes," Minhyuk said. "Is it because...?" He glanced over to Kihyun, where he could see some dread begin to set in his eyes.

"That's what I'm suspecting, yes," the doctor replied. He flipped to the last page of his clipboard and said, "Of course, I am not a specialist. Which is why I'm going to have Kihyun stay here for a few more hours or so, so we can have our on site oncologist give him a look and so that we can keep an eye on him just in case." He looked up at both of them with a curt smile. "Expect him to be discharged around the evening, but most likely no sooner."

Minhyuk shared a glance with Kihyun before looking back to the doctor with a smile and a nod. "Okay. Thanks for letting us know."

"Of course."

The doctor took his leave then, leaving Minhyuk alone with Kihyun in the small room. As soon as the doctor was out of earshot, Kihyun frowned at Minhyuk.

_ "Evening? _ I'll only be discharged in the _ evening?" _

"Kihyun—"

"It's... what? Five in the morning right now?"

"More around four, but I get what you're saying." Minhyuk sighed as he sat at the foot of Kihyun's bed. "We don't really have a choice though, Kihyun."

"I'm not going to stay in a hospital for that long, Minhyuk."

"Well, so long as you're here, you're not going anywhere," Minhyuk told him firmly. "And it's not even my orders—it's the doctors."

Kihyun scoffed through his nose and looked away. "Ridiculous. Who's going to take care of the boys all day?"

"I already called Hyunwoo to—"

_ "Minhyuk." _

Minhyuk gave him a stern look. "Kihyun, I already called him. You can't do this on your own anymore, Ki, you really can't."

"I'm not doing it by myself," Kihyun grumbled. "I have you."

A small, affectionate sigh escaped Minhyuk's lips as he shook his head. "Maybe, but the two of us isn't going to be enough for the boys. Especially now that you're getting sicker. We need Hyunwoo."

"We  _ don't." _

Minhyuk narrowed his eyes. "And who would you suggest then?  _ Hoseok?" _

The taste in Kihyun's mouth was bitter as tried to think of something to say back. He glared down at his hands and stayed quiet instead. "I wasn't," he said.

“Sorry,” Minhyuk muttered. “I didn’t mean to bring him up. You probably don’t want to hear from him.”

“I don’t know.” Kihyun rubbed his arm miserably, wincing softly when the IV yanked in the slightest. “I do want to hear from him but…?” He sighed. “I know it’s better not to. I shouldn’t keep leading myself on.”

“You’re right. It’s better not to,” Minhyuk agreed under his breath.

Kihyun scoffed at himself and turned to stare at his heart monitor. “I really hate that I still have feelings for him. I just… I guess I just don’t get it. He comes into my life and makes life easier and he makes  _ me  _ feel like I can breathe easier but… he’s engaged? I just don’t understand.”

Minhyuk said with contempt, “I don’t think either of us either will.”

“I mean he… he  _ kissed  _ me,” Kihyun said quietly. “After he told me he was engaged. And for what?” He chuckled bitterly. “How could someone who knew nothing about me come into my life like this and be so kind and thoughtful and selfless? Why would someone like him want to help me so much?” Shaking his head, he muttered, “I thought he liked me but he was engaged…?”

“Kihyun —”

“But I guess he didn’t like me.” He shook his head as if it didn’t make sense, and perhaps it really didn’t. “I don’t  _ know,  _ I don’t know!”

Minhyuk stood up to move closer to Kihyun, sitting more near him as an act of comfort. “I don’t know either,” he said. “For all we know, he just might have been an engaged guy looking for some cheap thrills before committing.”

_ “Minhyuk.” _

“Sorry,” he muttered again. “I just don’t like what’s he’s done. There’s no way he didn’t have feelings for you after everything he’s done. But to grow feelings for you while he’s engaged to someone else?”

Kihyun snorted lightly. “Well, it’s not like it matters anymore. He’s engaged and he should focus on his future wife. Not me.” He sighed. “And as much as I like him, I’m not about to choose to be a homewrecker. I have too much on the line.”

“The boys,” Minhyuk said.

Kihyun nodded. “The boys.” They were quiet for a moment, nothing but the sound of Kihyun’s heart monitor beeping steadily. “I do miss him though,” he admitted quietly. “Being around him was so nice.”

“Well, you don’t need him. And I know the boys love him but they don’t need him either.”

“I know, but—”

“There’s not buts, Kihyun. It would be best if you don’t plan on seeing him again. At least, not in the way you guys used to.”

Kihyun hummed in a disappointment. “You’re probably right.”

At that moment, a nurse entered the room, turning her head to speak down the hallway, “Yes, Yoo Kihyun is in this room right here!”

Kihyun looked at Minhyuk, confused. “Are we expecting any visitors…?”

“I don’t think so,” Minhyuk mumbled as he stood up. “Who —?”

They both let out a breath of relief when they saw Changkyun entering. He looked tired, his hair disheveled and his clothes wrinkled, as he came into the room with wide eyes.

“Oh!” Minhyuk exclaimed. He pulled Changkyun into a hug immediately. “Oh, thank goodness, you got my text.”

“Well, yeah—” Changkyun said, looking more frazzled at every passing second. “I tried to call you back but you didn’t answer.”

Minhyuk blinked. “Oh, that’s because I gave the boys my phone.”

“I saw when I came in,” Changkyun chuckled. “Anyways, Kihyun,” he said, turning to the other, “are you alright?! What’s going on?”

Kihyun smiled at him weakly. “I’m fine now, thanks for coming.”

Changkyun looked over to Minhyuk who answered, “Fever. Something about the medicine he’s on making him more susceptible to infections and, well, guess he got a bad one.”

“So… does that mean,” Changkyun asked slowly, “he won’t be taking medication anymore…?”

Minhyuk shared a long glance with Kihyun before regarding Changkyun again. “We’re going to see,” he said with a firm  nod. “But I’m going to ask you to take the boys home, if that’s okay. Hyunwoo can’t get here until the morning and I want the boys to sleep.”

“Okay,” Changkyun replied slowly. “That’s fine, I can totally do that.”

Minhyuk took him by the arm and walked him out, saying, “Here, let me give you some gas money.”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll see you later, Kihyun!”

Kihyun smiled at him and raised a hand to wave. “I’ll see you later.”

Minhyuk walked out with Changkyun, leading him by the arm back out to the waiting room. Donghyun was still asleep, although now Jibeom and Jangjun’s heads were nodding off also, Jangjun’s fingers losing  grip on Minhyuk’s phone the more his eyelids drooped. He sighed softly, a smile appearing on his face briefly as he turned back to Changkyun.

“You know,” Changkyun said before Minhyuk could speak, “I know what happened.”

“Huh?”

“With Hoseok. I know what happened.” Changkyun pursed his lips. “And I know it’s technically not Hoseok’s fault Kihyun is the hospital, but I just think about how upset he is and—”

“I know,” Minhyuk groaned with a frown. “Believe me, I know. His pills might be the reason he got sick, but stress is still part of it. So I don’t want Hoseok anywhere near us.”

“He keeps asking about you guys.”

“Yeah, I see his texts almost every hour.” Minhyuk grimaced. “I have half a mind to block him but I won’t.” He shook his head. “Anyways, thank you for coming, really. Hyunwoo should be over before you have to leave for work.”

Changkyun smiled. “It's alright—I’m happy to care for the kids when you guys can’t. They’re practically my nephews too at this point.”

Minhyuk smiled at him fondly. “I’m really grateful you’re here. Now let’s go—I can carry Donghyun to the car for you. I can get you the car seat from my car.”

“Sounds fine to me.”

They were quick to wake the two older boys up as Minhyuk carried Donghyun up into his arms. The boys settled in quickly, despite the time Minhyuk took having to grab Donghyun’s car seat. Jangjun asked when their father would get to come home and Minhyuk reassured them quickly, saying that Kihyun would be home before they knew it.

And really, he hoped he would.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Can we bring in Peter and Wendy? I want to work on the kite scene.”

“We’ve already done that scene three times today!”

“Well, Kibum, if had actually made any improvements, we could have only done it twice.”

Hoseok snickered at Kibum’s frustrated yell from the wings of the stage, clearly relishing in all the critiques that Hyungwon had to give. He couldn’t deny that it was nice to see Kibum receive the brunt of Hyungwon’s directing and watching Kibum get riled up seemed to always make his days a little more pleasant.

Hoseok figured that now was a good time to take a break as he took his costume off and placed it onto a rack. There were still costume adjustments to be made and the play was closer than he thought. Perhaps being with the boys and Kihyun so often made him lose track of time.

He pulled out his phone to check again to see if Minhyuk or Kihyun had messaged him back but there was still no sign of response from either of them. The less he heard, the more worried he got. Kihyun was like a magnet, beckoning him and pulling him in, but it frustrated Hoseok that he couldn’t get any closer. He hated the silence. He could feel himself getting physically frazzled the more he was kept in silence. And he knew Changkyun had been the slightest bit colder him ever since he had told him what he had done, but at this moment, he felt the need to ask —just to make sure Kihyun was alright.

He found Changkyun talking to Jooheon near the curtain ropes on the other side of the stage. He smiled as he approached, hoping that maybe Changkyun would be kind enough to give him some answers today. Changkyun didn’t outright ignore him or glare at him every chance he got, but Hoseok could always feel the underlying tension whenever they spoke.

“Hey,” he said.

Jooheon smiled at him. “Hey. How have you been?”

“Well, Hyungwon’s on my ass less so it feels nice,” he laughed. “And I’m a little more tired but… you look really tired,” he said, looking at Changkyun.

Changkyu blinked at him and shook his head. “Yeah, I… uh, didn’t get much sleep.”

“You didn’t? Why not?”

Hoseok was confused at how Jooheon sent Changkyun a look of urgency, smacking him in the stomach to which Changkyun flinched and pouted. Jooheon muttered at him, “You have to tell him.”

“I don’t!” Changkyun hissed back.

“Come on, it’s Kihyun—he has a right to know.”

“He—!”

“He cares about him also, whether you agree with him or not.”

Hoseok blinked a few times, a concerned smile coming up on his face as he asked, “Is-Is everything alright? Did something happen with Kihyun?”

Jooheon sighed at Changkyun’s silence and turned to Hoseok himself. He breathed through his nose sharply and said, “Kihyun’s in the hospital.”

Never in Hoseok’s life had his stomach dropped faster to his feet than in that moment. “…What? Why is he in the hospital?!” 

“He was coughing up blood last night so he was taken to the ER,” Jooheon replied. He was quick to reassure, “He’s stable now! But he won’t be discharged until later tonight.”

“Tonight…?”

_ “Jooheon,”  _ Changkyun urged.

“Changkyun, he  _ does  _ have a right to know.” 

Hoseok was going to say more—was going to ask more—when the director called for both Changkyun and Jooheon. And suddenly they were saying goodbye and walking off, leaving Hoseok alone with such heavy information dropped on top of him.

He had only meant to ask how they were but he didn’t expect to learn that Kihyun had been hospitalized.  His heart beat inside his chest wildly, a sense of panic setting in knowing that Kihyun was in emergency care. Shaking his head, Hoseok willed himself to pull himself together—Jooheon had said Kihyun was fine; that he was stable. Surely, he didn’t need to panic.

But he knew he had to visit. He didn’t care if Minah saw him leave or if anyone saw him leave—he knew that Kihyun took priority in this moment. He racked his brain for what he should do and figured that all he could do was go to Kihyun in support. The boys would need some support and Hoseok knew that if anything, coming back from the hospital would be best with some warm, home cooked food. 

He checked the time on his phone—surely no one would miss him if he left rehearsal at this time. Today was a short day and he was sure they wouldn’t miss him for some scenes. But right now, he knew he had to go out and buy some food to make soup and most importantly, be by Kihyun’s side.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It was a little past dusk when Hoseok arrived at the front of Kihyun’s house, a bag of groceries in his hand as he rung the doorbell. He figured that Minhyuk wouldn’t like for him to show up uninvited, but how could Hoseok have invited himself when Minhyuk wouldn’t respond to his messages. He didn’t think he could do much for Kihyun, but he thought that coming over to make soup with the boys again could lift his spirits. It did so before and so surely it could help now —even just a little bit. His heart felt lighter thinking he could see Kihyun again that night. Maybe not for long, but even a bit would be alright. It felt like it had been ages since he had seen Kihyun’s face or his smile. 

Hoseok swallowed —he hadn’t seen Kihyun since he kissed him. And he figured that even though it was a little late, an apology would still be better now rather than never. 

But when the door opened, a man that Hoseok had never seen before peeked out instead. He stood tall and strong as he opened the door a little wider, his clothes clean and crisp as he raised a well groomed eyebrow at Hoseok. 

“Can I… help you?” he asked.

Hoseok blinked and wondered briefly if he had gone up to the wrong house because he had never seen this man before in his life. He shook his head and frowned. “Sorry, uh… is this the Yoo residence?”

“Oh, of Yoo Kihyun? Yes, but he’s not home at the moment,” the man replied with a smile. 

“Right, he’s in the hospital—correct?”

The man in front of Hoseok furrowed his eyebrows slightly as he smiled. “Yes… Yes, he is.”

“Are his sons home?” Hoseok asked.

“They are, but…”

“If you don’t mind me asking—who are you?”

The man chuckled slightly, albeit somewhat uncomfortably, as he responded, “My name is Hyunwoo. I’m just around to take care of the boys while Kihyun can’t. But depending on Kihyun, I might need to stay longer.”

Hoseok didn’t know what that meant, but he did know it made his stomach slightly unsettled knowing that there was an unfamiliar man taking care of Kihyun. But perhaps he wasn’t unfamiliar to Kihyun, and that thought only twisted his stomach more.

“I see. Well, my name is Hoseok. I’m a friend of there’s and I came by because I heard Kihyun wasn’t feeling well.”

A glint of recognition flashed across Hyunwoo’s eye momentarily, his eyebrows going up in interest at Hoseok’s name.  _ “Oh,”  _ he hummed.

Hoseok forced a smile at him, saying, “Anyways, I hope you don’t mind. But I came over because I heard Kihyun wasn’t feeling great but will be home in the evening.” He started walking towards the door, expecting it to open wider for him to enter. “And I thought it would be good to make him some soup for later—”

“I’m,” Hyunwoo stepped out suddenly, blocking him from entering, “not so sure about that.”

“Uh, I’m sorry?” Hoseok blinked with a confused tilt of his head.

Hyunwoo stepped out of the house and closed the door behind him. His face was stoic as he said, “I mean, I’m not letting you into the house.”

Hoseok’s lips quirked into an unamused smile. “I’m sorry—but what?”

“Listen, Hoseok? I don’t know much about you, but I’ve got specific orders from Minhyuk to not let you in.” He clasped his hands together. “Or near the boys.”

Hoseok’s smile disappeared, replacing itself with an angry furrow of his eyebrows. “What—?” 

“I heard a lot about you,” Hyunwoo continued. “I know the boys love you, which is why I closed the door because if they see you, I’ll have to let you in. But Minhyuk told me everything, Mr. Hoseok. Especially about you’re little… affair with Kihyun.” His face didn’t change, but Hoseok suspected the look in his eyes did.

“Affair? There’s no  _ affair  _ going on,” Hoseok with a narrow of his eyes.

Hyunwoo shrugged. “Maybe not. But that doesn’t mean you didn’t hurt my cousin in the process.”

“Your cousin? Kihyun is your—?”

Hyunwoo cut him off. “I know you make them happy. And I know they make you happy. But after everything Minhyuk has told me? This family is better off without you.” 

Hoseok felt something sharp stab him right in the chest as he regarded Hyunwoo in front of him. He had never met this man, Kihyun had never referenced having anyone like this in his life, but here he was, speaking in a way that Hoseok didn’t like. He felt unnecessarily targeted by this man, even if Minhyuk was the one who told him to.

Hoseok frowned. “You said so yourself—you don’t know me. So why should you tell me to leave?”

“You’re right, I don’t know you,” Hyunwoo responded without blinking. “But if you’re planning to try and shove your way into this family, I can promise that they have enough strife without you.” His frown deepened. “They don’t need this kind of disruption in their life.”

_ “Disruption,” _ Hoseok repeated almost mockingly. “I’m just here to cook for them.”

“Unfortunately, I believe I have that position covered.” Hyunwoo smiled at him and reached out to take the bag from Hoseok’s hands. “And if you really think the soup you’re trying to make is going to help Kihyun or something, then I’ll make it for him.”

“I didn’t —”

“Thank you for dropping by and all, I’m sure in any other circumstance I’d love to let you in.” He smiled warmly and Hoseok wanted to sneer at him. “But at the moment, we don’t really need you here.”

“You’re —”

“It was nice meeting you, Hoseok.”

Hoseok stood there, feeling somewhat insulted and dumbfounded, as Hyunwoo shut the door in his face.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The sun had dipped well past the horizon by the time Hoseok got back to his home. He had sit in his car for too long, sitting and thinking about everything he had been told and he couldn’t shake the bitterness from his ribs. The way Hyunwoo had looked at him, the way he had been barred from the household as if he was a stranger, the way his words had stung in a way Hoseok was unfamiliar with —one that left a bad taste on his tongue. One that curled a cold, iron fist around his heart and stopped allowing it to feel warm. 

He just couldn’t make sense of it all. He didn’t know why the knowledge of knowing that he had potentially hurt Kihyun and knowing that he had been barred from even going in to see the boys or make food to comfort Kihyun like he had before made him feel so angry. He was  _ so  _ angry; and yet, he still felt so  _ helpless. _

He didn’t know Hyunwoo. He knew Hyunwoo was there to help Kihyun but he felt that stupid twang of jealousy in his stomach when he looked at him. Hoseok sat parked in front of his home in his car miserably, holding his head in his hands as he kept processing the information and thinking about it. This feeling that ate him alive inside his chest was suffocating and he wanted nothing more than to just suppress it until it disappeared.

But knowing that he couldn’t, he grumpily got out of his car and went into his home, flicking the lights on in the dim lighting as he trudged inside.

“Hoseok.”

Hoseok froze and bit back a groan when he heard his name called from the kitchen. Clenching and unclenching his jaw, he stepped towards the kitchen where he knew a storm was waiting for him. He didn’t say anything in favor of being quiet instead as he walked in, finding Minah standing at the kitchen counter, her purse and keys next to her as she leaned on her elbows and stared at the glossy marble.

“Hey,” he said lowly.

Minah didn’t look up, her voice soft but cold as she asked, “So where did you go?”

“Minah—”

_ “Where,”  _ she interrupted, “did you go?”

Hoseok shifted his weight back and forth as he looked away. He pursed his lips and ran his hand through his hair. “I had to go do something.”

“Do what?”

“…Grocery shop.”

“Really?” she asked uninterestedly. “For hours?” She glanced over at him. “Did you eat them all?”

“They weren’t for me,” Hoseok answered curtly. The silence between their responses were tense and Hoseok was no longer sure where this was headed. 

“Really—then who were they for?”

“Minah—”

_ “Hoseok!”  _ She turned to him sharply, her eyes rimmed red and glinting with anger.  _ “Who _ were they for?” Hoseok stayed silent, Minah laughing sharply at his lack of response as she continued, “It was Kihyun, wasn’t it?”

_ “Minah—” _

“So it was.”

Hoseok scoffed through his nose and snapped, “He was in the hospital and his kids were at home, how could I not go and help them?!”

“I don’t _ care, _ Hoseok. You act like you’re being so charitable,” she said, her voice still steady and sharp. “But you deliberately did the opposite of what I told you—again—and you disappeared mid rehearsal.”

“We were nearly finished.”

“Is that supposed to excuse you?”

“So what?” Hoseok asked. “I’m supposed to  _ not  _ be concerned for Kihyun because of a play?”

Minah stared at him, incredulous. “Maybe you aren’t supposed to skip rehearsals for a man that you’ve already been caught sneaking around with before?”

“How have I been sneaking around—?” 

“It’s so obvious you don’t want me to know,” Minah replied, her harsh tone sounding somewhat resigned. “Or anyone else to know, for that matter. All you do is sneak out of rehearsals to go to Kihyun and not care about anything else.”

Hoseok wanted to retort, he wanted to say something back to prove her wrong but when nothing came into his head, he could feel his throat start to close up as his lips went dry.

“You hardly even care for me anymore.”

“What?” His eyebrows furrowed as he frowned. “Minah, how could you even say that—?”

“Your lack of involvement, for one,” she said, resting her cheek in her hand. She seemed almost uninterested in their fight, as if she had no purpose speaking of it. As if she felt that her words were reaching deaf ears. “I know you let me handle everything but you hardly care. All you cared enough to voice your opinion for was to invite Kihyun to the wedding.”

“That’s—”

“You didn’t even remember today, did you?”

Hoseok blinked, his mind going blank as a slate as Minah’s words hit him like a ton of bricks. “…Huh?”

Minah laughed bitterly as she grabbed her purse and keys and shoved past him. “Yeah. I thought you didn’t.”

“Minah—” Hoseok stammered as he followed her to the front. “Minah, what are you talking about?”

She turned around swiftly, her eyes narrowing as she spat, “The cake tasting? The one I told you to remember the date for? The one you told me you were  _ oh,  _ so  _ excited  _ for?”

Hoseok felt that bitter taste on his tongue worsen as his palms got sweaty. “I… that was today?”

“Yeah.” Minah told him coldly, putting her shoes on. “That was today.”

He felt that burning feeling of guilt boil in the pit of his stomach once more, rising into his throat where he could hardly even find the words to speak. He tried apologizing, stuttering out a quiet, “I-I’m… I’m so sorry, Minah, I didn’t remember.”

But Minah didn’t look impressed. “I’m sure you are. But you never forget about Kihyun, do you?”

“Minah, I—” He glanced at how she had already strapped her heels on, her body facing the door. “Minah, where are you going?” he asked softly.

“Hoseok, I really don’t know what’s been going on with you lately,” she said with a shake of her head as she grabbed the front door handle. “But you’ve made it clear that you don’t care about anything but your mysterious Kihyun. I’m going to stay with some friends for a few days.”

“What?” he asked, his voice small.

“I’ve given you so many chances but this is the last straw.” Minah sighed with a shaking voice. “I don’t know what you’ve been thinking lately but maybe if you spend some time to think alone, you’ll give me some answers.”

Hoseok blinked rapidly as she unlocked the door. “Wait, Minah—what is everyone going to say when they find out you’re staying somewhere else? You can’t just—?”

“Oh, so now you care about what everyone thinks about us? You didn’t care when people kept telling me you were  _ cheating  _ on me.” She scoffed at him skeptically. “I’m so tired of defending your ass when you don’t give me anything. If you’re not going to tell me what’s been going on—what you’ve been doing behind me back—then I’m not going to bother with keeping your reputation clean for the sake of your future.”

Hoseok felt his mouth drop into a deeper frown. “Minah, I never asked you to do that for me. People can say whatever they want.”

“Yeah?” she chuckled humorlessly. “Well, they’ve got plenty to say about you and your Kihyun.”

“Minah—” 

“I’ll be back in a few days but right now, I,” she heaved a sigh, “now, I don’t even want to look at you.”

“Minah, please—”

She shook her head at him. “Figure yourself out, Hoseok. It’s getting ridiculous.”

Hoseok wanted to say more, but before he could, Minah was already out the door and gone.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Papa!”

Kihyun grinned as Jibeom ran straight into his arms. “Hi, baby!” he said happily as he lifted his son up. “Did you miss papa while he was in the hospital?”

“Yes!” Jangjun said as he came up also. Kihyun gave him a side hug with his free arm as he continued, “There was no one to play around with. Uncle Hyunwoo is so boring!”

Hyunwoo walked down the hall, wiping his hands with a kitchen towel as he chuckled. “I guess the boys don’t find me very fun.”

Kihyun smiled at Hyunwoo fondly as he came over to give him a hug also. “I’m so sorry to call you last second, Hyunwoo, I’m so thankful you’re here.”

“Well, I’d be an awful cousin if I didn’t help you out like I did last time, right?” Hyunwoo chuckled. “Besides, I’d never hear the end of it from grandma.”

“I already never hear the end of it from grandma already,” Kihyun snickered.

“Yeah,” Minhyuk said as he came through the door, Changkyun following, “but that’s because you keep denying her help.”

“She’s my grandma, I’m not going to let her help me,” Kihyun said with a chuckle. “At least not financially like she wants to.”

“Precisely why I’m here,” Hyunwoo said jokingly as he took Jibeom out of Kihyun’s arms. “Anyways, I made dinner if you haven’t eaten yet. The boys have eaten though.”

“I’m okay, I had some food at the hospital since I know you’re not the best cook,” Kihyun joked. “I think Minhyuk and Changkyun could eat though.”

Changkyun nodded. “Yeah, I’m a bit hungry after rehearsal. I just wanted to come by to make sure Kihyun was fine but if there’s food, I’ll stay,” he chuckled.

Hyunwoo laughed, the sound deep and loud, and said, “Of course, of course. My cooking isn’t the best, but I think it’s still edible.”

“Uncle Hyunwoo made me eat spinach!” Donghyun announced as they all walked to the kitchen.

“Baby, we feed you spinach all the time though.”

Donghyun paused in his steps and then pouted, crossing his arms and saying, “I don’t like Uncle Hyunwoo’s spinach.”

They all laughed and Kihyun felt nice for once. Being at the hospital had been so draining and he was more than happy to finally be back with his sons. Even while getting checked up on, all he could think about was coming back home to be with his boys. 

“Are you better, papa?” Jangjun asked as he walked alongside him.

Kihyun could feel Minhyuk staring at him apprehensively but he ignored him in favor of answering, “Yes, papa is better right now. No more blood!”

Jangjun stared at him for a long time, as if inspecting Kihyun himself just to make sure, and then nodded. “Good!” 

Kihyun laughed as the three boys got distracted by something they had left in another room, and ran off to go play. He sighed to himself as he joined the rest of the adults in the kitchen where Hyunwoo was plating up some food for Changkyun and Minhyuk. Upon entering, Kihyun noticed the bag of groceries that sat at the foot of the counter.

He furrowed his eyebrows slightly as he smiled. “Hyunwoo, you didn’t need to take the kids out grocery shopping. Minhyuk usually has that covered.”

Hyunwoo blinked. “Oh, I—” He cleared his throat. “I didn’t buy those.”

“What? Then where did the come from?” he laughed. 

“Someone came and dropped them off, I guess you could say,” he said.

Kihyun caught the sharp glare Minhyuk’s eyes had suddenly narrowed down to, and the way Hyunwoo shot him an uncomfortable glance. His smile fell as he regarded the looks they were giving each other and he felt his heart drop.

“Why…?” he said, forcing out a laugh. “It’s not like Hoseok came or something…?” But judging by Hyunwoo’s silence and the way he went up to rub the nape of his neck, Kihyun knew. He knew Hoseok had stopped by.

He wanted to feel angered that Hoseok had come by without reaching out to apologize, but he knew that would have been hypocritical, considering how he had asked Minhyuk not to respond to Hoseok in the first place. He had just wanted Hoseok to focus on his own life instead of wasting his time with Kihyun, but knowing he had come by after he was hospitalized, Kihyun felt a sort of flattery bloom in his chest. He felt a little sad that he had missed Hoseok.

“He shouldn’t be coming over,” Minhyuk said.

Kihyun smiled a little bitterly. “That’s true… he shouldn’t be getting distracted with me.”

“Ki, you know that’s not what I meant.”

“I mean, I’m flattered,” Kihyun chuckled with a little shrug. “But how would he know that I went to the hospital?”

“That might have been my fault,” Changkyun spoke, a soft sigh coming from his mouth. “He asked me and I know he cares about you so Jooheon couldn’t just lie to him,” he replied. “I mean, I wasn’t planning to tell him but Jooheon got convinced.”

Kihyun blinked in a slight confusion. “He… He asks about me?”

Changkyun chuckled. “Yeah, he asked me about you the second he met you.”

“He  _ did?” _ Minhyuk asked, looking shocked.

“Yeah—the day after he met Kihyun. All he could do was ask me about you since we knew each other.” He made a face. “I might have told him too much information on accident though, so I’m sorry about that.”

Kihyun stared down at the grocery bag, the short silence almost deafening in his ears as he asked, “So… he knows that my husband left? And that stuff?”

Changkyun frowned at himself in shame. “Yeah. It was an accident, but I did let him know. I’m sorry.” 

“No, no, it’s—” Kihyun shook his head despite the strange feeling spreading itself through his chest. “It’s fine.”

“If I had known he would come into your lives and hurt you like this,” Changkyun murmured, “I don’t think I would have told him.”

And Kihyun thought he had felt a little happy that Hoseok had visited, but now he wasn’t so sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so perhaps i suffered a lil writing this chapter what do yall think ki is thinking  
> anyways i havent eaten ; v ; so pls leave me some comments while i eat and not die thnkyu  
> ily guys see u guys in the next update! <3


	10. walk the plank

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little late but hbd nezz :> hope u had a good one!  
> also sorry fot these late updates writing seems to be getting harder ; v ; but thank u guys for sticking around, really <3

Hoseok could feel eyes on his back. He always thought he appreciated being center stage but he hated the attention he was receiving while he stood there with a hook in his hand, glinting in the stage lights because he knew they weren’t staring at him for his talent. They didn’t pity him for not snagging the lead role. He knew why they were all staring at him. He could see it in the way they glance between him and Minah. It had been some days since Minah announced she was staying with friends and it didn’t take long for everyone they worked with to find out.

Hoseok knew that everyone else knew but in his head, he couldn’t give more shits about it. All he could think about was how irritated he was after trying to see Kihyun again that morning only to be barred by Hyunwoo  _ again. _ He had been trying to come the last few days since no one would respond to his messages or calls and he needed to talk to Kihyun. He  _ needed  _ to sort things out. Hyunwoo’s presence alone irritated him—he didn’t know how much he meant to Kihyun and the boys. It was annoying how ignorant he was being in not letting Hoseok in. Hyunwoo should have let Kihyun decide for himself whether he wanted to see Hoseok or not. Hoseok was convinced that if he had just been given the opportunity, Kihyun would be willing to talk to him.

A part of him knew that he should have cared more about how Minah was feeling and how she kept glancing at him during rehearsals, but his mind was so preoccupied, he could hardly think alone. He figured that people were beginning to tell he was getting distracted. 

“Hoseok, are you good?” 

Hoseok looked up and found Jooheon staring at him in concern. “Oh, uh… yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Why do you ask.” 

“Because you’ve been staring at your hook for ten minutes now instead of putting it on. Are you sure you’re okay?” Jooheon furrowed his eyebrows at him. “Is this about Minah—”

“No,” Hoseok said quickly. “That isn’t it.”

“It’s not…?”

“It’s… a lot of things.” He sighed. 

Jooheon blinked at him and said, “Okay… well, Hyungwon wants you on stage now with Kibum to practice.”

Kibum was probably the last person Hoseok wanted to see. But judging by the smug look of interest on his face, Kibum wanted nothing more than to see him. Hoseok hated to say that he fit the Peter Pan costume well and that the mischievous smile on his face helped with his overall appearance. He supposed he could see why Kibum got chosen. It was still a smack in the face though.

“Hey,” Kibum drawled as Hoseok walked on stage.

Hoseok didn’t bother looking at him. “Hi.”

“What? Too good to give me any attention?”

“Okay, we have everybody on stage, can we get lights?” Hyungwon’s voice echoed. “LIghts? Can we get lights? Intern!”

“I don’t want to talk to you, Kibum.”

“Mm… and you don’t want to talk to Minah either, huh?”

Hoseok narrowed his eyes at him. “That’s literally none of your business.”

“I don’t know.” Kibum shrugged. “You make it pretty exciting. Not talking to your wife-to-be and instead talking to you precious little Kihyun, right?”

“Shut up, Kibum.”

“Maybe you really are more suited to be Peter Pan than me, you know?”

“Lights! Can we get some lights!”

“You sure love flying around and being uncommitted.” Kibum snickered. “Pretty committed to the little, lost boys though. Isn’t that right?”

“I told you to shut up already.”

Kibum frowned. “Hm. You run away from your problems just like Peter Pan does also.” 

“Kibum—”

“Does he go around trying to kiss you like Wendy does?”

“Holy shit, shut  _ up!” _

Hoseok’s outburst drew everybody’s attention towards them, the entire floor going quiet as they stared at him in a stunned silence. But he could feel their judgment and animosity—everyone was just waiting for him to slip.

He could hear Hyungwon gasping and chewing him out, telling him to take a five minute break while they figured the lights out so he could go pull himself together and come back and work like an adult. Hoseok hated being talked down to like a child, but Jooheon sent him a pleading look from the wings and so he agreed. 

He hated how every time he walked on and offstage, people stared at him, prepared to point and call out his wrongdoings.He would much rather jump off the plank and tread water than have to walk it forever with people watching.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Kihyun couldn’t understand it. He knew Hoseok was kind but knowing that Hoseok was aware about his past and just information on him in general, he wasn’t sure where that put Hoseok’s kindness. He had felt sad before, thinking that he had mistaken Hoseok’s kindness for affection and feeling guilty thinking that perhaps he had seduced a taken man into kissing him. Minhyuk had reassured him that none of it was his fault but Kihyun couldn’t help but think that maybe he had something to do with it. Maybe he wasn’t supposed to kiss Hoseok back.

But now that he knew that Hoseok had asked about him, that Hoseok had  _ knew  _ about him—Kihyun didn’t like the thought. It put a bitter taste in his mouth when he thought that Hoseok might not be genuine. And maybe Kihyun was in no position to turn him away, but if he had anything left still, it was his pride. 

“Ki? Kihyun, are you listening?”

“Hm—?” 

Minhyuk frowned as he stacked empty bowls into the sink. “You’re not listening.” He sighed. “I was talking about your pills, Kihyun.” 

Kihyun shook his head. “Sorry, I just… I guess I was distracted.”

“Yeah, you were,” Minhyuk grumbled. “I hope you aren’t thinking about Hoseok.”

“I’m… not,” Kihyun lied.

Hyunwoo’s voice came from the kitchen. “Well, I hope you’re not. He’s not worth your time.”

“He really isn’t, Ki.” 

Kihyun stared down at his cup of tea. “I know. I just… I don’t know what to say.” 

“You know he keeps trying to come over?” Hyunwoo asked, poking his head out to look at them. “I’ve turned him away at least three times at this point but maybe we do need to say something. He can’t just keep coming over and expect to be let in.”

“God, why does he keep coming?” Minhyuk complained as he brought dishes to the sink. “It’s bad enough that he doesn’t get the hint but if the boys see him?”

“They keep asking where he’s been,” Kihyun said. “I thought maybe having Hyunwoo around could distract them but they,” he chuckled, “they really miss Hoseok.”

“Well, I don’t!” Minhyuk declared. “And if you ask me, there’s really no better time to slowly get your boys used to the idea that they won’t be seeing much of him anymore. Especially since things are going to be changing.”

Kihyun pursed his lips. “Things won’t be changing that much.”

“I don’t know, Ki.” Minhyuk glanced at him warily as he continued, “Hyunwoo and I were thinking that… maybe it would be good if Hyunwoo moved in also.”

“Minhyuk.” Kihyun narrowed his eyes. “You know how I feel about that.”

Hyunwoo stepped in as he dried his hands on a kitchen towel. “We know how you feel. But how you feel doesn’t change the fact that you’ll be needing more help than you’ve already got. Especially now that…” He looked to Minhyuk who sighed.

“Especially now that Hoseok isn’t going to be part of the picture anymore,” he finished. He shook his head. 

Kihyun laughed softly, nearly humorless. “You think I needed Hoseok…?”

Hyunwoo chuckled. “I’ve only heard about him and even I think it seemed liked you guys needed him. Or at least, he was always helpful and you guys were more than happy to have him around.” He shrugged. “Too bad he could have become part of the family.”

“Mm,” Kihyun hummed to himself. “Well, the next time he comes over—”

“Is Mr. Hoseok coming over again?”

All three of them turned around to find Donghyun staring at them while rocking back and forth on his tiptoes. His eyes were bright and full of anticipation at the mention of Hoseok. Minhyuk and Hyunwoo immediately looked to Kihyun, who stood up from his seat to go over to Donghyun.

“Oh, baby,” he murmured as he picked Donghyun up in to his arms. “Baby, Mr. Hoseok isn’t coming.”

Donghyun frowned. “How come? He hasn’t been around to play with us for so long.”

“I know.” Kihyun smiled at him gently and brushed back his bangs. “Mr. Hoseok is… busy.”

“Too busy to play?”

“Yes, baby.”

With a pout, Donghyun said, “How come he didn’t tell us? He should tell us, right?”

Kihyun pursed his lips and replied, “...You’re right, baby. He should tell us, shouldn’t he? Because it makes us sad.”

“Yeah!” Donghyun nodded quickly. “You always say to tell someone when they make us sad. Will you tell Mr. Hoseok for us?”

Kihyun replied that perhaps he would as he hugged Donghyun close and carried him up to bed. Maybe talking to Hoseok would be good. He just had too much to tell him. He wanted to tell him so many things. And he wondered when he and his boys had become so dependent on Hoseok’s presence to the point where it felt strange without him around.

The moment he tucked his son in to bed, he had made up his mind. Minhyuk and Hyunwoo were talking about his medical plan then in front of him when he came downstairs and said that he was going to go for a late drive to visit Changkyun. There was skepticism in Minhyuk’s eyes but he agreed.

Kihyun hoped he wasn’t making a mistake.

  
  
  
  
  


Hoseok woke up to the sound of knocking on his door. For a moment, he mistook it for his neighbors being loud but after a few minutes, he realized that it was his own door that was being sounded. He checked the time—it was about eleven at night. He hadn’t remembered falling asleep at all. Checking his phone as he stood up, he saw that he had some texts from Minah, saying that she would come back tonight. It was probably her at the door.

With a large yawn and a groan, he briefly wondered why she hadn’t brought her key with her as he went to unlock the door and open it.

“Hi.”

Hoseok blinked, stunned and shocked in his spot as he found Kihyun standing in front of him instead. A sort of relaxation washed over him after not being able to see Kihyun for so long. He couldn’t remember the last time he looked Kihyun in the eyes, and having in him in front of him now made Hoseok so happy, he nearly felt over the moon.

But the look in Kihyun’s eyes wasn’t happy—far from it. He looked stoic and tired, a way that Hoseok had never seen him before.

“Kihyun…?” he whispered.

Kihyun’s eyes were a little dim as he licked his lips. “Hey, can I…? Can I come in?”

“Oh—” Hoseok stammered as he stepped aside to open the door. “Yeah, yeah—of course.”

The silence between them was indistinguishable as Kihyun came in and took off his shoes. Hoseok watched him, walking backwards to lead Kihyun in. For some reason, he didn’t want to take his eyes off him. 

It was painfully awkward to have Kihyun standing in the middle of his apartment, alone, instead of with his children. He looked unfamiliar—uncomfortable. The way he rubbed his elbow and stared at the floor while shifting his weight back and forth was an obvious sign that he was out of place. Hoseok almost wanted to take him out of it and take him somewhere where he would be more comfortable. 

“I wanted to talk,” Kihyun said quietly after a while. “Sorry for showing up uninvited.” 

“No,” he replied. “That’s… that’s fine. How did you get my address though…?”

“I had Changkyun ask Jooheon for me. I hope you don’t mind too much.”

Hoseok replied quickly,  “No, I don’t mind at all. I just didn’t expect you to…” He shook his head to clear the haze around his thoughts. “I heard you had to go to the ER last week. Are you alright?” 

Kihyun stared at him, his gaze unreadable as he said, “Yeah. I’m… better now.” 

“That’s good.”

“Mm.”

Hoseok didn’t know why there was a wall between them. It had never been this hard to talk to Kihyun before. But perhaps whatever plagued Kihyun’s mind was making him close off. 

“Do you want to have a seat?” Hoseok asked him, gesturing towards his sofa. 

Kihyun stared at the spot that Hoseok offered and shook his head. “It’s okay, I’m fine standing.”

“Okay.” 

Hoseok watched him carefully, taking in the way he glanced around the room before breathing in softly. It was a few seconds before he opened his mouth to speak again.

“I think you should stop this, Hoseok.”

Hoseok felt an unfamiliar weight settle into the balls of his feet as his mouth dried up. “…What?”

Kihyun looked down at the floor and replied, “You need to stop. We can’t—…we can’t keep this up. Whatever this was between us, it’s got to stop—” 

“Kihyun, what are you  _ talking  _ about?” he asked, taking a step towards him.

“Don’t be stupid, Hoseok,” Kihyun said suddenly, looking up angrily and taking a step back. “I kept you around and I let you into our lives but now— _ now? _ I need you out of it.” 

Hoseok’s eyebrows furrowed as he stepped closer and tried to reach for Kihyun’s hand. “Kihyu—?” 

“I don’t need you. My boys don’t need you.” Kihyun shook his head and looked down as he pulled his hand away. “We don’t need you in our lives.”

“What?”

“I don’t want you in it, Hoseok,” Kihyun said sharply. 

“Wha—? What did I do?” he stammered in confusion. He stepped around Kihyun, trying to get him to look into his eyes. Reaching up to touch his cheek, he asked, “Did I do something wrong?”

_ “Stop,” _ Kihyun pleaded softly, gently moving Hoseok’s hands away. “You didn’t do anything, Hoseok, it’s just—”

“Kihyun, please, you have to tell me why.” Hoseok shook his head rapidly, his voice on the edge of worry and panic as he searched Kihyun for answers. “Please, you can’t just—! What did I do?” 

“We just don’t need you,” Kihyun replied stoically. “I, especially, don’t need you around anymore.”

Hoseok let out a breath of disbelief as he ran a hand through his hair. “You—? You don’t need me? What does that mean?” 

“It means whatever you’re doing—whatever you think you’re doing—I don’t need you to do it anymore. And I don’t want you coming back to my home or talking to my boys—” 

“Whatever I’m doing? Kihyun, did your cousin or Minhyuk put you up to this? What are you talking about?”

“No one put me up to anything!” Kihyun defended quickly, looking up at him with guarded eyes. His walls were up, Hoseok realized. Kihyun didn’t want him to know. “I can make my own decisions, Hoseok!” 

“I know you can, but what made you make this one?” he asked desperately. He let out a short breath of air from his mouth, a refusal to accept Kihyun’s words. 

“Hoseok—”

“Is this because I kissed you?” 

Hoseok regretted his words almost immediately at how he saw hurt flash so visibly across Kihyun’s eyes. Kihyun’s mouth opened in slight shock before he closed it again, looking away as to not let Hoseok see what he felt. He knew it was clear—everything was always clear in his eyes. 

“Hoseok—” 

“Please, Kihyun, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it.” Hoseok reached out and took Kihyun’s hands into his, grasping at him desperately. “I didn’t mean to hurt you that night. I just wanted—” 

“Hoseok, let go of me, please.” 

“—I wanted to make you feel better. And I didn’t know what came over me! When I looked at you, I just—! I don’t—!”

“I don’t  _ want  _ your explanations, Hoseok,” Kihyun said abruptly. “They don’t mean anything now, I’ve made up my mind.” 

Hoseok frowned. “I’ve been trying to see you ever since then to explain and I haven’t been able to.”

“Well, _ stop! _ Stop trying to see me and the boys!” he snapped. “I don’t want you to!” He ripped his hands away from Hoseok’s and began walking away. “That’s all I came to tell you.”

“Kihyun, wait!” Hoseok turned after him and grabbed his elbow. “You’ve got to give me answers. You can’t just—!” 

“I said what I said, Hoseok.” 

“Please, I just care about you—!”

“You care too much!” Kihyun interrupted as he turned around. His eyebrows knit together sadly as he bit his lip. “And  _ I _ care too much! My  _ boys  _ care too much!”

“Then why are you trying to cut me out?!” Hoseok asked. “You have to tell me if I did something wrong—!”

Kihyun replied swiftly, “You didn’t do anything  _ wrong.  _ I just—I just care too much.” 

_ “Kihyun.” _

“We’re better off without you.” 

Hoseok pursed his lips and grabbed Kihyun’s other arm firmly. “I don’t know why you’re trying to cut me out all of a sudden, but if you’re trying to hurt me, you won’t. You could never hurt me, Kihyun.”

Kihyun looked at him angrily, his breathing shallow and fast as he said, “But  _ you  _ have!  _ You’ve _ hurt me! And I care about you so much, but I’ll be damned if I say you’ve never hurt me!”

Breath escaped Hoseok’s lungs as his grip on Kihyun loosened. He couldn’t seem to find the right words to say as Kihyun continued.    
“And I don’t  _ want to say _ you’ve hurt me because all you’ve ever done is show kindness and patience to me,” Kihyun said, breathing heavily through his nose as his eyes glittered with pain. “But it—! It hurts, Hoseok! Having you so near all the time! I was fine before you came into my life. I was  _ fine. _ I-I had Minhyuk, and the boys—”

“Kihyun, please—” 

“But when you came along! You came along and you made… you made the boys so happy! You made  _ me  _ happy! Hell, even Minhyuk was happy when you came! But  _ damn it,  _ Hoseok, if I had known for one second what falling in love with you would mean for me then I wouldn’t have! I would have just went on without you!”

Hoseok’s stomach dropped down to his feet as his eyes widened. “You…?”

Kihyun laughed bitterly. “Of  _ course  _ I fell in love with you. It was so easy to fall in love with you. My boys loved you so much, how could I not have fallen in the end?” He pulled his arms away. “And I really thought for a whole second that you could have loved me back.” 

_ “What?” _ Hoseok whispered. 

“I…” Kihyun whispered as he trained his gaze onto the floor. “I know—I  _ know  _ how stupid it is. I know how stupid it is to fall in love with someone so fast but I just…” 

Hoseok blinked at him. “You’re in love with me?” 

With another humorless laugh, Kihyun said, “You were never supposed to find out. I wasn’t ever going to tell you. I was just going to suck it up and ignore it because my boys loved you so much but it’s just gotten to be too much for me.” He glanced up to find Hoseok staring straight at him and he turned away again. “I like you…  _ so  _ much, but… you’re just never going to feel the same way.” 

He started walking away again, although it seemed more as if he was pacing because it didn’t look like he was intending to leave. Hoseok followed him, his voice soft and gentle as he asked, “Kihyun, why wouldn’t you…? Why—?”

“Why  _ what?” _ Kihyun cut in. “Why I wouldn’t  _ tell  _ you? Why would I?” The look in his eyes was so full of desperation as he stopped to face Hoseok once more. “How could I  _ possibly  _ tell you that I had feelings for you? That whenever you touched me, I felt like my heart could have flown right out of my chest? That whenever you smiled, it made me feel—! It made me feel okay! Like everything would be fine.” He shook his head. “How could I ever tell you that?”

“You’re—”

“I couldn’t ever, Hoseok. Especially not ever after learning you were engaged.” Kihyun’s frown was so sad, Hoseok could feel a tug at his stomach as he looked at it. When he looked back up Hoseok, his eyes were filled with even more hurt. “But… but you  _ kissed  _ me. Even after we both knew you were engaged, you  _ kissed  _ me.”

Hoseok swallowed. “I—”

Kihyun continued despite Hoseok trying to speak. “How am I supposed to feel about that? Am I not supposed to feel guilty when it I  _ knew  _ it was wrong but I liked it anyways?” He paused, struggling to find the words to speak. “What am I supposed to do, Hoseok? I don’t know if you’re trying to play around with me but you need to stop. I-I can’t stand it anymore.”

“Play around with you? Kihyun,” he said, “I would never.”

“Then what is this, Hoseok? You’re engaged so you love someone else. I feel like I’m being played around with.”

Hoseok furrowed his eyebrows as he reached out to hold on to Kihyun again. “Kihyun, how could you say that?”

“But that’s what it is!” Kihyun replied. “That’s what you’re doing! I know you kissed me but you don’t mean it! Even if you had fooled yourself into thinking you liked me, you don’t mean it!” 

“You keep saying all these things but are you going to let me answer?” Hoseok asked, squeezing Kihyun’s hand tightly. “Just let me talk, Kihyun.” 

“I said I didn’t want your answers.” Kihyun narrowed his eyes at him. “I’m not stupid, Hoseok—Changkyun told me everything.” 

“Told you? Told you  _ what?” _ Hoseok asked, an edge to the demand in his voice. “That I don’t know what I’m feeling? That I didn’t intend to kiss you?” 

And maybe Hoseok had said something wrong judging by the sharp hurt that flickered in Kihyun’s irises. He shoved Hoseok’s hand off of him and said, “I  _ know  _ you know. I know you asked about me.”

“What?” 

“When we first met,” Kihyun said, the look in his eyes hard, “you asked Changkyun about me. And he told you about me. He told you everything!” 

Hoseok blinked rapidly as he took Kihyun’s hand again, holding on to him tightly as if to make him understand. “Kihyun, is that what this is about? You’re upset I know about your past?” 

“How could I not be upset?” he muttered darkly. “You  _ know, _ Hoseok.”

“So what if I know? That doesn’t change the way I feel about you!”

“The way you  _ feel  _ about me?! Hoseok, it changes everything! You think I haven’t gone through this before?” 

Hoseok pursed his lips as he gripped Kihyun’s hand tighter. “If you think me knowing that your husband left you changes anything, then you’re wrong.”

Kihyun laughed sarcastically, shaking his head as he stared at Hoseok. “Doesn’t change what? The fact that you feel bad for me? Because you’re right, that hasn’t changed.”

“I—? What?” Hoseok asked, his forehead knitting further as he pulled Kihyun closer. “Feel  _ bad  _ for you? You think I feel bad for you?” 

“Of course you do,” Kihyun replied. “What else—?”

“You think I feel bad because you don’t have a husband?” Hoseok asked, his eyes blinking in disbelief. “That you’re alone with your three sons? You think everything I do is because I feel bad for you?”

Kihyun looked at him angrily. “Well, what am I supposed to think?! You come along and you shower me with all this love and affection for me and my sons and-and—! I really thought you could have loved me, you know? I thought you could have. But after everything—finding out you were engaged and that you knew about my past before we even started getting to know each other—I  _ know  _ you just feel bad for me, Hoseok.”

“Kihyun—!”

“Do you know how many people have treated me like that? Even before you came along? The amount of people that did things for me just out of pity?”

“Kihyun, I don’t—!” 

“Poor Kihyun,” he said in a mocking voice, his eyes misting in anger and frustration. “Poor Kihyun, he must be so sad. Left behind by his husband and taking care of three boys all by himself.”

“I—”    
“I’m happy on my own with just my boys. I don’t need you,” he said sharply as he tugged his hand away. But Hoseok wouldn’t let him go. “I don’t need you and everybody else looking at me that way again!”

“Kihyun,” Hoseok said as he pulled him closer. He held Kihyun’s shoulder firmly with his other hand. “Kihyun, stop it—” 

“I don’t want that, Hoseok. I don’t need their pity and I  _ certainly  _ don’t need yours,” he said. He tried pulling his hand away again but to no avail. With how weak he pulled, Hoseok wondered if he was even trying to get free from his hold.  “Hoseok, I can’t stand it, please.” 

“No, I—” 

“Hoseok,” Kihyun pleaded, “the last thing I need is for you or anyone else to feel bad about me because I’m dying. I can  _ promise  _ you that I’m happy and I don’t need you around to make things easier—”

“Wait.” Hoseok couldn’t hear what Kihyun was saying when his heart was plummeting to his feet. His blood ran cold and his grip weakened as he stammered, “Wait, wait, wait—what?”

Kihyun frowned as he said, “Don’t play dumb, Hoseok. I know you know. Changkyun told you everything!”

_ “No,”  _ Hoseok said, insistent as he held Kihyun tighter, his eyes wide with confusion.  _ “No,  _ I knew that you were a single father who’d been left by his husband. What-What do you mean you’re dying? What do you mean…?”

“What? What do  _ I _ mean?” Kihyun asked, a fuzzy confusion filling his eyes. “Come on, Hoseok, Changkyun told you—”

_ “No,”  _ Hoseok interrupted again. “No, no—Changkyun didn’t say anything about you dying.” 

Kihyun looked dazed and confused, an underlying tone of frustration on his face as he muttered, “But… Changkyun said you knew about me. He said he—”

“Kihyun, I don’t know  _ what  _ Changkyun told you,” Hoseok said, “but I  _ swear  _ to you, until you said anything  _ just now, _ I didn’t know anything about you dying.”

They froze like that in Hoseok’s living, both of their eyes wide and shocked as they stood in silence. Kihyun’s hand was beginning to get clammy in Hoseok’s grip as his eyebrows knit in a soft terror of realization. The silence was thick and suffocating as Hoseok stared at him, eyes desperate for answers.

Kihyun breathed out. “Oh my god… you…” He swallowed. “You don’t know.”

“Know what?” 

“I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—” Kihyun stammered out, his eyes wide with a sort of fear Hoseok had never seen before. He ripped his hand away from Hoseok’s and moved away quickly. “I have to go, Hoseok, I shouldn’t have come.”

“Wait, Kihyun, stop,” Hoseok said as he followed him. He grabbed Kihyun’s wrist and held him back. “You can’t come to my apartment and tell me you’re dying and then leave. You’re not leaving until you’re telling me what’s going on.”

“Hoseok, I can’t, I—” 

“You  _ have  _ to tell me what’s going on,” Hoseok begged as he closed the distance between them again. He hated that Kihyun stepped backwards for every step he took forwards. He hated to see Kihyun keep trying to push him away. “Kihyun,  _ talk  _ to me. If you won’t let me talk then you’ve got to talk to me.”

Kihyun looked away as Hoseok stepped closer and gently touched his cheek. “Hoseok, I  _ can’t—”  _

“Yes, you can. Kihyun, please—what do you  _ mean  _ you’re dying?”  

When Kihyun looked up after a heartbeat of silence, he found Hoseok staring at him with big, wet eyes so full of worry. He stuttered, “I-I-I…” He couldn’t tear his eyes away from Hoseok’s as he felt his throat constrict in guilt. He hadn’t meant for this. Shaking his head, he whispered, “Hoseok, please, you’re not supposed to find out this way.” 

“Find what out?” Hoseok licked his dry lips as he reached up to hold Kihyun’s face in his palms. “Kihyun, look at me—find out  _ what?”  _

“Hoseok—”

“Kihyun.” 

Kihyun closed his eyes, his hands circling around Hoseok’s wrists as he whispered, “Hoseok, I…”

But Hoseok shook his head as he stroked Kihyun’s cheeks with his thumbs, his voice soft as he asked him, “Come on, Kihyun. Talk to me. Please.” 

Kihyun stayed silent for a minute. It was more than agonizing to Hoseok as he waited patiently, breathing shallowly through his nose as he waited for Kihyun to tell him the truth. He knew Kihyun hadn’t meant to take things this far but with everything they were saying to each other tonight, Hoseok wanted to know. He needed to know.

“Hoseok, I…” Kihyun closed his eyes and sighed through his nose, the thought alone paining him. His voice lowered to just softer than a whisper as he quietly admitted, “I… I’ve got stage four.” 

_ Stage four.  _ The words hit Hoseok like a ton of bricks. Kihyun hadn’t even specified what stage four meant but Hoseok wasn’t an idiot. There was only one thing that it could have meant. But he couldn’t find any words, only gasping out a soft, “What…?” 

Kihyun glanced away, the guilt eating him alive when he felt Hoseok’s fingers trembling against his face. He swallowed thickly as he curled his hands tighter around Hoseok’s wrists as if he wanted to keep him steady after hearing the news. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to—”

“Where?” Hoseok whispered.

“What—”

_ “Where,” _ Hoseok repeated, his voice shaking, “do you have it?” 

Kihyun swallowed. “My lungs,” he whispered. 

Hoseok’s breaths became shorter, bated as he searched Kihyun’s eyes to find if this was some sort of lie. He shook his head. “No.”

“Hoseok—”

_ “No.” _

“Hoseok, I thought you knew,” Kihyun whispered.

“I didn’t!” 

_ “God,”  _ Kihyun groaned..

“How long have you had it?”

Kihyun sighed softly. “A few years.” 

“Kihyun, oh my  _ god—” _

Tearing himself away in exasperation, Kihyun said, “This is what I mean, Hoseok! You’re just doing things out of pity and I don’t want that.”

“Kihyun, wait—”

“I should go, Hoseok,” he muttered as he slipped his shoes back on. “And I meant what I said earlier—my family and I don’t need you. I would rather you just not come by if you’re going to do things you don’t mean.” 

“Kihyun,  _ wait!” _ Hoseok exclaimed as he turned him around by his shoulders. “Please, I don’t—! I know it looks like I’m doing things because I feel bad, but I’m not! I’m—”

“You’re not?” Kihyun repeated incredulously. “I’m sure you think you’re a charitable man by always coming over and making life easier for me but if it’s a handout, I don’t want it—!” 

“It’s not because I feel bad for you!” Hoseok told him urgently. 

Kihyun stared him down, pursing his lips and asking, “Then why? I understand being our friend but… but kissing me? Did you just feel bad? Was I supposed to feel lucky that I thought someone was interested in me?” 

“That’s not  _ it, _ Kihyun,” Hoseok insisted. “I didn’t kissed you because I felt bad I—…” 

Kihyun stared at him in silence as he waited for an answer—any answer. But before Hoseok could even come up with something to say, the door behind them began unlocking. The breath in Kihyun’s throat hitched when the door opened and he pulled himself away from Hoseok. 

“Hey. I’m home.”

Hoseok felt as though his insides were made of ice when he saw Minah walk through the door, her bags in hand as she paused. She stared between Kihyun and Hoseok in mild confusion as she looked back and forth between them.

Hoseok swallowed. “Minah.”

Minah raised an eyebrow at the two of them, a short scoff of laughter coming out as she said, “Who…? What’s going on here?”

Kihyun was first to break the silence, muttering apologies as he moved past her and swiftly out. Too much was happening at once for Hoseok to handle. “Kihyun, wait—” he said as he followed him. 

He was stopped when Minah grabbed his wrist and looked up at him. “Him? _That’s_ Kihyun?” she bit out. She seemed to be getting irritated already but Hoseok didn’t have time to entertain her.

“Minah, let me go.”

“You’re going to go _after_ him?”

“Minah,” he said again. “I’ll explain it to you later.”

“Later? You’ll explain?” she asked. “You’ve even never explained once!”

But Hoseok ignored her words, yanking himself away and rushing after where he had seen Kihyun disappear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um hi so this was a wild ride  
> that's the big reveal i think a few of u saw it coming tho ; v ;  
> how are yall feelin tho lemme know-


	11. hangman's tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time had come to face things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey all apologies for missing last week's update, i got swamped after starting school but pls enjoy!!

Kihyun crossed his arms tightly across his body as he swiftly made his way to the apartment complex’s parking lot. His heart beat wildly in his chest, faster and faster with each step he took away from Hoseok’s apartment. He felt like he had made a mistake —a million mistakes, in fact. Hoseok’s face of shock and horror kept appearing in his mind, reminding him that he was too quick to jump to conclusions. That he had been too rash when deciding to come over. The regret he felt when Hoseok had told him that he didn’t know a thing was eating him up alive.

How could he have been so thoughtless, he scolded himself continuously. How could he have made such an assumption? And although he felt ashamed, he wasn’t going to turn back. Not for one second was he going to turn back and allow Hoseok to sway him anymore. He already felt so dizzy and weightless from their entire exchange and he wanted to leave. He didn’t want to look at Hoseok’s face anymore. He couldn’t stand to see that look in his eyes.

“Kihyun! Kihyun, please wait!”

He could hear Hoseok catching up to him and Kihyun closed his eyes in attempt to ignore him and kept on walking.

“Kihyun!” he called out again. “Kihyun!”

Kihyun would have kept on walking if it hadn’t been for Hoseok tugging on his shoulder and turning him around. He was panting heavily as if he had ran down the staircase of his complex instead of taking his elevator. And judging by how heavy he breathed, Kihyun figured that was probably the case.

“Please,” Hoseok breathed as he clutched him tightly. Kihyun pursed his lips — his car was only a couple steps away, he could leave now if he wanted to. But Hoseok begged, “Kihyun, please, let me talk to you.”

“We don’t need to talk anymore,” Kihyun told him quietly as he pulled away. “I already told you.”

“No, you didn’t let me finish in there. Before Minah came in! I — !”

“You don’t need to tell me  _ anything _ anymore,” Kihyun cut in quickly. He swallowed as he continued, “I told you everything I needed to say already. If you could just do what I ask —”

Hoseok interrupted, “Just let me talk, Kihyun. I don’t want you to think that everything I do is because I feel bad for you.”

“Really?” Kihyun asked, almost dismissively. He refused to look him in the eyes. “I don’t see how anything else could be true, Hoseok.”

“Just—!” He held Kihyun’s hands. “Let me finish, please. It’s not because I feel bad for you,” he insisted.

Kihyun’s eyebrows furrowed sharply, his eyes cold and unforgiving as he snapped, “Then what? What were you going to say back there before your  fiancée  came in?”

Hoseok licked his lips and a pursed them as he stammered out, “Kihyun… Kihyun, I—”

“What?” Kihyun urged. He laughed bitterly. “That you loved me?”

And the way Hoseok stayed silent almost made Kihyun want to laugh more. And maybe he would have, if it weren’t for the sad, guilty lump that formed in this throat. Kihyun could feel Hoseok’s hands clamming up as he held them. 

“Hoseok,  _ no.” _

But Hoseok swallowed in response, his eyes shaking as tried to focus on anything but Kihyun to make this any easier. His eyes were filled with a hazy turbulence as he clutched Kihyun’s hands tighter. Mouth going dry as he tried to think of an explanation, Hoseok gaped like he was trying to grasp.

“Don’t do this to me, Hoseok,” Kihyun breathed quietly.

“Kihyun…” His voice came out like a whisper. “I’m…”

Kihyun shook his head. “Hoseok, you don’t love me. You know you don’t.” He pulled Hoseok’s hands off of his with a gentle touch. “You’ve got a  fiancée  and a whole career ahead of you—you don’t love me.”

Sighing out in some sort of frustration, Hoseok said, “But Kihyun, I—”

“Don’t say things you don’t mean,” Kihyun told him, holding his breath. “Really, Hoseok. You shouldn’t.” 

“Kihyun,” he urged.

“I mean it, Hoseok. If you’re going to say things you don’t mean, then just leave me and my family alone.” Kihyun took a few steps backwards. “Please.” 

Hoseok looked so badly like he wanted to protest, like he wanted to deny but also accept all of the swirling feelings inside his chest. But he couldn’t say it. All of his words felt stuck in his throat and every time he tried to speak, it only got squashed down further. He wasn’t sure what stopped him but whatever it was settled into his stomach like a weight and anchored down everything he was trying to say.

“I don’t want you to go,” Hoseok whispered. “Let’s go back into my apartment and talk about it, Kihyun, please—”

“What, back into your apartment with your fiancee?” Kihyun shook his head. “I can’t do that. I don’t think you realize how much that would hurt, Hoseok.”

“I—”

Kihyun continued without missing a beat. “Speaking of your fiancee, you should probably get back to her. Don’t keep her guessing up there like that.”

“Kihyun—!” 

“It’s fine if you keep me guessing but you shouldn’t keep your fiancee guessing” Kihyun took more steps back, reaching his car and unlocking it while keeping his gaze away from Hoseok. “You’re committed to her.”

Hoseok watched helplessly as he opened his car door. No matter how much he wanted to move and grab Kihyun’s hand and just convince him to stay, he couldn’t. Only seconds later could he finally mutter out, “Kihyun, I… I don’t feel bad for you, I promise. It’s not what you think.”

But the look in Kihyun’s eyes was full of conviction and exhaustion. Hoseok could feel it weighing down onto his soul as Kihyun shook his head one last time.

“I’m serious, Hoseok—you shouldn’t say things you don’t mean.”

Hoseok could only watch as Kihyun left, his throat constricted with the words he couldn’t say.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Where have you been?!”

In his pursuit for answers, Kihyun didn’t realize that he was returning to his home past midnight. He felt immediately guilty when he saw how worried Minhyuk looked as he stood up from the kitchen table with Hyunwoo. Hyunwoo’s eyebrows were slightly knitted, but Kihyun could see that he had been worried also.

“Hey,” he said softly.

“You did  _ not  _ visit Changkyun!” Minhyuk chastised. “I texted him and he said he didn’t know anything about you coming over!”

“Because I didn’t visit him,” Kihyun said, his voice was tired as he tossed his keys down onto the table and sat down. “I went to see Hoseok.” 

He didn’t have to look up to see the disapproval and shock on both of their faces. Crossing his arms and staring down at the table, he swallowed as he waited for Minhyuk or Hyunwoo to say something—to say  _ anything. _

Minhyuk’s voice came first, filled with anger as he asked,  _ “What?!  _ Why would you go see Hoseok?!”

“We said it was best if you guys didn’t even talk anymore, didn’t we?” Hyunwoo’s voice was calmer, more stoic, but even Kihyun could hear the underlying tones of disappointment and anger. “Why did you visit him?”

“I had to! You kept saying how he was trying to visit and message you both so I wanted to tell him to stop!” Kihyun groaned. “And I told him to stay away from me if it was was him feeling bad because I was stage four,” he added quietly.

“Whoa, wait—hold on,” Minhyuk said, quick to interject. “He  _ knows?” _

“I thought Changkyun had told him! But he didn’t know anything!” Kihyun frowned. “He knows  _ now.” _ Holding his head in his palms, he sighed in frustration as he said, “It was a mistake, Minhyuk, I shouldn’t have gone over. I thought I was doing myself a favor, but I—…I just made things worse.” 

And even though the tension between the three of them was high, Minhyuk and Hyunwoo wasted no time in sitting back down in solidarity with Kihyun, their gazes and sighs sympathetic as they waited for Kihyun to speak again. 

“I… I didn’t mean to tell him,” Kihyun said under his breath. “It was just an accident. I said a lot of things on accident, actually. But now he knows everything and I feel awful.” He took in a shaky breath through his nose. “He knows I’m in love with him, he knows I’m stage four. I don’t see how this could possibly get any worse.”

Minhyuk and Hyunwoo exchanged glances with each other before Minhyuk sighed, wrapping his free arm around Kihyun’s shoulders in an act of comfort. 

“Well, we can’t scold you for going because you already went,” Hyunwoo said firmly. “There’s nothing we can do about that. But what are you going to do now?”

It was quiet as Kihyun thought to himself. The silence was patient as he formed his words together. “I’m… not too sure,” he admitted. “I have my own problems to start worrying about now, so I don’t have time if Hoseok wants to play around anymore. I told him to stay away unless he means what he says because…” Kihyun swallowed. “I-I think… I think he was about to tell me he loved me.”

Minhyuk’s forehead creased as his eyebrows furrowed, puzzled. “He said that?” 

“He didn’t  _ say  _ it but he was about to,” Kihyun said. “Which is why I don’t want him saying stuff he doesn’t mean. He can’t possibly mean it, he’s engaged.”

“Well… what if he does?” Minhyuk asked him in a soft voice. 

Kihyun stared at him, his face unreadable before looking away. “He doesn’t. He can’t.” 

“And if he does?” Hyunwoo asked. 

“I… I don’t know.” Kihyun shrugged. “I don’t know what I would do. It would be wonderful if I could have Hoseok in my life but I don’t think I’m worth all this trouble. I’m not asking for commitment, I just… I just don’t want him to neglect his own life over mine.”

Minhyuk frowned and brushed his hair back, his voice soft as he squeezed Kihyun’s shoulder. “Kihyun, you shouldn’t say that. I know we don’t have the best impression of Hoseok, but we don’t know how he really feels.”

Kihyun didn’t say anything back, instead only able to make some small noises of half hearted agreement. Hyunwoo gave Minhyuk a signal as to say to not push the topic with Kihyun anymore. Minhyuk looked like he wanted to protest but one look at how defeated Kihyun looked and he conceded. 

Hyunwoo was first to speak, saying that he would heat up some late night food they could all eat together. And though the gesture was small, Minhyuk could tell that Kihyun appreciated it more than anything.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“I thought I told you to not come back here.”

“You did, but I need to talk to him.”

Hyunwoo stared unblinkingly as he ran a hand through his hair. It was early in the morning, hours after Kihyun had fallen asleep in his bed in exhaustion. He was still asleep and Hyunwoo was enjoying the peace and quiet of being an early riser when Hoseok had showed up at his door, eyes wide and frazzled. Hyunwoo didn’t waste any time before he was stepping outside and closing the door behind him again, not allowing any chance of Hoseok coming in.

“He doesn’t need you to talk to him,” he said. “And this isn’t the first time I’ve told you not to come back. What do you keep coming back for?”

Hoseok shifted his weight back and forth. “I just… I want to talk to him.”

“From what I’ve heard, it sounds like you two have said enough to each other,” Hyunwoo said, his sentences short and to the point, punctuated with hard stares at Hoseok. “I really don’t think there’s much use of talking to him now.”

“You don’t understand,” Hoseok began as he narrowed his eyes. “I need to talk to Kihyun. I have to explain everything. He can’t think that everything I do is because I pity him—!”

“What does it matter to you what he thinks?”

Hoseok froze as he blinked at Hyunwoo, flabbergasted by the question. “What does it…? Of course it matters. Listen, I’ve got to be at rehearsal soon, if you could just let me talk to him—”

Hyunwoo cut him off with a brief chuckle. “I don’t think that’s going to happen. You’re going to turn around and leave. _ Now.” _ He crossed his arms firmly. “Before anyone can wake up.”

If it hadn’t bothered Hoseok before, it bothered him now; but something about Hyunwoo’s demeanor and body language rubbed him the wrong way. The way he crossed his arms over his chest as if to intimidate Hoseok—he didn’t like it. 

“What’s your problem?” he asked suddenly. 

Hyunwoo raised one of his eyebrows. “I’m sorry?”

Resisting the urge to click his tongue, Hoseok continued with some annoyance in his tone, “I mean, what’s your problem with  _ me? _ You keep telling me Kihyun doesn’t need me this, Kihyun’s doesn’t need me that—you don’t even know me!”

“So I’m supposed to let you see my cousin even though I don’t know you?” Hyunwoo asked with a light laugh of a scoff.

“That’s—”

“Sounds like backwards thinking to me.”

_ “Still.” _ Hoseok felt his hands begin to tense. “You hardly know who I am. My business with Kihyun doesn’t concern you.”

Hyunwoo frowned but held his ground. “I don’t  _ need  _ to know you to know how much you hurt my cousin. I don’t need to know you to know that what you’ve made my cousin go through is awful.”

“You don’t—!”

“You know he feels like a homewrecker because of you?” Hyunwoo asked. “I bet you didn’t. And I’m sure you don’t  _ mean  _ to make him feel that way, _ like you say, _ but so long as you’re wearing your engagement ring, you’re committed to someone else. And the fact that  _ you  _ kissed my cousin while being committed to someone else definitely means to me that I won’t be letting you inside this house any time soon.”

Hoseok swallowed, his voice coming out small as he said, “I just want to talk to him. He told me he was dying, how am I supposed to—? What am I supposed to think? I don’t know how to feel, I just want to talk to him about it.” 

And for a split second, Hoseok thought that Hyunwoo looked a little sorry, a little sympathetic. But Hyunwoo was quick to tell him no again and went back inside while sending him off with a final warning. His warning mirrored Kihyun’s, the  _ words don’t say things you don’t mean  _ echoing in Hoseok’s ears as the door closed in his face.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Hoseok could feel it in the theater. He could feel everybody’s eyes, judgment and opinions being all focused him. It was obvious that news had gotten around. He figured that maybe he could survive the first few days if Minah didn’t tell anyone, but judging from how it was the third day that Hoseok was being side-eyed and scoffed at, it was clear that Minah had told at least one other person and it was even clearer that news spread fast. The first two days, he could tell that people were whispering about him and Minah. He could see how all of their brains buzzed with speculation as they tried to find out why Minah was avoiding him like the plague. 

He supposed he deserved the cold shoulder from Minah. His ability to make things worse would justify it. He hadn’t meant to abandon Minah in the process of trying to run after Kihyun, but when he had returned to his apartment, Minah was gone as well. And he had felt so guilty that he couldn’t find the time to explain things to Minah when he was trying to find a way to communicate with Kihyun. But with Minhyuk and Hyunwoo ignoring every one of his attempts to communicate, he felt himself feeling smaller and smaller while his frustration steadily increased. Every single part of his body was taught with irritation.

It was the third day that he was sure every single person in the theater knew. He could tell from their icy stares and cold shoulders. Everyone knew. Nobody aside from Jooheon and Changkyun knew that Hoseok had kissed Kihyun, but from the look he received, it seemed that everyone deemed him as unfaithful. He could  _ feel  _ the word  _ cheater  _ being plastered to his face. And as much as he hated, he knew there was a part of him that had to deal with it.

Minah avoided his eyes every chance she got, and that was even if she was willing to be in the same room as him in the first place. Despite still wearing her ring, he knew there was a rift between them now. He knew Minah had said she wouldn’t stick up for him anymore, but he didn’t think she would tell anyone what had happened between them.

It was when he had picked up Jooheon to drive him to rehearsal that he tried to really make sense of it all. Jooheon could have drove himself but Hoseok needed someone to talk to because anyone else who could have listened absolutely hated him.

Jooheon could tell also. He was aware that he was here so Hoseok could talk. But it wasn’t until Hoseok parked at the theater’s parking lot did Jooheon slowly ask, “So… what did you want to talk about?”

Hoseok sighed through his nose as he leaned back in his seat. He had meant to talk on the way to the theater, but he couldn’t seem to find the words the whole car ride.

“These past few days,” Hoseok murmured, “have just been a roller coaster. And I don’t know what to do.”

“I’ve been hearing rumors at work,” Jooheon replied. “Don’t know what the truth is though.” 

So Hoseok told him. He told him everything he could remember—from kissing Kihyun, to every fight with Minah, to Hyunwoo constantly turning him away. And although letting out his experience felt nice, he couldn’t help but feel something in his chest eat away at him the more he talked and talked. Jooheon showed no expression, instead only listening intently to all of Hoseok’s words. 

It was when Hoseok was quiet again that Jooheon finally spoke.

“So… do you love him?” 

Hoseok’s heart leaped up into his throat in shock. He hadn’t expected that question at all. “Do I… what?”

“Do you love him?” Jooheon repeated, staring at the glove compartment in front of him. “Or do you love Minah?”

“I… I—”

“Or do you not know.”

Hoseok was quiet and Jooheon let out a deep, long sigh. 

“Look, Hoseok—I’m your friend. I care about you a lot and I’ve been trying to support you.” He shook his head. “But at this point, you’re being an idiot.” 

Looking over, Hoseok’s eyes were wide in surprise. He wanted to speak but Jooheon spoke sooner.

“I don’t care who you’re in love with. I want you to be happy, I really do. But… But you’re hurting people!” He let out a noise of exasperation. “You’ve hurt Kihyun, Minah, Changkyun! You can’t tell me you haven’t done anything wrong! You’re being so insufferably selfish that I don’t even think you realize it! You were jealous of Kibum getting the lead role—sure. But for what? Did you want to be Peter Pan or did you just want to be center stage? I know the director keeps saying he wants to push you as the face of our theater, but you’re just letting it get to your head. Minah doesn’t help your ego, but for fuck’s sake, you’re wrong if you don’t think you’re hurting anyone!”

Hoseok licked his lips. “Jooheon, I… I know—”

_ “No, _ Hoseok, you  _ don’t.  _ If you knew, you would have opened your eyes long enough to see how unfair your being. Sneaking off and leading Kihyun on? I don’t know how serious you are about him, but you’re engaged! Minah isn’t the greatest girl in the world, but don’t you think she deserves someone faithful? Someone who can tell her the truth? You’ve been going around lying and it’ll only last for so long, Hoseok! You’re so focused on yourself, Hoseok. You only care about how you’re feeling! Every time you talk, it’s about how you’re feeling! And I know you didn’t intend to hurt anyone, but truth is, you  _ did.  _ And you can’t even look away from your own feelings enough to see it.”

There was silence between them. It was neither tense nor comfortable, but Hoseok could feel all of Jooheon’s words hitting him like a ton of bricks at once. 

“You made a mess, Hoseok. I want to feel bad for you, but you need a reality check and I’m sorry it has to come from me but you’re being an asshole. You’re aware of what you’re doing but you just choose to ignore it. I’m supposed to be one of your best friend’s but have you ever really considered me these past months aside from needing to vent? I know I smile all the time, but you never once considered that maybe I wanted to be Peter Pan also? But I never complained about it like you did. And it’s because you’re letting center stage get to your head. You like the attention, Hoseok—but at what cost. Breaking hearts? Skipping work? Cheating on your wife to be? I care about you, Hoseok, but don’t expect me to sympathize with you anymore. We don’t revolve around your feelings.”

Jooheon began gathering his things and exited the car, his eyes dim with disappointment.

“Jooheon,” Hoseok tried to call out. “Jooheon, I’m sorry, I—”

He shook his head in return. “I’m not the one you should apologize to Hoseok.” Jooheon looked away as he sighed. “And Kihyun’s right—don’t say things you don’t mean. This isn’t Neverland. You’re not a boy.”

Hoseok tried calling out after him, tried to make more reasons or explanations as to why his situation was the way it was, but Jooheon closed the car door with a definitive slam and walked away.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Papa, when are we going to the park again?” 

Kihyun looked up and found Jangjun jumping on his bed, his sheets and pillows bouncing with the movement as his hair fluffed up and down. With a smile, Kihyun sat on the edge of his bed and rearranged the stuffed animals at the foot of it. 

“The park?” he asked.

Jangjun nodded. “Yeah! We haven’t been in a long time.”

“Almost a year!” Donghyun piped up as he climbed up into his own bed.

Frowning, Jibeom smoothed down his pillow and retorted, “Not a year! Maybe like… half a year!”

Kihyun made a face and snorted. “Boys, it has not been six months since we last went to the park.” He picked up one of Jangjun’s stuffed elephants to hold in his lap. “Only maybe… a few weeks?”

“Really? It feels like a year.” Donghyun pouted as he dived under his blankets.

“It  _ has  _ been a while,” Kihyun agreed as he stood up. The elephant in his arms, he began to walk over to grab the boys’ vitamin pills. “Minhyuk tells me you guys have been running around plenty in the backyard. Why do you want to go to the park so bad?”

“Because!” Jangjun said, still jumping up and down. “We want to find with Mr. Hoseok!”

Kihyun felt his hands physically clam around the elephant plushie as he willed the smile to stay on his face. He hadn’t had any contact with Hoseok since he had visited him some nights ago. “Really? What for?” 

“We want to play with him,” Jibeom replied. He pulled his quilt up onto his lap.

“You don’t want to play with Uncle Hyunwoo? Or Minhyuk?”

Jangjun made a face. “Uncle Hyunwoo isn’t fun like Mr. Hoseok is. He doesn’t play the pirate!”

Kihyun snickered to himself as he recalled how tired Hyunwoo had looked from trying to keep up with the boys a day ago. “But Uncle Hyunwoo can carry you guys too, right?”

“He plays papa bear sometimes,” Jibeom said matter-of-factly. “But all he does is carry us around. It’s not as fun as Mr. Hoseok is. I want to play with him again!”

Donghyun nodded as Kihyun grabbed the bottle of multivitamin pills and walked back to them. “Me too!” he exclaimed. “I miss saving papa from Mr. Hoseok.”

With a hum, Kihyun handed them their vitamins and went to pour them water. “You miss him?” 

“Yeah.” Jibeom heaved out a large sigh as he waited patiently for Kihyun to hand him a cup. “We miss him a lot. How come Mr. Hoseok doesn’t come over anymore?”

Kihyun swallowed. “Um…” 

“How come he doesn’t call?” Donghyun asked, blinking. 

Kihyun handed them all their plastic cups of water, careful not to spill on himself or the elephant. “Mr. Hoseok just… can’t really call us right now. He’s busy.”

“Busy with what?”

“Things are complicated.” Kihyun smiled with some force as he sat back down at at the end of Jangjun’s bed. 

Jibeom pouted a little sadly, wiggling his toes under the blanket as he asked, “How longs will things be complicated? We want to play with him again.”

Kihyun stared at the elephant in his lap as he brushed it's large, plush ears back and set it back to the foot of Jangjun’s bed where it belonged with all of his other toys. “I’m not sure,” he murmured. “Things might be complicated for a long time. But!” He pulled a grin on to his face. “That’s okay! You guys can play without him, can’t you?” And maybe Kihyun would have laughed at the way they collectively squirmed in their beds if the subject of the conversation wasn’t Hoseok.

The boys hadn’t seen Hoseok since they had kissed. It was clear to anyone that they missed Hoseok more than anything and Kihyun could even say that he missed Hoseok too, despite all the turmoil. And if he were honest, perhaps he just wanted Hoseok to prioritize his life instead of him. He would never deny that he loved everything Hoseok made him feel, but if it had to come down between Kihyun and Hoseok’s life, Kihyun would much rather he choose his own life. Or at the very least, he wanted Hoseok to figure out where Kihyun fit into his life. Surely, Hoseok loved the boys also—but Kihyun would rather be damned than have Hoseok lose everything he had built in his life thus far because of him. He would never be able to deal with that kind of responsibility. And even though Minhyuk reassured him that the way Hoseok felt was never his responsibility, Kihyun just couldn’t help but feel so.

“Enough talk, boys,” he said after listening to them chat among themselves. “Take your vitamins and then sleep. We have start practicing waking up early! School is going to be starting up soon, remember?” 

Jangjun both groaned in agony before taking his pill like instructed. Jangjun gave Kihyun his empty cup and flopped down onto his bed. “I don’t want to go back to school! I want it to be summer forever.”

Kihyun chuckled as he went to collect Jibeom’s now empty cup. “Why not? You told me you loved playing with your class last year.” 

“Yeah, but playing this summer is so much more fun,” he stressed as he pulled his blanket up to his neck.

“I want to see my friends!” Jibeom said, his face perking in excitement.

Kihyun smiled at him as he walked to Donghyun’s bed and took his cup also. “Don’t you want to see your friends, Jangjun?”

Jangjun huffed, making himself more comfortable in bed as he said, “Yeah… but I want to stay home and play with you and Mr. Hoseok instead. How come Donghyun doesn’t have to go to school?!” 

“Because he’s four,” Kihyun said, making a face and snickering. “And he goes to preschool.”

“But not all day like us!”

Kihyun only shrugged and laughed at the way Jangjun pouted in frustration. Despite all the frustrations of the past few days, it felt so relaxing and indulgent to just bask in these moments with his sons. It kept Kihyun tethered in the swirling rapids and he couldn’t have been more grateful for them than now. 

After going around the bedroom one more time to make sure they were all snug and comfortable, Kihyun went to turn off the lights and close the door. But before he could step foot outside, Donghyun’s voice floated towards him in the dim light of their star stenciled nightlight. 

“Papa, do you not take your poison medicine anymore?”

Kihyun looked up in half surprise. “Hm?”

“Your poison that we have to take away with kisses,” Donghyun continued. “You don’t take it anymore?” Jibeom and Jangjun stared at him expectantly, also curious. 

After pursing his lips together briefly, Kihyun relaxed into a gentle smile and replied, “No, papa isn’t going to take that anymore. There’s too much poison. It’s bad for papa.”

“Oh…” Jibeom muttered. “Did the hospital say that?”

Kihyun hummed. “Yes, the hospital told me that. Don’t worry—less poison is good.”

“How will you be protected against all the bad guys?” Jangjun asked, sitting up in bed a little to stare at him. “Don’t you need protection? Who will protect you now?” 

“I—”

“Mr. Hoseok will!” Jibeom was quick to answer, his face lighting up as he spoke. “Right? He’s so strong, he can protect you.”

“Yeah!” Donghyun grinned as he nodded along.

Kihyun tried to not let the smile on his face slip as he began to close the door. “I’m not sure about that boys. We already have Minhyuk and Uncle Hyunwoo, remember?”

“But Mr. Hoseok is so good at protecting you, sometimes we can’t save you.” 

Swallowing, Kihyun smiled with some difficulty. “I… I suppose you’re right. Maybe Mr. Hoseok will protect me if he ever comes back,” he said in a soft voice. 

It seemed to appease the boys and they went under their covers happily while Kihyun closed the door with a quiet click after saying a few more good nights. But once the door shut, he couldn’t seem to swallow the lump in his throat. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Laying in the darkness of his room, Hoseok stared up at the ceiling in thought. The emptiness seemed to stimulate the cogs in his head and with all the time on his hands, it seemed that all he could manage was thinking. He barely ate when he got home, his appetite small and uninviting. All he could do was pace and lay in places while he thought and thought about how he felt.

Rehearsal had gone by in a blur. He couldn’t pay attention to everyone’s judgmental eyes when he was so distracted by Jooheon’s words.He was off kilter and the world was spinning. He had snapped at Kibum in rehearsal and Kibum had almost started a fight in retaliation. Hyungwon yelled at him more times than once for spacing out but Hoseok couldn’t even register his anger. Jooheon wouldn’t talk to him, only talking to him briefly to say that Changkyun would take him home instead. Everything felt miserable and Hoseok couldn’t pinpoint why.

No. He  _ could  _ pinpoint why. Jooheon’s words continued to ring in his head and he couldn’t sleep. And Hoseok got the sinking feeling that maybe he was right. Maybe he created the circumstances he was in. Maybe there really was no one else to blame. 

So taking out his phone at one in the morning, he wrote a text that he sent with sweaty hands. There was a chance he wasn’t ready, but he figured that he would never be ready to face it if he kept waiting.

_ Hey Minah. Come meet me tomorrow. We’ll talk. _

_ About what? I don’t want to talk to you. _

_ Please, just come meet me. I’ll give you the answers you want. _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is hoseok finally doing what he should have done from the start  
> maybe
> 
> also once again sorry for such a delayed update, school just started and i'm getting a little overwhelmed asdfkjl but its ok i'll do my best to try and update weekly like i used to but the schedule is going to be a little irregular for a while! pls hang in there with me ; v ;
> 
> also hbd to our joohoney, we love him


	12. faith, trust, and pixie dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Think of the happiest things  
> It's the same as having wings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg i would like to say sorry for disappearing for a month+  
> i said updates would be slower because of school but in the end i didnt update until school finished rip  
> so sorry about the delay!!!!! but i hope this extra long chapter makes up for it ; v ;   
> please enjoy!

Hoseok tapped his foot nervously as he stared out the large, glass window next to him. He felt nervous for what felt like the millionth time in the past few days. It had taken more than a day to convince Minah to meet him; he could only text her in desperation, since she didn’t speak to him at rehearsals at all. She kept avoiding his gaze whenever he tried to go up to her. It felt even worse since Jooheon refused to talk to him also —he felt lonely. There was no one to talk to. And he supposed he didn’t really have anyone else to blame but himself.

Jooheon was right. The problem wasn’t about Hoseok, it was about his actions and he didn’t know why he couldn’t figure that out sooner. It ate him alive, how guilty he felt. To think for even a second that it was his idiocy that cause so much pain and damage—Hoseok couldn’t stand it. 

He had thought long and hard about his feelings. And he had considered a lot of things in the process but ultimately, he now knew where he stood. It had taken too long, but he knew now. It was a shame that Jooheon’s kick in the ass was exactly what he had needed to think straight.

He heard the door to the small diner open with a soft jingle and felt his palms get sweaty when Minah entered. 

“Hey,” he said softly as she approached.

She looked at him, almost pitifully, before setting her purse down and sitting across from him. “Hi,” she said. Her arms were crossed and she looked as though she didn’t want to make any small talk.

“I ordered some drinks for us.” Hoseok licked his lips, uncomfortable. “While we talk.”

Minah blinked at him before averting her gaze to the side. “Okay,” was all she said in reply.

The silence was suffocating as they sat there, not looking at each other and not speaking. Every time Hoseok tried to look at her, the overwhelming feeling of guilt stuffed him in the throat and made it harder to breathe. He tried to swallow it down but it didn’t do a thing. Minah refused to look at him and it only made him feel more nervous. 

Seven minutes passed before drinks were brought to their small table. Minah thanked the waiter with a quiet nod, as did Hoseok, and some of the tension dissolved as they broke opened their straws and sipped on their drinks. There was something innocently juvenile about the way they drank the tall drinks in front of them and a  bittersweetness hit Hoseok’s tongue when he remembered that they had gone a date here once a year or so prior, talking so happily about their plans for the future. Hoseok hadn’t expected his plans to change so drastically.

It was quiet for another two minutes before Minah finally spoke up. “So,” she said. “You wanted to talk.”

Hoseok took in a deep breath and swirled his drink around in the tall glass. “...Yeah,” he replied in a quiet voice. “I did.”

“You said you would give me answers.”

“I did,” he said again.

“Okay then,” Minah said, drawing circles on the vinyl table with her manicured nail. Without looking up, she asked, “Who’s Kihyun?” 

With a long sip of his drink, Hoseok blinked down at the table in front of him, almost in shame, as he began, “Kihyun is… Kihyun is a man I met some time ago. We met at this park where I ran into his kids first and then I met him and we started getting closer after I started playing with them. And then I was going over to his house for dinner.”

“Without telling me.”

“...Without telling you,” Hoseok confirmed under his breath.

Minah sighed and leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms as he made eye contact with him after a long minute of avoiding his gaze. “Well then. Tell me about him.”

Hoseok raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Tell you? About Kihyun?”

“Yes,” Minah repeated. There was an undeniable softness that lay buried underneath her sharp gaze. “Tell me about him. Tell me why you… Tell me what makes him so special to you.”

And Hoseok hated to admit that he lit up like the sun when he began to talk about Kihyun, but he did. He became impossibly bright when he mentioned how kind Kihyun was, how dedicated he was, and how absolutely beautiful his personality was. The light in his eyes was positively uncontainable as he spoke about Kihyun’s children —each boy and their respective, unique personalities and how much their small, compact family loved each other. He even was able to sneak Minhyuk into the conversation, saying how even though he played off his presence as very minimal, Kihyun depended on him more than anyone. 

Minah was quiet the entire time. Hoseok told the story of how Kihyun’s husband left him, how he adopted his kids one by one and was planning on a fourth, how his entire life revolved on raising his children well and how even when Hoseok entered the picture, his focus never left his sons and the entire time, Minah stayed silent. She kept her gaze trained on her drink and occasionally shifted it from side to side, drawing patterns with the wet circles that appeared underneath. If Hoseok didn’t know any better, he would think that she wasn’t even paying attention—but he knew her. And he knew that she was hanging on to every word.

“So he’s why you’ve been skipping rehearsals?” she asked in a hushed voice after Hoseok paused. 

Hoseok swallowed. “Yes.” 

She scoffed lightly. “Wow,” she chuckled under her breath. “Not like I didn’t see that coming.” 

“Minah—”

“You love him?”

There was a pregnant pause between them before Hoseok quietly replied, “...Yeah. I think… I think I’m in love with Kihyun.”

“So how come,” she said, “you don’t care about… your career? Why don’t you care about impressing Hyungwon? Why do you have the audacity to be jealous of Kibum’s role when you act like you don’t want attention?” She looked up at last, her eyes shaking as she asked, “What did I do to make you fall out of love with me?” 

“You didn’t do anything,” Hoseok said quickly. “It wasn’t your fault I fell in love with Kihyun, it… it just happened. And if I could have stopped myself from falling, I would have.” In shame, he looked down to his lap. “Even then… I didn’t want to. And I’m so sorry, Minah. I’m so sorry for all the pain I caused you and I just want to apologize for all the damage I’ve done. You didn’t deserve any of it. And I’m sorry that I would lash out at you when you were only trying to express concern.”

Minah pursed her lips bitterly as though all of their arguments from the past couple of months had resurfaced into her mind. The pain seemed to be fresh in her memory as she averted her gaze, the look in her eyes clearly very hurt still. “I… I can admit…” she started slowly, “that I was too pushy in the beginning. That I was… too concerned with a career that wasn’t my own. I wanted you to be famous but not for you—so that I could live vicariously through it.”

“Minah, it isn’t—”

“That’s what it was, Hoseok. I talked it through with my friend while I stayed with her and… I can admit that I was wrong in that aspect. But even if I was wrong… I didn’t think I would push you away to the point of you cheating on me.”

“That’s not what happened.”

“How could it not be?”

“I didn’t… I didn’t cheat on you because you were pushy or anything.” Hoseok looked up to engage her, though she didn’t return his gaze. “I just think with all the pressure on me in the theater to be the one to break into mainstream media eventually, I just found a comfort in Kihyun and his family that I couldn’t find with anyone else. And I got lost in it. With the competitiveness in the theater and my jealousy with Kibum… I forgot what it was like to actually care for people other than myself. Because even when I did have Kihyun, I was still being so selfish. I wasn’t thinking of anybody but myself and I guess that blinded me to all the hurt I was causing. It blinded me and I chose to ignore it. And it’s completely my fault, Minah, I’m so sorry.”

“You were willing to throw everything away? Because you found fulfillment in Kihyun and his family?” she asked.

It felt hard to answer. Words became stuck in Hoseok’s throat as he fiddled with his fingers. It was a minute before he could get any words out.

“Yeah,” he whispered. “I really would.”

Minah laughed bitterly as she looked up at the ceiling, fresh tears glistening in her eyes as she tried to keep them from falling. “God,” she snorted. “I wish I was surprised but I’m not. It’s entirely  _ such  _ a you thing to do, Hoseok.”

“Minah, I—”

“You know, when we first started dating, I knew you were passionate. You always put one hundred percent into everything that you did and loved and I thought… I thought that was going to be the theater. The theater and me. But I see now that I was wrong.” She shook her head and wiped her tears away.

“I’m sorry if I sound like an asshole,” Hoseok muttered. “But the theater and the prospect of fame could only keep me going for so long. And since you cared more about the fame than me, I didn’t… I guess I felt like I didn’t have anything going for me except that. But with Kihyun? Kihyun was someone I felt like I could dedicate my life to. Someone that would still be there if my fame and potential went away.”

Minah stirred her drink mindlessly with her straw. “So you find stability in Kihyun that you don’t find with me?” 

Hoseok swallowed. “...Yeah. You can say that. I love theater and you but… my heart really just lays with Kihyun. And I’m sorry I had hurt you in order to figure that out.”

Minah scoffed and snorted, saying, “Yeah, I’m sorry too. Would have been so much easier if you just… just told me sooner. You’ve been acting like such a dick lately and if you had just told me—”

“I know,” Hoseok said quietly. “And I’m sorry.”

“Do you, though? Do you know? Really?” A stare as sharp as daggers came from Minah’s eyes. “You look like such a shit head to everyone. Skipping rehearsals and not taking everything seriously—I made a fool out of myself standing up for you. I care about you, Hoseok, and I still do but you’re such an idiot!”

Hoseok smiled bitterly down into his palms and replied, “Yeah, I… I kept telling myself it was all for Kihyun. I said that everything I did was because I put him first but really, I think I was putting myself first. I couldn’t get enough of what I felt with him and I guess… I guess I was addicted.”

Minah didn’t say anything, only looking at Hoseok for a prolonged moment until he looked back up at her. She blinked at him. “Does he know?” 

Hoseok bristled visibly in his seat at the question. “What…?” 

“Kihyun. The way you talk about him. You love him, don’t you? You said you did. But does he know?” 

And Hoseok thought about the moment Kihyun had ran out of his home and the moment he had caught up with him and how in that second of desperation, he had almost told him—had almost told Kihyun that he loved him, that he really did love him. 

But he had been a coward, still trying to lie to himself about why he treated Kihyun the way he did.

“No,” he said after a moment. “He doesn’t know.”

Minah sighed and then broke into a sharp, harsh laugh. “So you were an asshole to him too.” 

Hoseok smiled, albeit sheepishly, as he rubbed his nape in embarrassment. “Yeah… I was… I was just an all around dick. I definitely got that from Jooheon.”

“Jooheon yelled at you?”

“Yeah.”

“Damn, then you were really being an ass.” Minah sighed. 

Silence engulfed them again as they went back to sipping at their drinks. But Hoseok could feel a giant knot of stress relieve itself from his shoulders because the tension between him and Minah had partially dissolved. It felt so refreshing to see Minah be real with him, raw with him. He had felt that ever since they had gotten engaged, Minah had become more distant. Her heels were louder, her nails were cleaner and her hair was always done—everything about her had seemed to be trimmed and crimped at the edges into a lady. Hoseok knew that she had just become the image of who she wanted to be and while Hoseok still loved her, he knew she had changed. It didn’t bother him, but to be able to see her like this—vulnerable and with her walls down—Hoseok wanted to reach over and hug her. But that wasn’t for Hoseok to do anymore. 

“You know,” Minah spoke up suddenly, “I know this is a shitty…  _ shitty  _ situation. Looking at you, I can’t believe you cheated on me. I don’t know if I could ever forgive you for it but I want you to know that despite all that I’m…” she took a deep breath and shook her head as she finished with, “I’m happy for you.”

He felt an unfamiliar sensation bloom in his chest—relief, confusion and even some affection—as he regarded Minah with a gentle tilt of his head. “I don’t understand… you’re happy?”

“I’m not  _ happy,”  _ she clarified. “I’m disappointed at how things are turning out and I’m more upset at how clearly unrepairable our relationship is. But I do still care very much about you and even though it’s not me you’re in love with anymore, I’m… I’m glad you’ve found it in someone else.” 

“Oh,” he breathed out. He smiled at her fondly and said, “Thank you, Minah. In an ideal world, I would want us to still be friends but I’m not sure if that would be a good idea.”

“It really isn’t,” Minah said with a sympathetic smile. “I don’t think we’ll be able to stay friends in the way you want or the way I want so I think it’s best if we don’t. But I do wish the best for you.”

“Me too, for you. I’m really, so sorry for all the pain I caused you and even more for the times I didn’t realize I was hurting you. I hope all the best for you, Minah, and I really hope you find what you’re looking for.”

Minah chuckled, one laced with empathy and also bitterness, and said, “Me too. I’m sorry that I was unwilling to acknowledge that you changed.” 

“You think I’ve changed?” 

“Of course you have.” She stirred her drink absentmindedly. “I’m sure you didn’t notice since you said yourself, you’ve been in denial up until recently, but you feel… different.”

Hoseok blinked at her, thinking. “How so?”

Minah sat back in her chair and looked at her hands, seemingly trying to put her thoughts and feelings into words. “I guess… I guess you could say that at the beginning of the production, I really thought you would fit Peter Pan. More so, as we continued working on it because Peter Pan seemed like you. He’s fearless, joyful and vibrant just as he’s thoughtless, arrogant and self centered. And when we started dating you had this adolescent bravado about you that I always thought would aid in you being Peter Pan. Even now, there’s a childishness about you but it’s not the way it was before. I used to think you would fit Peter Pan but now… now not as much. Some of that bravado I used to know is gone. And I’m sure it’s a good thing, but I’m just sorry I won’t be around to see it.” 

She punctuated her thoughts by pulling a smile onto her face and Hoseok was unsure if it was a backhanded compliment or not. But Hoseok understood what she meant. He realized that had changed—that his meeting and relationship with Kihyun was humbling and maturing him and what was left of his childishness had been refined. He felt more balanced now, like meeting Kihyun was what he needed to grow into the potential he had. And perhaps now he was no longer Peter Pan to Minah, but he supposed that wasn’t a bad thing.

“I think I understand,” he said after a moment. And then after a moment, he snickered, “I’m sure Kibum brings more qualities of Peter Pan to the table more than I do, now that I think about it.”

Minah let out a laugh of her own. “His version of Peter Pan brings out more of that arrogant and stupidly confident side, but it’s not like I’m the director, I’m not going to say anything.” She leaned in and then whispered, “You know that’s what irks Hyungwon the most. I was pushing you so hard to do well because I thought Kibum would be a threat to you getting a contract from Hyungwon but after seeing what he has to say to Kibum during rehearsals, I’m not so worried. It’s pretty obvious that he doesn’t think Kibum is cut out for the role.”

“How come they never recast?” 

Snorting, Minah replied, “Because the only other person the director considered was you and you were already cast as Hook. Although I guess you could be taken out of the role now since your understudy has basically filled in your spot.”

Hoseok winced and smiled sheepishly. “Right, right.”

“Hyungwon says he wishes that our production had a Peter Pan that was more joyful and bright. Guess Kibum isn’t cutting it.”

“I guess not,” Hoseok agreed. 

It felt nice to laugh a little with Minah despite the circumstances. Minah looked out the large window beside them and sighed wistfully as the smile faded off of her face. Hoseok watched her carefully, noticed how all the cogs were turning in her head as she turned back to him.

“I’m really glad we talked, Hoseok. After all this time fighting and arguing I’m just so thankful that we can end on good terms. I wasn’t planning on giving you a chance but I’m glad I did.”

“Thank you, Minah, really,” Hoseok said sincerely, “for coming out to listen to me. I know I did you wrong and I don’t think I could ever apologize enough times, but I’m glad we’re ending on good terms too.”

“Can I ask you one thing? Before we go?” 

“Of course.”

“Did you…? Did you ever kiss Kihyun? While we were together?” 

The look in Minah’s eyes were earnest and Hoseok licked his lips nervously. Shifting in his seat, his voice went quiet as he replied, “...Yes. I did, once.” He listened to Minah sigh in disappointment and continued, “Kihyun got mad at me because… well, he didn’t know I was engaged. But when he did find out, he made it a point to try and stop seeing me. And really, it was when he pushed me away that I could take a step back and look at all the damage I’d done.” 

Minah smiled and laughed breathily through her nose, nodding, although she didn’t look amused by any of Hoseok’s words. She only looked defeated and tired. “Thank you for being honest with me. I know I don’t know Kihyun but… he sounds like a good man.”

Hoseok nodded. “He is.”

“Well!” she said after a letting out a deep breath. “I guess there’s only one thing left to do.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“You’re  _ what?”  _

“We’re calling off the wedding.” 

Changkyun looked shocked to the core, his mouth open and his hands going so slack he almost dropped his clipboard. “I-I… I’m so sorry, what happened?” 

“Minah and I had an honest talk,” Hoseok replied with a small, sad shrug. “And after talking everything out, we decided it would be best to go our separate ways.”

“Really?” Changkyun sputtered out. “What did you talk about?”

“Kihyun.” Hoseok chuckled at Changkyun’s shock to his blunt response. “And we figured out that I’m pretty much in love with him.”

“You’re calling off the wedding over Kihyun?”

“Not really over him—more like after he came into my life I changed, and now we’ve taken the time to see where we really stand.”

“Oh… That’s… good, I think?” 

Hoseok smiled and replied, “Yeah, it’s good. It’s good for both of us. Sucks that it’s got to happen like this but.” He shrugged again. “We’re both after different things now.”

“And you’re after Kihyun…?” 

He paused in thought, staring at the ground as he pouted his lips. “I guess it’s something like that. More than anything I just want to apologize to him and make things right. And I would be lucky afterwards if he was still willing to have me. Oh, that reminds me, I wanted to apologize to you too.” 

Changkyun blinked. “Me?” 

“Yeah,” he said with a firm nod. “You trusted me around Kihyun and I definitely proved myself unworthy. So I’m sorry for any anger I caused you also.” 

“Oh… Thank you for that,” Changkyun replied slowly. He played with the edges of the sheet on his clipboard. “I’m glad that you’ve worked things out.” 

“Me too.”

“Have you told everyone yet?” Changkyun asked quickly, jamming his question in before Hoseok could walk away.

Hoseok looked over his shoulder and pursed his lips. “Well, I’ve told you,” he chuckled. “Minah said she had told most of everyone else already. And we’re currently tackling telling our families that we’re splitting up. It’s going to be difficult but I suppose I’m lucky enough that Minah is willing to help me take responsibility for my mistakes.” He was going to say something more when he heard the director’s voice calling for the main actors to appear on stage. “That sounds like my cue. I’m going to head onto stage, I’ll see you in a bit.” 

“Oh—wait!” 

Hoseok paused in his steps as Changkyun came up next to him.

“I wanted to say sorry too. For that one time you told me what was going on with Kihyun and I snapped at you,” he said. He blinked rapidly. “I didn’t mean to snap, really, I just— I was so mad—” 

“Stop, you don’t have to defend yourself,” Hoseok interrupted. “What I did was wrong. You were mad at me for cheating on Minah, I know—”

“I’m still sorry,” Changkyun said. “I’m Kihyun’s friend also and I should have talked with you, made you figure it out then instead of letting it go on this long. But instead I just refused to talk to you instead of trying to work things out so that we could work on fixing things—”

Hoseok put a hand on his shoulder. “Really, Changkyun, it isn’t your fault. If anything, that’s what I had Jooheon for,” he laughed. “Kicking me in the ass and all.”

Changkyun’s lips quirked in a sideways smile. “Oh, Jooheon was the one to kick you in the ass?”

“Yup.” 

“Figures.” 

“I needed it,” Hoseok chuckled.

“Does he know?” Changkyun asked. “About you guys breaking off the engagement?”

Hoseok shook his head. “No, not yet. I still need to tell him. Is he here today?”

“Uh, no. Well, I mean he will be since he’s scheduled to rehearse in a few hours but he’s not here right now.”

“I see. I’ll need to tell him,” Hoseok said to himself. “Oh speaking of needing to tell people—Minhyuk still won’t take any of my calls so is it okay if I ask you to tell him what’s been happening…? And have him call me?”

“Oh—? Oh, yeah of course. Are you going to…? Talk to Kihyun also?”

Hoseok licked his lips, unsure of the answer. “I’ll try to,” he said finally. “I’m going to stop by their house tomorrow and see if I can talk to him but I’m not sure how well that turn out.” He paused. “But… only if Minhyuk knows and lets me.”

“Well… good luck.” The look in Changkyun’s eyes were full of earnest when he spoke. Hoseok didn’t have anything to say in return except for a nod. 

For the first time in a while, he felt more comfortable in the theater. Maybe it was the fact that he wasn’t hiding anymore, he wasn’t lying through his teeth about what he was doing anymore. So maybe the entire theater knew he cheated and that he hurt Minah—but he and Minah had reached a settlement. And now everybody also knew that he loved Kihyun. Kihyun wasn’t a conquest—he never was—but this feeling of liberation was something that Hoseok only wanted to share with him. He wanted to jump into his arms and tell him the truth, tell him how he really felt about him without any restrictions. It never on accident that he liked Kihyun. Every move he made had so much more purpose behind it now.

He could tell that people in the theatre knew—he could tell from the way they looked at him and from the way they avoided the topic like it was the plague. He assumed that Minah had put all the gossip to rest finally and while the shock was still ever present in their eyes, the dust had seemed to settle. Walking past Minah to get to his spot on stage, he could no longer feel any animosity from her. Instead there was a mutual peace with each other’s decisions and even if no one else was okay with it, as long as he and Minah were, that was all that mattered in the end. Everyone could give them all the judgmental looks they wanted but Hoseok didn’t need their opinions—all he needed was to trust himself. All he needed was conviction and he had it now. 

No more second guessing his actions and making excuses. No more putting blame on everything else. So long as he knew what he believed in, he would be fine. 

And he believed that he had real feelings, deep and ethereal, for Kihyun. 

Even Kibum’s smug face staring at him from across the stage didn’t get under his skin like it used to because he wasn’t afraid of being found out anymore—there was no longer anything to hide. 

“Well, you look like you got some more sleep,” he commented as they met at the middle of the stage. 

Hoseok shrugged politely. “I think I did. Feels a lot better.” 

That awful smile full of malice appeared on Kibum’s face again as he said, “Why? Because you called off your wedding? Because you can cheat on Minah full time now?” 

“Not cheating if we broke up,” he replied. He heard Hyungwon shout some stage directions and out of the corner of his eye, saw some stage hands scrambling. Minah was in the wings, watching him without much interest. He wasn’t sure if she could hear them. 

Kibum snorted, tossing the short faux dagger in his hands up and down. “You piece of shit. You’d give up a life with Minah for some sorry single dad you met this year?”

Hoseok felt himself frown at that. His hand tightened around his sword as his gaze hardened. “You know, Kibum, it’s really none of your business what Kihyun is to me.” 

“Right, right—now that you guys are broken up you can say his name now.” His smile was shining, menacing. Hoseok didn’t like it. “Must be nice, being able to swing both ways and still get what you want.” He looked up in thought. “Although I suppose you lost Minah and your friends. Oh, you never got the main role to begin with so I guess you never lost that. Amazing how you’re still Captain Hook despite all the rehearsals you missed.” 

“Give it a  _ rest,  _ Kibum,” Hoseok murmured as the lighting changed. The light was harsher now, casting hard shadows behind them. 

“I don’t know, you seem to be getting too much rest. Is that what you do over there? Go rest in daddy’s arms.” Kibum snickered to himself. 

“Stop.”

“What’s his name? Kihyun, right?” Hoseok knew that Kibum knew his name. “Kihyun must be really something, for you to drop everything just to kiss him. He a good kisser or something?” 

“Keep his name out of your mouth,” Hoseok said. He didn’t feel that same anger from days and weeks before boiling in his stomach anymore—instead all the anger he felt was calm. “You’re in for something if you keep talking.”

“Ooh, is that a threat?”

“It will be if you don’t shut your mouth and maybe,” Hoseok shrugged, “I don’t know, actually do well for once.” He basked in the annoyed twitch that came from Kibum’s eye for a moment as he continued, “I may not have gotten the role of Peter Pan but that doesn’t mean you’re a good one.”

_ “What?”  _

“Although maybe you are—you really exemplify what it means to be an arrogant, self centered brat.” Minah was focused on them now as well as some other actors. While stagehands and backstage crew members bustled around them, there seemed to be a growing attention towards Hoseok and Kibum. “Seems like you’re wonderful at doing that, judging how many times you talk back to Hyungwon.” 

“He’s not the director,” Kibum scoffed. “It’s none of your business.”

_ “Oh,”  _ Hoseok sang in amusement, “I see. It’s none of  _ my  _ business but all of my business really seems to be part of yours for some reason since you always bring it up when you see me. You have nothing else to say, do you? Because you can’t shit on my acting when you act the way you do.”

Kibum rolled his eyes but Hoseok could tell that he was angry. “Well, when you disappear from rehearsals, cheat on your girl, and try to make it all okay, you make it my business. Maybe if you had your shitty life together, it wouldn’t need to be anyone’s business. Maybe if you weren’t sneaking around with Kihyun, I wouldn’t need to talk about it.” 

It was a shit argument, anyone could tell. And Hoseok knew it was just to get under his skin. And maybe it was working a little bit from the telltale quickening of his pulse. All Kibum wanted was a fight.

“I told you to keep his name out of your mouth,” Hoseok repeated. “I really mean it, Kibum.” 

“Or what? You’ll break up with me?” Kibum’s smile was snide. “I’ll call your little homewrecker whatever I want.” 

It was went Hoseok took a step forward, his hand clenched in a fist, that a hand landed on his chest. “That’s enough, boys.” It was Minah. “Cut it out.” 

Kibum glanced at her, his gaze filled with an amusement as she stepped in between them. “Minah to the rescue,” he whistled. “Even  _ you’re  _ defending his cheating ass?”

Minah narrowed her eyes. “I’m not  _ defending  _ anything. Just quit the fighting, you’re being immature.” 

“Have you ever met Hoseok’s special man?” 

Hoseok felt Minah’s hand harden on his chest and he wasn’t sure if it was her reaction to Kibum’s question or an attempt to keep him from going any closer. 

“I haven’t,” she said, her jaw clenched. “But that’s—”

“What’s so special about him that’s go you whipped too? You let your boyfriend leave you for him?”

“I’m not whipped, Kibum—” 

“Unless you’re just not good enough or something?” Kibum gave a feline grin and Hoseok could feel all the muscles in his body go taut. 

_ “Kibum, stop,” _ she snapped. 

Kibum raised an eyebrow as he regarded Minah. “So tell me then—what’s Kihyun got that you don’t?” Hoseok glared at him. “Stop talking out of your ass.” 

“Like, maybe I would understand Hoseok more if you just aren’t fulfilling him in the relationship or something, is all I’m saying.” He stared straight at Hoseok as he said, “Perhaps Kihyun is better at some things than I know of.”

If Kibum wanted a fight then he was going to get it. The adrenaline in Hoseok’s body was at its maximum when he pushed Minah aside, his other fist clenched hard as he landed a punch right on Kibum’s cheekbone. A collective gasp seemed to be let out from the entire building, everyone’s eyes going wide as they watched Kibum stumble to the floor. 

His knuckles pulsed as he heard everybody break out into chatter around them, sounding shocked and outraged but Hoseok could register none of it as he stared down at Kibum from where he stood. He could hear the director astoundedly yelling his name and Hyungwon shouting, asking what had gotten into him. It was strange because Hoseok didn’t feel angry—only the ecstacy of catharsis as people rushed to Kibum’s side in panic.

“What the  _ fuck?!” _ he shouted, clutching his cheek.

Hoseok didn’t even blink. “I told you to keep his name out of your mouth,” he said. Then turning to Minah, he helped her up from where he had pushed her down a little too roughly. “Are you alright?”

Minah eyed him strangely as she stood up. “I’m fine,” she muttered.

“Sorry about that.” Hoseok nodded.

She brushed him off and took some steps back, creating distance between them. “It’s fine,” she said under her breath. “Kibum deserved it.” 

Hoseok couldn’t quite register anything else after that. He heard Hyungwon calling for him to take the rest of the day off and fix his attitude lest he wished to be kicked out of the entire production as a whole. The director was protesting faintly in the background as Hoseok just gave a crooked smile and walked offstage. 

He didn’t even think twice before taking off his costume and accessories and immediately heading out backstage. People’s eyes were on him but it didn’t impact Hoseok one bit—they had been staring at him for some time now anyways. But this time, he didn’t care for the reason they stared at him anymore. Anything that anyone felt towards him—disgust, sympathy, sorrow or astonishment—he didn’t need any of it. It shouldn’t have felt as good as it did but the release of the tightness in his chest was so relieving and wonderful, he felt lighter than ever. 

In fact, Hoseok was sure that it had been his finest moment on stage yet.

And for the first time in what felt like ages, Hoseok was proud of himself. In the crumbling disaster of the aftermath of his mistakes, punching Kibum felt like his life was turning around and heading down the right path.

And it was when Hoseok was driving back to his home, his chest full of triumph and content for finally giving Kibum a piece of his mind, that his phone rang. He wasn’t planning on talking to anyone else today, and he would have ignored it had it not been for the caller ID telling him that the caller was Minhyuk.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“And what else did you do today, baby?”

Donghyun blinked in thought as he held his arms tight around Kihyun’s neck as they walked up the sidewalk to their house. Donghyun’s preschool was only a couple streets down, so after Jibeom and Jangjun got driven off to school by Minhyuk, Kihyun had breakfast with Donghyun and then walked him to his preschool. And then after a few hours, he would walk over to pick him up and take him home. 

“Today we learned how to count by fives!” he said proudly. “Did you know I can count all the way to fifty now?” 

“Can you?! No way!” Kihyun gasped as he reached into his pocket for his key. He paused to place a loud kiss on Donghyun’s cheek and said, “My baby is so smart, isn’t he?” He bent his knees slightly to reach the door keyhole with Donghyun still in his arms. “Do you want something special for a snack since you can count to fives now?”

“Can Minhyuk make us pancakes?!” 

“Pancakes?” Kihyun made a face. “For a snack?” 

“A special snack!” 

Belatedly, he noticed that the car out front was gone, which meant Minhyuk had probably run off to do something when Kihyun had went to pick Donghyun up. He could briefly remember receiving a text from him earlier, saying that he would be picking up his new medication. 

Kihyun frowned as he remembered the conversation he had had with Minhyuk and Hyunwoo. He wasn’t against the new prescription, but he just wasn’t sure if it was worth the money when he was already this far. The last medicine had clearly not helped him and Kihyun really wondered if there was anything left that would really do anything for him. 

But Minhyuk was insistent—saying that so long as they had a chance, they would take it. And Hyunwoo had agreed wholeheartedly, saying that they would respect Kihyun’s opinions but they also wanted to try till the very end. Kihyun knew money was object when it came to his medical funds, especially now that Hyunwoo was here to support him, but was still so unsure about it all. 

“How about for a special snack,” he said as he pushed the door open, “we cut up some peaches? And make them into stars!”

“Ooh!” Donghyun exclaimed, any thought of pancakes disappearing from his mind as his eyes lit up. “Yes! I love star peaches!”

“And I’ll make them by fives, so you can count them. How about that?” Kihyun asked, taking off his shoes. 

“Yes, please!” 

Kihyun chuckled as he took Donghyun’s shoes off with one hand. “Alright, then that’s what we’ll do!” 

He placed the small shoes down on the floor, next to the assorted shoe sizes of their family when he noticed a larger pair nearest to the door. Kihyun blinked confusedly—he thought Hyunwoo had gone off to work today. Perhaps he had come back home while Kihyun was out. 

Kihyun shifted Donghyun in his arms, ignoring how Donghyun started playing with his collar, as he padded barefoot into the kitchen where a light was turned on. He thought it was strange since it was daytime and no one was supposed to be home.

“When are Jibeom and Jangjun coming home?” Donghyun asked.

“They’ll be home in an hour or so,” Kihyun told him as he smoothed his hair down. “Minhyuk is picking them up. Maybe we can make more peaches for them too?”

“Yes!”

Kihyun smiled as he craned his neck, trying to see if Hyunwoo was in the kitchen. “Hyunwoo?” he called out as he carried Donghyun down the hall and towards the kitchen. “Did you come back for something? Could you do me a favor and grab the peaches we bought from—”

“I’m… not Hyunwoo.” 

Kihyun gasped and froze in his spot, his eyes widening when not Hyunwoo, but Hoseok stepped out from the kitchen, looking nervous and anxious with hands that shook slightly by his sides. He licked his lips as he stared at Kihyun, no words able to come out of either of their mouths. 

“Hoseok…?” he whispered in disbelief. “What…? What are you doing—” 

“Mr. Hoseok!” Donghyun exclaimed in absolute delight. He wriggled down from Kihyun’s arms and scampered all the way to Hoseok. Hoseok grinned as he approached and wasted no time in scooping him up into his own arms and kissing him on the cheek. “I haven’t seen you in so long!” Donghyun said as he wrapped his arms around Hoseok’s neck. “I missed you!”

“I missed you too,” Hoseok chuckled as he held him warmly. He looked over to Kihyun and cleared his throat. “It’s… It’s been a while for all of us.” 

“Yeah,” Kihyun murmured. “It has been.” 

Kihyun didn’t remember how long ago it was when he had gone to Hoseok’s in the middle of the night, desperately telling him to stay away. He realized that he hadn’t seen Hoseok since he had found out about Kihyun’s current condition and truthfully, Kihyun had hoped that even though he had missed Hoseok to the ends of the earth, he wouldn’t have had to face him again. Not after that disaster of a night. It felt like so long ago but Kihyun was sure it was barely two weeks.

But seeing the light in Donghyun’s eyes, it reminded Kihyun that it had been over a month since the boys had seen Hoseok. And he didn’t have the heart in him to tell Hoseok to leave—not when Donghyun’s eyes sparkled so brightly like that when he looked at him.

“Are you here to help us make peach stars?” he asked, his voice excited.

Hoseok smiled at him. “If your papa lets me.”

And Donghyun’s eyes glittered so much with hope that Kihyun could only sigh in resignment, saying, “Of course. Mr. Hoseok is here to help. But first, baby, could you go wash your hands while we get the peaches?” 

“Mm!” 

It didn’t take long for Donghyun to hop out of Hoseok’s arms and scurry down the hall and into the bathroom, the sound of a faucet being turned on high. Kihyun didn’t have any words to say to Hoseok as they were left alone, silently walking past him and into the kitchen where he grabbed some peaches. He heard Hoseok following him and standing next to the counter as he rinsed them and placed them on a cutting board.

“What are you doing here?” he asked in a quiet voice, looking up at him. 

“I just…” Hoseok started. “I wanted to talk. I have some things I want to tell you.”

Kihyun shook his head as he began slicing the peaches. “Hoseok, I… Listen, if Minhyuk—”

“Minhyuk knows I’m here. So does Hyunwoo.”

The statement made Kihyun pause, looking up from his knife with a confused look. Hoseok stepped towards him cautiously as he said, “They know you’re here?”

“Yeah.” He licked his lips as he stared down at the counter, leaning on it with his hands as he whispered, “I’ve… I’ve really missed you, Kihyun.” 

It was quiet as Kihyun sighed softly through his nose, returning to slicing the fruit in front of him. “I missed you too,” he admitted under his breath. “But that doesn’t mean what I said before doesn’t still stand. You being here doesn’t make things okay. I meant what I said.” 

Hoseok nodded. “I know. I understand, I just…” he looked up at Kihyun imploringly, “I wanted to really apologize to you for all the pain I’ve caused. A lot of things have happened since we talked and… and to tell you things that I really mean.” Their gazes locked and he continued, “I’m not here to say things I don’t mean.” 

Kihyun wanted to say something return, but before he could, Donghyun was running back in the room, holding his clean hands high in the air as he announced his arrival.

“Here I am!” he exclaimed. He pulled a chair from the dining table right next to Hoseok so he could stand and see the counter also. “Did you make the stars without me?!” 

“Not yet, baby,” Kihyun chuckled. He set down his knife to grab a different board to lay the precut slices on. And after reaching into a drawer, he pulled out small star shaped cutters for Donghyun. “You can start on them now if you want.”

“Yes!” he nodded. He looked up at Hoseok and said, “Do you want to make stars with me?” 

“Oh, absolutely!” Hoseok grinned as he began helping Donghyun cut out little stars from the soft peaches. “Do you like stars, Donghyun?”

Donghyun nodded enthusiastically as he started creating a small pile of fruit. “Mm-hm! I love stars! Because Neverland is there!”

“That’s right, isn’t it?”

“You know, I asked papa to go to Neverland once but he said no. But maybe we’ll go in the future! Would you come with us, Mr. Hoseok?”

Hoseok chuckled lightly as he placed a small star into Donghyun’s pile and popped the scraps into his mouth. “Me? Come to Neverland with you? Only if you want me to.”

“I want you to come! Can’t he come, papa?”

Kihyun looked up briefly as he finished slicing the last of the peaches. “If Mr. Hoseok has time, then he can come. But Mr. Hoseok is a busy man.” 

Donghyun blinked and looked up at Hoseok. “You’re a busy man?”

“Mm… sort of.” He ruffled Donghyun’s hair. “No busier than Peter Pan!”

“Peter Pan?” Kihyun laughed lowly. “Doesn’t Peter Pan have lots of things to worry about?”

“Like what?” Donghyun asked. 

Kihyun walked to his other side and kissed his cheek. “Well, baby, remember Peter Pan just has so many people to take around Neverland, sometimes he can’t even see the lost boys.”

“Oh yeah?” Hoseok asked, smiling as he stared at Kihyun. “When did that happen?” 

“Like when Wendy came to Neverland,” Kihyun answered without looking away. 

“Is that bad, papa?”

“No, Peter Pan likes Wendy—that’s why he brought her to Neverland. So he should pay attention to her,” Kihyun explained as he popped a peach star into his mouth. “It’s only right.”

“Is he in love with her?”

Kihyun leaned on the counter with his elbows. “Well… he should be. Maybe they’ll even be getting married, Donghyun.”

“Hm, I don’t know,” Hoseok said suddenly. Kihyun looked at him in confusion as he continued, “I heard Peter Pan and Wendy aren’t getting married anymore.” 

“What…?” Kihyun whispered. 

“They’re not getting married anymore,” he said again. “They realized they didn’t want the same things in Neverland together. And Peter figured that… well, that he had other people he might have loved more.” He grinned and poked Donghyun on the nose. “Like the lost boys, for one!” 

Donghyun giggled. “So Wendy is gone?” he asked. Kihyun seemed interested in the answer also.

“Yeah, Wendy is going back to London. But Peter is staying in Neverland because that’s where he belongs.” 

“How is Wendy going to get back?” 

Hoseok grinned. “Same way she got there, of course—flying. With some good old faith, trust and pixie dust. Right, Donghyun?”

“Right!”

Kihyun stared at him blankly, his eyes wide with shock and Hoseok knew that Kihyun had realized what he was trying to say. Kihyun knew that he was no longer engaged at that point. And he could tell that more than shock in his eyes, there was guilt and Hoseok wanted to do nothing more than explain.

It would seem that Kihyun wanted that also when he lifted Donghyun gently off the chair and said to him, “Donghyun? Baby, can you do papa a big favor and find that book upstairs in your room? The one about monsters in the woods? Can you do that for me?”

“Hm? Why?” he asked, although he did not looked opposed.

“I… want to read it with you and Mr. Hoseok.” Kihyun smiled at him and kissed his forehead. “You’ll find it, right?” 

“Yes, papa, I’ll find it!” 

And with that, he was running off, leaving Kihyun and Hoseok alone. As soon as Kihyun was sure he was out of sight, he turned to Hoseok, his eyes wide as he whispered, “You broke off you engagement?!”

Hoseok nodded. “Yeah. Before you say anything, Kihyun, it’s not your fault. Minah and I had our own problems also and please don’t think that it’s because of you that we broke up.”

_ “Don’t think it’s because of me?  _ What else could it be?” Kihyun asked, a scoff of laughter in his voice. “Hoseok, I—!” 

“It isn’t,” Hoseok said firmly. Softly, he took Kihyun’s hand into his own and was relieved that he didn’t pull away. And then, he said, “Let me explain, okay? Minah and I talked it over and we’re okay now. We’ve come to a mutual standing. And while you might want to blame yourself, don’t, because it’s not your fault, Kihyun. Every mistake I ever made was never your fault. All of my lapses of judgment are on me. I made all those mistakes because I was selfish—so selfishly wanting to be around you, I never realized what kind of damage I was causing. And now that I know and that I’m working to fix things, I want you to know that nothing was ever your fault.”

Kihyun blinked at him, his eyebrows furrowing in such disbelief. “Hoseok… Hoseok, that’s—” 

“And I want you to know that every decision I make now, everything I do and want,” he paused to take a deep breath, “is because I’m in love with you.” 

He could feel Kihyun’s pulse quicken in his hands as he gasped out a soft,  _ “What?”  _

“I know I’ve been stupid. And I know I’ve hurt you in the process of trying to be in love with you while keeping everything I had before I met you. But Kihyun, after I met you, my life has never been so grand and colorful. My life has never been so filled with purpose and love. And all this love I want to give back to you. Tell you that I never pitied you, Kihyun, I could only be grateful to you. I didn’t know it at the time, but everything I did was because I was in love with you.” He smiled softly as he reached up to hold Kihyun’s cheek. “And even now, I’m so stupidly in love with you.

“I want to apologize for all the pain I’ve caused you. And to say sorry for making you feel as if you didn’t deserve to be loved when I was the one making mistakes. There is not one bit of me that deserves you but I would be nothing more than honored if you would ever decide to let me back into your lives again.”

“Hoseok,” Kihyun started softly. His hands shook softly, getting clammy in Hoseok’s hold. “Hoseok, why would you…? How could you leave so many things for me? I don’t deserve that kind of commitment from you.”

“Yes, you do,” he answered quickly, not even missing a beat. “You absolutely do. I know we fell in love a little fast. And it seems like everything is a blur but please, believe me, when I tell you that I am head over heels in love with you.” 

He couldn’t miss that beautiful smile that broke into Kihyun’s face. “You are?” he whispered.

_ “Yeah,”  _ Hoseok replied, his grin bright and his eyes misting with happiness. “I am. And I couldn’t wait another second to tell you. I’m so glad that Minhyuk let Changkyun tell him what was going on and that he gave me a chance to be here and tell you in person.” 

Kihyun laughed as he gripped Hoseok’s hand a little harder. “Hoseok, I… you know, we both know, that I’m sick.” 

“I know. And I want to be with you,” he said earnestly. “Everything you are and everything you entail—I want all of it. I want nothing more, and nothing less, than you.” He interlocked his hand with Kihyun’s and brought it up to his mouth, kissing it softly on the back. 

“Stage four isn’t usually something you want to become a part of.”

“Maybe not. And there are still things that I don’t understand and want to ask you but,” he said, “that still doesn’t change the fact that I’m really, _ really,  _ in love with you.”

“You mean that?” 

“Yes.” 

“You mean  _ everything  _ you just said?”

Hoseok stepped closer, nodding his head. “Cross my heart.” He held Kihyun’s hand up to his mouth again, brushing his lips against the skin as he smiled. “I meant everything I said. And it’s a lot to take in, I know, and I’m sorry,” he said with a soft chuckle. “We can take it as slow as you want—you don’t even need have to make a decision right now. Please just know that I love you and there is not a single version of you that I would ever not be in love with.”

It was absolutely silent between the two of them for a moment, frozen in place from the weight of Hoseok’s words, the only sounds being the distant noises of Donghyun rummaging around in his room, looking for the book Kihyun sent him after. And after a few moments of what had started as uncomfortable silence with their linked hands becoming clammy with all the nerves, the air around them began to relax as Kihyun’s face twitched into a smile, widening bit by bit until he was grinning. It was as though he couldn’t stop that bright, luminescent smile from appearing his face, his hands going to tighten within Hoseok’s as he laughed in the lightest feelings of elation.

“You really love me?” he whispered. 

Hoseok smiled uncontrollably as he nodded. “Yeah. I really do.”

“You swear? Swear on the second star to the right?”

“I  _ swear.”  _

Kihyun grinned that beautiful grin at him as he intertwined their fingers closer and tighter. “I—! I don’t know what to say, Hoseok,” he said, his voice vibrant. “I’m… I’m so sorry that you ended things with Minah. But I’m glad you’re  _ here  _ and you’re… you’re saying things you mean. Because as much as I said the boys and I didn’t need you, we missed you so much. I shouldn’t have been so harsh to you that night—” 

“No,” Hoseok shook his head. “Don’t apologize for that, I deserved it. I needed that kick to get my head out of the clouds.” He looked up. “I need my head to be up there though, don’t I? If I’m going to get to Neverland.”

A laugh came from Kihyun’s lips. “Do you now?”

“Something like that, right?”

“I hear it takes a lot less to get to Neverland from here.” 

Hoseok smiled as he leaned closer affectionately. “Really? What does it take then?”

“Well, you said so yourself to Donghyun earlier,” Kihyun replied in a whisper. “Just some faith, trust, and pixie dust. And you’ll find yourself there in no time.”

“That so?” Hoseok said in return, his voice hushed. “You’ll take me then? Off to Neverland?” 

“No.” Kihyun shook his head, his face so close to Hoseok’s that if he moved any more, there would be no space left between them. “Don’t have to take you anywhere when you’re right here.”

Hoseok chuckled softly through his nose, the air tickling Kihyun’s cheeks. After a second, Hoseok’s voice came out soft and quiet, gentler than ever as he asked, “Kihyun?”

“Mm.”

“Would it be alright if I kissed you right now?”

And it didn’t even take Kihyun a whole heartbeat to nod his head and flutter his eyes closed before they were leaning into each other, their hearts pounding and hands sweaty as their lips touched. It was nothing like the first time they had kissed. Hoseok’s lips were soft and plush against his, warm as he turned his head only to make them fit better. They stayed like that for what felt like a whole minute, and maybe it couldn’t even count as a kiss for all it was simply touching, but Kihyun had never felt more bliss in a single moment before. He could feel Hoseok’s pulse and heat and in his hands, Kihyun felt like he could feel everything and in that moment, he was reminded just how much bitterness could be taken away with a kiss.

Hoseok pulled away gently, leaning in to leave a soft, lingering kiss on his lips before breaking into a smile so wide, his face looked as though it could break. “I love you,” he said again under his breath.

And there wasn’t a single soul between Earth or Neverland that could deny the sparkle in Kihyun’s eyes as he replied, “Me too.”

Minutes later, Donghyun came back into the room, unaware of the amount of time or words that had passed while he was gone, scratching his head and asking Kihyun which book he wanted again, because he couldn’t seem to find it. And Kihyun only laughed and picked him up, saying that it was alright—that he didn’t need to find it. All he needed to do was to enjoy all the little star shaped peaches with him and Mr. Hoseok. 

Kihyun and Hoseok couldn’t stop sending each other warm glances as they talked and snacked along with Donghyun, rearranging the stars into constellations and picking them off to eat one by one. It was when Hoseok placing two stars next to each other, proclaiming the one on the right as Neverland, that they heard the door opening and more footsteps scampering in. 

The looks of pure excitement and happiness that lit up in Jibeom and Jangjun’s eyes were ones Kihyun would never forget as they ran straight into Hoseok’s arms, exclaiming about how much they had missed him and how long it had been since they had seen each other. Minhyuk walked in right behind them and when he saw Hoseok and Kihyun there together, nothing awkward in the space between them, he nodded. Kihyun didn’t need to ask to know how he felt.

Kihyun realized that, in what felt like ages, he didn’t feel like he was floating anymore—no, he felt like he was flying. He was soaring in all sort of directions, the aimless and empty feeling of floating gone from his system. And flying was the first step to finding Neverland. And looking around him, with a little faith, trust, pixie dust, and some happy thoughts to set him into the air, Kihyun realized that Neverland wasn’t so out of reach after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cries its been a long time coming  
> but we're here now T ^ T
> 
> hoseok is finally fixing things ; v ; things are looking up at last ;; v ;;   
> kiHO ?? KISSED??? AND IT DIDNT HURT????? amazing can u believe it 
> 
> it feels like so long ago since the first time they kissed, its been a roller coaster since  
> but the roller coaster is coming down ; v ;   
> (but pls remember that this still aint the whole story) 
> 
> anyways!!!! it's been a while, so drop me a comment down below please!! let me know how ur feeling now ; v ; bc it finally feels like things are becoming okay i mean kihyuns still dyin and all but things are becoming okay ; v ; 
> 
> lov u!!! see you all in the next update ; v ;
> 
> twt: [kkulseoki](https://twitter.com/kkulseoki)  
> cc : [quinseok](https://curiouscat.me/quinseok)


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